It’s like trying to explain a long, detailed trip to someone who has never taken it. The little details and complexities are hard to get across, making it a challenging job.

Explaining what it’s like to endure narcissistic abuse is hard for those who haven’t been through it. You can learn from articles, books and videos, but truly grasping things like gaslighting and stonewalling without experiencing them firsthand is difficult.

Many of us have been on this cycle, some are still figuring things out. If you’re new here, welcome and taking this first step is brave.

A lot of us have found peace by learning from our past and focusing on today. We’ve moved past the pain and are embracing life’s lessons, not stuck dwelling on the past or trying to predict the future.

Understanding Narcissistic Relationships, Sharing insights, inspiring others, and healing.

Some people visit my profile to learn about narcissism and gain insights from my personal experience. I wish I hadn’t gone through it, but I use what I’ve learned to help others understand the challenges of dealing with narcissistic relationships and grow stronger.

Then there are a few individuals who are inspired by my content to start their own articles.

They will soon be noticed, I hope so. But most of us here are eager to learn. We seek answers that narcissists denied us during and after relationships, withholding closure to hinder our healing and conceal their true selves.

Understanding and Accepting Narcissistic Relationships

When you finally understand what narcissism is and how it affected you over time, whether in one relationship or throughout your life. It’s a big realization. You think, “I’m not the only one Ryan!, there are many people like me.” This understanding is really important.

Accepting that the relationship wasn’t what you thought is a big step.

It was harmful and exhausting, the narcissist leads this destructive path without caring about the damage. They’ve been doing this for a long time and might continue with new people after you.

As I often say, talking about this to those who haven’t been through it can be hard. They can support you, listen, and be there for you, but they might not fully grasp your experience. It’s new to them, and they might get tired of hearing about it without experiencing it themselves.

Understanding the Two Sides of Dealing with a Narcissist

Sometimes, the person you’re talking about can appear different to others. For example, if you engaged or married a narcissist, after the ceremony or wedding, the abuse often got worse.

You became a target for their anger and demands someone to blame or use without pay.

Most wedding guests didn’t see this side of the narcissist, especially not their close family who might have known their toxic behavior but never warned you.

I understand this is a lot to take in. Behind closed doors, you endured manipulation, silence, and shifting blame for days, months, or even years.

Meanwhile, outsiders like family, friends, coworkers, probably only saw the narcissist’s charming side. Sometimes they glimpsed their true nature but dismissed it as a bad day or tough times.

Growing Up with a Narcissistic Parent

The people who truly understand a narcissist are those who live with them, the ones who endure most of the hurt. It’s not the casual friends, supporters, or neighbors, it’s those stuck inside that house.

If you grew up with a narcissistic parent or parents, you know firsthand.

Childhood wasn’t what you expected, it was what it was. You might have been treated as a scapegoat or a favorite, or somewhere in between.

It wasn’t the loving, stable upbringing you deserved.

Everyone’s childhood is different, we all have our own stories. Whether you faced difficult times or had a happy childhood, at some point, you chose kindness, empathy, and maybe struggled with setting boundaries.

You’re a good person, then and now, choosing to take the higher path and often putting others first.

Understanding the Impact of Narcissistic Manipulation

The narcissists noticed something in you, they saw your potential but didn’t understand narcissism. So they used you, manipulating and trapping you in cycles of feeling worthless or confused for their own gain.

You and I get how this works, but those who haven’t dealt with narcissists may not.

When you try to explain the harm of such a relationship, being locked up during their angry outbursts, finding high credit card bills from their overspending, it can overwhelm them.

They might not grasp it all.

That’s why I suggest being careful about who you share your story with as you heal. You don’t want to tire out your family, friends, or support system, especially those who have been there for you in difficult times.

Help and Healing with Care

These people are rare, so it’s important to be cautious with what you share. I’m not saying to keep things from them, I’m saying to be sensitive and understanding. If they’re feeling worn out, it’s a signal to take a step back.

That’s why we write, see therapists, meditate, watch videos, and read anything to protect ourselves on our healing journey, knowing others can get exhausted.

It’s happened to me, and I’m sure it’s happened to you too.

Another thing to remember, during your healing, others might suggest, “It’s been a year, shouldn’t you be over it by now? Why not start dating again or get your new hobbies maybe?”

Whether it’s been months, a year, or longer, no one should rush your healing process or push you into new relationships prematurely. This is crucial, and I hope you grasp the importance of what I’m sharing here.

Healing and Understanding Narcissistic Relationships

Most people haven’t experienced narcissistic abuse, that’s the majority of the world. They live in what I call the everyday fog, focused on appearances and thinking they have your best interests at heart.

They might say, “My friends moved on quickly, found love again, and got back to their hobbies.”

But healing after a narcissistic relationship doesn’t follow that same path.

If someone suggests otherwise, remember this: your healing depends on how much you work on yourself, process thoughts, reshape your experiences, and understand the cycle of abuse.

There were reasons you ended up in that narcissistic relationship.

It could be from your past, past relationships, your empathy, or believing in the goodness of others, It might be a mix of these and more.

Connecting Through Shared Experience

When you tell your story to someone who hasn’t been through what you have, no matter how much they’ve read or watched, they can’t fully grasp your journey. They might know all the facts from articles, books and videos, but true empathy comes from living it.

It’s not that they lack knowledge about narcissism.

It’s just that those of us who’ve come through it stronger, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, speak a different language.

We can understand each other’s feelings without needing to explain everything.

In our community, I often see relief when someone say, “I believe you. Share with me. This is a safe place.” I’ve been through it myself. Enduring that relentless cycle, feeling isolated even when surrounded, it’s something I intimately understand.

