Narcissists often think they’re cleverer than they really are. They assume others won’t see through their fake persona and underestimate our intelligence.

They thinks they’re better than everyone else and entitled to special treatment. They see people as either rivals or opportunities to exploit. But their downfall begins when they overestimate themselves and things start to go wrong.

When you were with them, they probably had control over everything, especially with you supporting them despite their bad behavior.

Back then, you didn’t fully understand narcissism, so you didn’t choose to be in that situation knowingly. Once you were committed, like in a marriage or living together, it often felt too late to change course. Maybe you were even born into a family where narcissism was common.

The Narcissist’s Deception, Using You Without Genuine Care

The truth is, the narcissist saw you as their best option, fully aware of your value, just like you and I do now. They never treated you well, didn’t care about your happiness, and had no interest in your success, dreams, or goals.

Think about it when the narcissist sabotaged everything in your life like your relationships, health, money, peace of mind, job, hobbies, and belongings.

They never cared about what was best for you, not even for a moment.

You might wonder, “But Ryan, isn’t that too harsh? Didn’t they care at first?” No, that was all a show. They only saw you as a tool to advance themselves, not as someone to genuinely care for.

The Narcissist’s Web of Deception, From Affection to Manipulation

They pretended to be someone they weren’t. They tricked, deceived, and trapped you. After showering you with affection in the beginning, they shifted gears into devaluing you, where they held all the power.

During this time, you endured long-term abuse that affected your mind, emotions, spirit, finances, and overall well-being.

Throughout all the challenges you faced, the traits and resources you brought they were at the center of it all.

They undermined everything, spreading lies about you long before you caught on. They used tactics such as manipulating others against you and making you doubt your own reality, things you had never encountered before.

They took advantage of your lack of knowledge about these harmful behaviors.

They might not have known the names for these tactics, but they knew exactly how to use them to control you.

Their goal was to break down your independence, keep you isolated, and make you rely on them completely. They wanted you to lose your sense of self, suppress your opinions, and constantly walk on eggshells around their unpredictable behavior.

Understanding Narcissistic Recovery, From Silence to Self-Prioritization

They wanted you to stay silent, always there for them, enduring their bad behavior. But something changed in that relationship, leading to your rejection. Whether they left you or you left them, my thoughts go out to you for enduring such a toxic relationship.

Every moment in such relationships, once you realize their true nature, is too long.

Back then, you didn’t know about narcissism. You gave too much, maybe trying too hard to please, always saying yes, without clear boundaries, unable to say no.

Remember, saying no to something or someone, especially a narcissist, means saying yes to yourself.

Now, as I tell you this, it’s how narcissists fall apart after the relationship ends. Without you to control them, handle their problems, match their intellect, and meet their needs, despite their belief that they’re above it all their false front starts to crumble.

Revealing Dependency, The Narcissist’s Struggle with Self-Sufficiency

Imagine you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, and you suggest things like, “You should see a doctor” or “Maybe you should get your bike fixed” or “Have you paid your internet bill?”

The narcissist’s reply? “Aren’t you going to take care of me?” They expect you to handle everything. But you can’t see the doctor for them, it’s their bike, and after paying their internet bill for years, it’s time they stepped up.

When you leave, the narcissist has to start taking care of themselves.

This is hard for them because they’re used to relying on others. Simple tasks like paying bills, looking after the house, or taking care of the kids are difficult for them.

They expect someone else to do it all.

This reveals their true colors, showing a reliance on others and an inability to handle everyday responsibilities. Tasks that you manage effortlessly become challenging for them, highlighting their struggle to function independently.

The Narcissist’s Dependency on Others, From Shoes to Basement Living

Ever been with a narcissist and thought, “How did you cope before me? You can’t even cook simple food like Nasi Goreng” The reality is, they always had someone else doing everything for them.

Now, let’s talk about the narcissist’s mom, who might be a narcissist herself.

Narcissists often cling closely to their mothers (or fathers) because they need constant guidance and a safe place.

