Narcissists always make the end of a relationship longer than it needs to be, no matter how it happens.
The narcissist never just lets go. When things start falling apart, they make it last as long as they can, twisting everything to stay in control. You might ask, why don’t they just split up and go their way? Why not share things, talk, and move on? But that would be too easy, too normal.
They want more. They want to stay in charge, even when everything is ending. For them, leaving isn’t about finishing things, it’s about making a big deal, keeping control until the last moment.
When a narcissistic relationship ends, it’s nothing like any other. It’s a big shock, like a storm coming suddenly. One minute, you are trying to understand what’s going on. The next, they’re gone without talking, without caring about the time you spent together.
It’s like they were never even there.
The narcissist doesn’t just disappear without leaving a mess. They leave behind confusion, questions, and even anger. You might find that they quickly move on to someone new, just to show themselves they were not the problem. Or maybe they go to their family, friends, or work, anyone but you. They don’t care about the life they had with you, they care about what’s next for them, who is next for them.
And when they leave, they leave a mess behind. It’s not just that they leave, but how they leave. It’s like they want to show you how little they cared for you, how easy it was for them to walk away. The end isn’t clean, it’s messy, planned, and it’s meant to hurt you.
In a narcissistic relationship, the end is never really about finishing things. It’s about them winning. It’s a game they play until the very end, and even when it’s over, they make sure you feel like you never had a chance to win.
How to break free from someone who only used you and find your strength again.
Think about being in a relationship where you give all your love, time, and energy because you believe it’s real. You think both of you want the same thing. But slowly, things start to change. You realize that they don’t care about you as a person, they only care about what you can do for them.
Then one day, without warning they decide they don’t need you anymore. To them, you are not useful now. So, they leave, looking for something else they think is better, while you feel confused, sad, and very tired.
When the relationship ends maybe they left or maybe you had to leave, it usually feels the same. You want answers, you want to understand what went wrong. But they don’t want to talk about it, they won’t tell you the truth because they don’t want to admit they used you. They don’t want to say, “Yes, I was selfish.”
It’s easier for them to just avoid it.
And don’t expect them to give you closure, because they won’t. Instead, they keep things unfinished. They leave the door open just a little, so they can come back if they want. It’s not because they love you or care about you. No, it’s because they want control. They want to keep you as an option, someone they can use again later.
But you have the power to stop this, close that door completely. Block them, delete their number, and don’t talk to their friends or anyone who might bring them back into your life. This is not about being mean, it’s about protecting yourself.
People like this take everything from you like your energy, your love, your kindness, even your hope. They make you feel confused and unsure about yourself. They use you to fix their problems, support them, and make them feel important while you keep losing more and more of yourself. That’s not love, that’s just them being selfish.
But one thing you should know is that they don’t control your life. You can take back your happiness, your peace, and your strength. When you stop talking to them and start focusing on yourself, you can heal. You deserve relationships that make you feel good, not ones that hurt you. So remember this, you are worth so much more than how they treated you.
When you find out you were in a relationship with a narcissist or maybe you’re still in it, it’s so important to act fast. Narcissists don’t change, they don’t suddenly wake up and become nice, caring, or stable. No matter how much love or effort you gave, they already showed you who they are. The red flags were always there, not just at the end but the whole time.
It’s not your fault you didn’t see it before.
You were stuck in their trap, and they made sure you stayed confused. Nobody teaches us how to handle people like this, so you kept giving and hoping things would get better. But they weren’t connecting with you, they were testing you. They wanted to see how much you would tolerate their silent treatment, lies, and attempts to make you look bad to others. In the end, all they wanted was control.
You didn’t figure it out earlier because they didn’t want you to. That’s their game, keeping you confused and unsure about everything. But now, you see what’s really going on. You understand they were not loving you, they were using you. They wanted you to doubt yourself and feel like the problem was you.
Once again, it was never your fault. They don’t know how to love anyone, not you, not anyone. It’s just how they are, Once you understand this you’ll see what you need to do.
But now, you’re not stuck anymore. You understand what happened, and you’re getting stronger. By cutting them off and focusing on yourself, you’re breaking free. They wanted to hold you down, but now you’re moving forward, and they can’t stop you.
How to stop being stuck in the past and take back control after they leave.
Imagine you are in a relationship with someone who takes all your energy, and maybe you’re thinking about ending it or maybe you were not married, but it was a romantic relationship. You both lived together, whether you rented or owned the place. One day, they leave but it’s not just about them walking out. They leave things behind like some clothes, maybe a picture, a perfume bottle, or a gift they gave you like an ashtray for example. But here’s the thing, those things are not just things. They are meant to keep you stuck on them.
They leave these items on purpose, and it’s all about making sure you stay emotionally connected to them. Imagine you are still living in the house, stuck with a lease or mortgage. You are surrounded by memories of them, always reminding you of the past. This is their plan to keep you feeling stuck, unable to move on.
And then there’s the money side, did they pay their part for rent or the mortgage? Probably not. Most of the time, they leave you with all the bills, and they move on without caring. So now, you’re stuck with the house and all the pain that comes with those memories.
I know how this feels, walking through the same house where everything felt normal, but now it feels like a prison, full of painful memories. The memories come back at strange times on weekends, at night, or when the weather changes. Sometimes, you wake up with hope, but then you realize no one is beside you. It hits you hard, and you understand how much you’ve been hurt.
This is exactly what they want.
They want you stuck in those memories, trapped in the place where they had control. They don’t want you to understand what happened, or to see how they manipulated you. They want you to keep asking yourself questions and looking back, never moving forward.