Putting Ourselves First for Empowerment

The narcissist intentionally drives a wedge between you and everything important in your life like your time, money, energy, love, relationships, health, self-esteem, and trust in others. When you’re trapped in this cycle, you feel isolated, unheard, without anyone stable to lean on.

This is the core of narcissistic abuse: designed to trap you, undermine your confidence, hinder your healing, and keep you tied to them.

Now, it’s crucial to prioritize ourselves, putting our needs first.

We’ve found our voice, breaking free from the trauma bond, and can share our insights with others who understand in safe spaces, though these are still rare.

Their numbers are growing as more in our community move past their past experiences with indifference toward the narcissist.

They’ve endured sleepless nights, physical changes, and invested in activities like writing and meditation.

Along the way, they unintentionally drained those around them like family, friends, coworkers, and community who couldn’t grasp their ordeal. As I mentioned before, explaining it to someone who hasn’t been through it is like speaking a different language, it doesn’t quite connect.

Understanding the Phases of Healing from Narcissistic Relationships

Everything I’m talking about is part of your healing journey. If your relationship recently ended, you’ll experience a wide range of emotions. It’ll be like a roller coaster, with ups, downs, and twists.

You’ll need to unpack a lot, practice accepting what happened, watch videos, write in a journal or article, pray or meditate, and ideally, talk to a therapist who understands what you’ve been through.

Two important steps are slowing down your life to process everything and figuring out who genuinely supports you.

Often, the narcissist won’t be on that list. Now you can see they didn’t really care about your well-being. You’ll assess your relationships with family, friends, coworkers, even your own children, to see who’s truly there for you.

This is how things typically unfold after dealing with a narcissistic relationship.

First, you come to understand what narcissism is all about. Second, you gain clarity on what really happened. Third, you realize explaining this to others who haven’t experienced it can be draining for them.

Finally, you acknowledge the isolation you feel during this healing process, it’s like being on what I call “The Healing Java Cave” a lonely journey that can leave you feeling overwhelmed and abandoned, much like being stranded on a desolate highway.

Reclaiming Strength and Identity After Narcissistic Abuse

When you’re hide on that lonely cave or feeling as crumpled as shredded paper on the freeway, the task ahead is gathering yourself back together. It means slowing down, processing everything, and realizing that although the narcissistic relationship almost brought you down, it didn’t succeed.

Here you are now, becoming stronger within this community.

You’ve taken important steps like cutting off contact, blocking the narcissist, and distancing yourself from their supporters.

If you haven’t done this yet, you’re probably preparing to do so, knowing your time and energy are too precious to waste. The narcissist tried hard to take everything from you during the relationship, and they might have succeeded for a while, but not anymore.

Why? Because now you understand your true value.

The narcissist saw your bright light and tried to dim it, keeping you trapped in their negative world.

They didn’t want you to surpass their expectations or find your true self and purpose. They isolated you or discarded you, whether you ended things or they did, the journey through healing from narcissistic abuse can feel incredibly isolating.

Even in the relationship, despite being physically close, you felt emotionally distant. They would ignore you for their phones or smirk mysteriously while texting others, playing games with your feelings.

They knew they were manipulating you and likely doing the same to others. It’s a tough reality, but as you continue on this path, you’re reclaiming your strength and identity.

Understanding the Endless Cycle of Narcissistic Relationships

Narcissistic relationships follow a predictable cycle that repeats endlessly. It begins with a phase of intense love and admiration, then shifts into a phase where you’re devalued and belittled, often lasting the longest.

Eventually, there’s a breakup or discard, followed by a potential Hoover, when the narcissist tries to pull you back into their life.

Remember, if you’re not familiar with a Hoover or have experienced one, never entertain it.

It’s the narcissist’s way of testing if you’re still vulnerable to their charm. They’ve had their chances during the relationship, now they deserve nothing from you like no contact, no attention, no space in your thoughts.

While you were with them, nothing you did seemed to satisfy them.

Narcissists are always searching for something better, whether it’s a new person or a way to boost their own status. This behavior isn’t new, it’s how they acted before, during, and after your relationship. They’re constantly comparing themselves to others and seeking validation.

Finding Strength in Shared Experience

Before I finish, remember this. Every narcissistic relationship eventually ends. It’s not just yours, it includes their new partners, past relationships, and everything in between.

You’re not alone in this experience.

Understand that explaining what you’ve been through might be hard for others to grasp. Lean on those of us who understand, we’ve been there and can guide you forward.

When I say “US” I mean those who’ve healed, accepted reality, and prioritized themselves.

This isn’t about rushing into dating again or denying the truth about narcissists.

We all once fell for their illusions, their false promises. But now we see through it. So, don’t overwhelm your support system.

Keep writing, meditating or praying, watching videos, and reading. You’ll get through this. Where you are today won’t be where you are in months from now.

Wrap it up

Where does the narcissist fit into all of this? They avoid healing by blaming others for everything. Instead of growing, they focus on manipulating others and finding new targets.

This cycle keeps them stuck in negativity and stops them from changing.

They thrive by draining others of their positivity, energy, and resources until those people break free and rebuild their lives.

That’s all for this article, guys. It’s been great sharing these thoughts with you. This is Ryan signing off. Remember, true change begins with a spark. I appreciate your support.

If you know someone struggling to understand your journey, feel free to share this article with them. It might give them insight and help them support you better.

Remember, those who listened, even if they felt overwhelmed, cared deeply. They might just need time to understand your experiences better.

Sharing this article could bridge that gap and provide the support you need as you move forward.

I hope you found my article informative and helpful.

Please let me know what you think, God bless you, Love you all, and take care!

Check out our publication about Narcissism if you want to learn more or join us to write: Me and Narcissism

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