They yearn for a basement or living room at mom’s where they can binge-watch movies online, play gaming console or pc game, eat snacks in a stained shirt, wear sandals from years ago, and go months without washing their hair.

That’s what they want, someone to cater to their every whim.

So when the narcissist ended things with you, or you ended things with them, they quickly learned their new partner wasn’t what they expected. The grass wasn’t greener, and that person wasn’t willing to do all the things you did for them.

Ending the Cycle, Cutting Off Narcissistic Influence

Believe me that narcissists had their best times with you. You know it, and deep down, they know it too. They’ll miss what they had, but here’s what’s crucial, don’t go back to them. It’s vital to cut off contact, block, delete, remove them and anyone connected to them, including their allies.

If you can do this now, I strongly recommend it because staying in that relationship or hoping the narcissist will change is pointless.

They won’t change, and you deserve better.

If you’re still with me, here’s the main point. Narcissists never cared about your well-being, they don’t care about their new partner, their previous ones, or even their own kids.

Their main concern is themselves it may sounds harsh for some of you, but they only care about what others can give them, whether it’s money, status, expensive gifts, or vacations.

That’s what motivates narcissists.

But what you absolutely don’t need in your life is toxicity. You shouldn’t be around any narcissist, especially the one you’re thinking about.

So, leave that door closed as in the article I wrote before you should check it, seal it tight, and make sure it stays closed.

Narcissists will always be watching, always comparing their options, always saying, “You’re the one who got away.” You were once their bright light, but you were too strong, too smart, too resilient. You saw through their facade, you saw who they really are, and now they know you know.

The Narcissist’s Decline: Knowing Their Destructive Behavior

That’s why it’s really important to block them. Even after you’ve left the relationship and started healing, don’t underestimate the need to block them. Blocking these individuals completely cuts off their access to you.

It sends a strong message that you want nothing more to do with them.

Now, let’s focus on why the narcissist’s life keeps going downhill. It’s because they’ve lost what they had in you. Sooner or later, they’ll look back and realize, “I had something amazing with that person. They cared and loved me, something I’m unable to do. They did so much for me, yet I made them my main target to ruin their life and relationships. But the truth is, I ruin every relationship I get into.”

The narcissist knows what they’re doing.

They’re aware of the harm they caused you, their new partner, and others in the past. They’re already likely grooming new people to use, even as you’re reading this. The narcissist’s manipulations never stop.

The less attention you give them, the stronger you become and they lose their hold over you

The less attention you give them, the stronger you become. As you gain strength, they lose their hold over you. Eventually, you’ll wake up one day and realize, “I feel better, I no longer care about them. I’ve blocked them, cut off all contact, and moved away. I’m free from their toxicity and I’m healing. I know my worth now, and I see that their life will crumble without me, just like it did when we were together.”

Think back to when you were with the narcissist and had to handle their issues. For instance, if they were planning a trip, you’d advise, “Are you sure it’s a good time? The weather isn’t great.” They’d pretend they considered that, but they hadn’t, they were just taking your advice.

Or if they were buying something, they’d overpay because they weren’t as savvy as they thought.

When you pointed out they got ripped off, they’d deny it and insist it was a great deal. They were too proud and always believed they were right, even when they were clearly wrong.

Narcissists only invest effort at the beginning of the relationship to make you believe in their act

At first, you made all the decisions for the narcissist. During the love-bombing phase, they listened and praised you, making you feel valued. This was their way of getting you to let your guard down. But once they felt secure whether you moved in, started paying bills, relocated, or had kids, they changed.

By then, you were deeply invested in the relationship.

Narcissists, however, never truly invest. They only put in effort at the beginning, to make you believe in their act. That’s why they often appear unmotivated, domineering, and evasive, depending on others to accept their facade.

When you said, “I love you” or agreed to move in, the narcissist felt victorious.

They thought, “I hooked them in a couple of months; maybe next time I’ll do it even quicker.” They would mirror your words, pretending to care.

But once they felt secure, they would pull back, become unavailable, devalue you, and demand more from you financially or emotionally.

Their goal was to break you, because that’s what they do.

