Let’s begin with closure, it’s something they won’t give you. They avoid it, leaving you in limbo instead of providing clarity.

After breaking free from a narcissistic relationship, those who were left behind or chose to walk away often hope for closure. But here’s the reality check: closure won’t come from the narcissist.

They want to keep you entangled in their web, fixated on them, and stuck in your thoughts forever. They avoid closure because it’s not in their nature instead, they thrive on swiftly moving on to new sources of attention and praise.

Accepting this truth can be tough, especially right after the relationship ends. Many of us who were involved with narcissists often gave too much, maybe because we found it hard to say no or because we always wanted to please others.

Some of us might have been sensitive and caring, traits that often drew us into these relationships. When the relationship suddenly ends, often in chaos, we’re left wanting answers from someone who was skilled at deceiving and manipulating.

Narcissists don’t show their true selves. They hide their intentions behind masks, showing different sides to different people. They won’t give you a clear picture of their past actions, their future plans, or the pain they’ve caused. They live in a world of illusion and charm, hiding their real motives and actions.

Revealing the Narcissist’s False Image

In public, narcissists often act like victims or pretend their relationships are perfect. But behind closed doors, during vulnerable moments like speeding down the freeway or facing gaslighting and silence at home, their true nature shows.

They manipulate by causing chaos, spreading rumors, and using different kinds of abuse like verbal, mental, emotional, financial, and sometimes even physical.

When you were in that relationship, you didn’t know about narcissism.

You sensed something was wrong but didn’t understand terms like triangulation or projection. Then, it clicked. You learned about these tactics and realized you were in a narcissistic relationship, a place where the narcissist hides their real self.

One big question is: Do narcissists know they’re narcissistic?

They might not use the term, but they know they hurt others and put themselves first. They damage relationships and undermine what’s important to their targets.

Every day, they choose to manipulate and gather things like love, money, and attention to boost themselves up while keeping others down.

Once they get what they want from you, narcissists will either leave you or you’ll end the relationship yourself. Then, they’ll quickly find someone new to manipulate.

Another thing they won’t do is help you understand their past.

did they ever really share their childhood, high school, or college experiences with you? Probably not. They might have given you a few bits of truth, but mostly, they told you what they wanted you to believe, knowing you couldn’t check their stories.

This is why narcissists lie and twist the truth.

They use their version of past events, real or not, to control new relationships. For example, when you met the narcissist, you might have believed their story about a terrible ex.

They probably made their ex look like the bad guy, so you’d feel sorry for them and think you could do better. But in reality, they were likely describing their own behavior and blaming their ex for things they did themselves.

Over time, narcissists show their true colors.

They drop hints about their real nature during the relationship and definitely after it ends. Once you see who they really are, it’s time to run. Cut off contact, block them, and avoid anyone connected to them. This is how you free yourself from their manipulation.

Things that Narcissists Can’t and Won’t Do for You

Now, you’re living in the present, using what you’ve learned from the past, and not stressing about the future. This is important because there are many things a narcissist can’t and won’t do for you.

Take your health, for instance. If you had a health issue, was the narcissist really there for you? Probably not. Maybe they helped once or twice, like driving you to the hospital, or maybe they didn’t even do that.

Narcissists can’t give what they don’t have.

They lack love, empathy, and kindness. They can’t grow or commit. They rely on deception and always have one foot out the door, looking for the next shiny object, which was once you.

When you had health problems, the narcissist was likely nowhere to be found. If they were around, they probably used your suffering to their advantage.

If you had a serious health issue, the narcissist likely used that time to find someone new to replace you.

It might sound harsh, but this is their pattern. When they see someone they once admired, like you, in a vulnerable state, they often use that opportunity to cut ties and move on. It’s a cruel reality, but it’s what they do when they think you no longer shine as brightly as you once did.

Narcissists constantly seek validation and a sense of importance, so they always have backup sources of attention ready to replace you.

They won’t admit this, but it’s their way.

They also engage in financial abuse. They won’t tell you they’re planning to drain your resources. They might pretend to be broke, making you pay for everything while they secretly save your money for themselves, all while making it seem like it’s for your benefit.

Narcissists expect everything but give nothing back.

They drain their family, friends, and anyone else close to them. Once they’ve taken all they can, they just move on to take more from someone else.

Narcissists often hide their true selves, blending into groups, businesses, communities, and personal lives without being noticed until it’s too late.