But now you are starting to see the truth. Understanding their tricks is the first step to breaking free. They wanted to keep you tied to them with those things they left behind, but now you know better. You have learned the truth, and that is your key to getting out.
Living in the house where you were with the narcissist feels like the past is always around you. Every place in the house like the kitchen, the bedroom, the patio, has memories. You remember holidays, birthdays, cooking, cleaning, and all those little things. When the narcissist left, they didn’t just leave. They wanted it to hurt you deeply.
They didn’t care about you, not really.
Their actions showed how little they cared. They acted like they were a loving partner, but it was all fake. They’ve been like this for years, using people to get what they want. To them you weren’t their partner, you were just someone they could take from to make their life easier.
Even after they leave, they don’t stop. They make things hard like dragging out divorce, child custody, or money problems, so you stay stuck. They want you to feel like they’ve moved on, like they’re happy and doing great without you.
But that’s not true, what you see is not real. Just like you used to make excuses for them, the people around them now, like their new partner or friends, are doing the same thing. The narcissist will say anything to make people feel sorry for them and give them what they want.
But here’s what they didn’t expect, you’re getting stronger and you’re healing. You can see the truth now, and they can’t control you anymore. You’re doing what they didn’t want, moving forward and taking back your life.
Letting go of their things and moving on is the key to taking back control of your life.
If you lived with a narcissist or were in a relationship with one, and they left you or you had to leave yourself, maybe you still have some things left behind. Now you might be thinking like should I go back for them? My advice is simple, if those things are not really important, it’s better to let them go. Think of them as part of what you lost to leave the relationship, you need to decide what matters most to you now.
When you were in the relationship, maybe those things felt valuable. But now, when you look back, do they still mean the same? Back then, it felt real but now you know it wasn’t. The relationship was like standing on quicksand, there was no real foundation.
The narcissist wore a mask to manipulate you, they pulled you into their world and made you believe it was true. You probably gave them your love, kindness, and everything you could because you’re a good person, caring, strong, and generous. But them? They were not like you. They only took from you. They are manipulators, liars, and people who don’t give anything back. They know what they did, but they will never admit it.
If you had to leave quickly, you probably grabbed what you could and got out fast. Maybe you had a plan, or maybe you just ran when you got the chance. Now you’re in a safe place maybe with family, friends, or by yourself. It’s normal to think about the things you left behind, and maybe you feel like you need them.
But stop and ask yourself, are those things really worth it? Do they really help you in your new life, or are they just tied to bad memories? Sometimes, letting go of those items is the best thing you can do. Your safety and peace of mind are the most important. Moving forward without those ties might be the best decision for you.
If you left some things behind and they’re not super important or you can live without them, it’s better to just let them go. Think of those things as part of what it cost to get out of that relationship. The best thing you can do now is cut all contact, block the narcissist, delete their number, and stay away from anyone who’s close to them. But if there’s something you really need, I get it. Go grab it, but do it quickly and get out. Just be ready, they might try to make it hard for you. Why? Because they hate to see anyone move on or do better without them.
Narcissists see everything as a competition.
They compete with you, their family, their new partner, their exes, and even people they barely know. In their head, they think they’re perfect and can’t do anything wrong. That’s why they never take responsibility for their actions. They tell themselves stuff like, “I’m the best, I’m powerful, everyone loves me, I can’t be wrong.” They believe these lies so much that it becomes their reality.
But the truth? It’s all fake.
Narcissists live in their own little world where everyone else is just there to play a part in their story. If you don’t follow their script or do what they want, they’ll drop you like you don’t even matter. To them, everyone is replaceable including partners, friends, and even their own family.. Nobody is safe from being cut out when they’re no longer useful to the narcissist.
When you realize this, you’ll see their discard for what it really is. It’s not about you, it’s about their selfishness and need to feel in control. They treat people like objects, switching them out whenever they want. But now, you see through their game. You’re no longer part of their story, and that’s how you take back your freedom.
Why the narcissist keep dragging things to the end? Simple.
They know this will hurt you the most. They know that things like divorce, splitting the money, or deciding who gets the kids, sometimes you need their agreement to finish. And because narcissists always want to be in control, they think this is their chance to stay in power. They think it helps them win. But in reality? It doesn’t help them at all. In their mind though, they always feel like they are winning. They want to feel like they tricked you and everyone around them.
What they don’t understand is that the world is changing. The law is getting smarter, And so are the people who have been around them, including work friends, family, ex-partners, and others who know their games. Thanks to the internet and phones, more people are starting to understand narcissism. People who have suffered quietly for so long like empaths or victims of abuse are finally speaking up. We are learning to say “no,” and we’re starting to realize that we come first.
When you finally get away from a narcissist, it’s like breaking all the chains: emotional, financial, physical, and even spiritual that have been holding you. And when those chains are broken, your life truly begins. Doors open, and opportunities and freedom are all around you. No more waiting for them to change, no more giving them second chances, and no more trying to fix everything, you can focus on yourself now.
The narcissist just wants to keep you stuck in their world of confusion and chaos because that’s how they live. Do they know they are narcissists? Maybe, maybe not. But they know they don’t make anyone’s life better. They depend on getting forgiveness, second chances, and other people helping them to survive.
But the truth is, you are not like the others they have fooled. You are strong, tough, and determined. You have something they never expected, understanding their bad patterns. When you know how they work, it’s easy to see what they will do next. You can spot their tricks and the way they try to control everything.
The narcissist is stuck in their miserable cycle of confusion and chaos. To them, life is just a game, and they keep playing the same game over and over. They want to stretch every relationship, every ending, just to hurt the people who actually cared about them. But you are different, you have escaped. You’re not just surviving, you’re living well. And that’s something the narcissist never saw coming.