Narcissists can’t genuinely love or show empathy. They thrive on manipulation, abuse, and toxicity, they know this about themselves and use it to control and exploit others.

Narcissists create a cycle of abuse and chaos in relationships

After everything said, the narcissist’s life keeps going downhill, it won’t improve. You might think, “But Ryan, the new partner has been with them for many years.” Maybe so, but do you really know what happens behind closed doors? No, and maybe it’s better not to know.

The thing is, when you were with the narcissist, you endured all kinds of abuselike mental, financial, emotional, spiritual, maybe even physical.

That’s probably what the new partner is dealing with now.

They might be keeping it all quiet, stuck in a cycle of trauma or hoping to fix things, perhaps not fully aware of narcissism. Remember, there was a time when that was you.

You made excuses for the narcissist, ignored red flags, and ignored your instincts.

Eventually, whether you were discarded or figured things out and left on your own terms, you knew you had to break free from that toxic situation.

During that time, the narcissist was the constant source of chaos in your life. They spread lies about you, played with your mind, disappeared, and left you hanging. They watched you struggle, gave nothing in return, and enjoyed seeing you suffer, believing they had total control over you.

Narcissists discard and manipulate while seeking new person

Maybe it’s time for the narcissist to focus more on grooming their new person because they’ll eventually discard them, just like they did to you or me. I’m not trying to upset you, I’m just explaining how narcissists operate. They use people like disposable items, throwing them away once they’ve gotten what they wanted.

They thrive on keeping others trapped, longing for them, unable to break free from the emotional grip or rebuild their confidence.

That’s why I’m sharing this insight, without the support and attention you gave them, the narcissist’s life starts to unravel.

It might already be happening.

But it’s best not to keep checking social media or trying to keep up with them. Block them out, avoid anyone connected to them. Sometimes ignorance is truly bliss.

Most importantly, don’t give them any way to reach you.

Stay out of their sight. If you have to interact with them maybe you live nearby or work together, keep a low profile.

Use the Grey Rock method: don’t react, don’t start conversations, just blend into the background. What will happen then? They’ll lose interest, move on to someone else, and fade away from your life.

Insights into the dynamics of a narcissist’s life

The narcissist’s life isn’t as great as it may seem, just imagine lying in bed each night, spending hours on a phone looking for new people to impress or manipulate until the battery dies.

It’s a lonely cycle, thinking about all the relationships they’ve ruined like partners, parents, children, friends, coworkers. Who’s next? Anyone who falls for their act, anyone who takes their bait.

That’s why it’s crucial to protect yourself, set boundaries, and learn to say no. Once you understand narcissism and break free from its grip, consider yourself fortunate.

Many never figure it out, they’re too trapped or unaware. You’ve come this far, giving you the chance to heal and move forward.

Appreciate that you’re no longer stuck in that toxic relationship, resist any temptation to go back or get involved in similar situations.

That’s why I often emphasize the importance of blocking them.

Understand that as narcissists age, their lives often deteriorate. They cling to a past they can’t relive, dressing and talking like they did decades ago, hanging out with younger people to feel relevant. It’s a sad decline, but that’s a topic for another discussion, one I’ve covered before.

Wrap it up

Before I conclude this article, I want to emphasize something. If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist right now, start planning your way out grow, develop, and make your move.

If you’ve already left, I hope you’ve cut off contact.

For those who’ve been out a while and healed, it’s time to give back. Let’s fill ourselves up and help those just starting to grasp what narcissism is, maybe reading their first article on the topic.

Remember, we were once in their shoes. We didn’t know then what we do now. We’ve come through that tough time, like rising from the ashes.

We’re awake, informed, empowered, forever changed into the strongest version of ourselves yet.

So, let’s avoid checking their social media, avoid knowing anything about them. Focus on yourself, put all that energy into healing, learning, growing, and if you can, helping others.

That’s all for today’s article. I certainly enjoyed sharing it. This is Ryan signing off. Remember, true change begins with a spark.

I hope you found my article informative and helpful.

Please let me know what you think, God bless you, Love you all, and take care!

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