But if you’ve experienced and healed from narcissistic abuse, you can see the red flags from afar. You understand their tactics like gaslighting, stonewalling, and triangulation, and can see through their masks.

Understanding Narcissistic Patterns

Back then, you couldn’t see the signs because you didn’t have the experience. In a relationship with a narcissist, you weren’t supposed to figure it out. You were meant to stay confused, always wondering what went wrong, if you could have done more, if they loved you, if they could change, or if their therapy was actually working.

Now we know that narcissists hard to change.

They can’t reflect on themselves or grow. They stay in their negative state. If they wanted to improve, they wouldn’t take from others. They’d be honest, real, and work on themselves.

But narcissists don’t do that. They pretend to do the hard work you did.

They might go to a therapy session, saying they’re getting help. But are they really trying? No. They’re just pretending, without actually changing.

Let’s go back to the start of the relationship. Remember how the narcissist made themselves out to be your perfect match, your soulmate, the answer to all your hopes?

They promised love and happiness but turned out to be your worst enemy, a force trying to bring you down and hiding their true self behind a mask.

There are many things narcissists won’t do for you.

They won’t own up to the lies they spread about you to your family, coworkers, neighbors, and even your own children or stepchildren, and everyone around you.

If they did, it would show their true nature and their sneaky ways. This is why their manipulation is so tricky, it seeps into every part of your life until it’s hard to see who they really are.

Once you realize you’re in or were in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s important to understand these truths.

If the relationship feels one-sided, lacking fairness and equal value, it’s probably harmful.

It’s crucial to think about whether you’re getting anything positive from it. If not, it might be time to reassess and think about your own well-being.

Life After Recognizing Narcissistic Abuse

Let me explain what narcissists won’t admit or assist you with. When you’re in a relationship with them, they’ll keep hurting you until you wise up, see through their fake charm, and finally decide to break free and cut off contact.

Many people stay in these harmful relationships even when they realize it’s toxic narcissism.

They might still be married, share assets, or wait for kids to finish school or legal issues to settle. Some go from partners in love to just sharing a home, living separately but stuck together, hoping for a chance to escape.

It’s not only about romantic ties, it could be friends or colleagues too.

Living under the same roof with a narcissist is never good for your well-being. The key is to completely separate yourself from their influence and break the emotional, financial, physical, and spiritual ties that keep you bound.

Understanding what you’re dealing with gives you the power to overcome it, just like many of us have.

We’ve reached a point where narcissists and the chaos they bring no longer control us. Unfortunately, being in relationships with narcissists often hurts those closest to us like our kids, grandkids, lifelong friends, and even workmates.

One narcissist can cause so much trouble, yet they refuse to admit their faults or show their true colors because they fear exposure.

They can’t just come to you and say, as I often emphasize in my articles, “Here’s who I am and what I’ll do to you. I’m good at this, so be careful if you decide to trust me.” If they did that, it would destroy their fake image.

I emphasize this because anyone who hides behind lies to control others is someone you should stay away from. Masks are for Carnival or when health issues demand it, not for everyday life.

The Deceptive Masks of Narcissists

Imagine mornings with a narcissist at home, they put you down, but when they go out, they act happy and successful to everyone else, leaving you to handle everything at home alone.

And then they change their behavior when they go to the gym, pretending to be very fit and attractive to impress others.

Another time they act differently is on social media, especially on dating apps. On these apps, narcissists often show a completely different version of themselves.

Their profile picture might make them look perfect and flawless, but in reality, they’re just regular people with flaws and everyday problems.

Narcissists will do whatever it takes to get attention and admiration from others.

They won’t support anyone in doing the right thing, instead they’ll keep manipulating, blaming others, and showing no care or empathy, not just to you but to everyone they meet. That’s why it’s important to stay away from relationships with narcissists.

Wrap it up

That’s all for now. This is Ryan signing off. Remember that true change begins with a spark. Don’t romanticize the past with the narcissist, it wasn’t all good. Accept that the relationship was what it was, not what you wished for.

Remember, narcissists hard to change and they stay stuck in their negative ways.

But you can rise above it all. Aim higher than the stars and leave the narcissistic chapter behind.

Take time to heal, talk to a therapist, write in a journal or your healing story and experience, meditate, and learn from helpful articles, books, videos, and community. Healing from past hurts is part of your journey

I hope you found my article informative and helpful.

Please let me know what you think, God bless you, Love you all, and take care!

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