Today, we’re talking about the power of staying silent and how it affects your energy. I often empahsize the strength in choosing silence. It’s crucial in your healing process to use this strength, to avoid harmful messages from narcissists or their supporters. This article shows how silence can refresh and energize you.

When we were in a relationship with a narcissist, we often felt silenced and unable to express our true thoughts and feelings. We ended up doing what the narcissist wanted, when and how they wanted it. Our lives were controlled, and we put the narcissist’s needs above our own, which hurt us.

At the time, we didn’t understand what narcissism was or how the cycle of narcissistic abuse worked.

We might have fallen in love with this person, or they could have been a family member, coworker, friend, or spouse. It could have been anyone. Then, something changed, and we had a moment of clarity, realizing that narcissism was affecting our lives.

Silence has a powerful effect on your energy.

It recharges and renews you. When you were in the relationship, you were constantly manipulated, gaslighted, stonewalled, triangulated, and subjected to smear campaigns and other toxic behaviors. Understanding this can help you see the healing power of silence.

How Silence Protects Your Energy and Power

All these things wore you down day after day, week after week, maybe even year after year. Eventually, something had to give, it had to snap, it had to break. You finally figured out what narcissism was and realized that being silenced in the relationship didn’t help you. You have a voice, and it’s meant to be used.

Your voice is as powerful as anyone’s, and definitely more powerful than the narcissist’s.

Back then, you gave too much. Maybe you were a people pleaser, always saying yes. Maybe you didn’t have boundaries and didn’t know your own worth.

Now, you’re getting wiser and learning a lot about yourself. You understand that you are important and powerful, and you won’t be silenced anymore.

Now, silence is very important for you.

When you shared your thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, and goals with the narcissist, they were just storing that information to use against you later. By staying silent, you protect yourself and keep your energy intact.

Recognizing Manipulative Comments, Reflecting on Past Sabotage

For example, imagine you wanted to graduate from schools or college. They probably did everything to make sure you didn’t succeed. Then, years later, they might casually say, “It’s too bad you never finished school or college. I really thought you could do it.” You might reply, “Yeah, things didn’t work out, but it’s okay.”

Back then, you didn’t realize their words. Maybe even from your own parents, were meant to hold you back. Now, you’re waking up to this truth. Instead of arguing, “I see who you really are, you never supported me.” like with your parents and college, you could say that if you want.

But now you have the wisdom not to get into it.

You can see from a distance that they never truly backed your college dreams or any goals, and they won’t now.

They won’t change, they won’t improve. If they didn’t back you before, don’t expect a sudden realization where they say sorry and decide to be better people.

Workplace Dynamics, How Narcissists Manipulate and Its Impact

It’s a pattern that won’t change, not now or ever, because at their core, narcissists thrive on taking and taking. Once they’ve taken enough, what do they want? More. But they also insist on silence from everyone around them.

Think about the flying monkeys, they have to obey or risk becoming the next target, kicked out of the group, or dragged into the smear campaign.

That’s why anyone close to a narcissist is always in danger of becoming the next victim, the next person they attack. This happens a lot.

Consider your job, you’ve been doing well for 3–7 years, everyone knows your value, and you’ve become indispensable. Then new bosses arrive, see how well you’re doing, and what happens?

The narcissist’s plan kicks in, they want to shut you up.

Suddenly, you’re not getting the best tasks or recognition. You think, “I used to be great here, now I’m stuck with the boring stuff. Why?” It’s on purpose, the new bosses are following the narcissist’s plan to reduce your influence and importance.

The Power of Silence, How it Refreshes You After Dealing with Narcissistic Abuse

Let’s look ahead to why your silence recharges you, what it does for you. Once you grasp the narcissistic abuse cycle, you see how your silence becomes a strength. Maybe in the past, you sought closure from the narcissist after the relationship ended.

But they can’t and won’t give closure because facing their own mistakes is too painful.

The cycle goes on as you wait for closure, endure reactive abuse, and keep giving until something breaks or the narcissist moves on to a new target.

But your silence is where your power lies, it rejuvenates you after the relationship ends. Now, you’ve slowed down.

You no longer feel the need to explain or defend yourself to anyone, not even the narcissist or those around you.

People must earn your attention and respect, they can’t take it for granted anymore. You’ve stopped bending over backward for others, you don’t have to prove yourself anymore.

Gaining Clarity, Recognizing Signs of Toxicity After Healing

Imagine you recently took a trip, maybe exploring different places worldwide or visiting a new city, town, or country. Now that you’ve healed, you’ve reached a place of complete indifference, or you’re close to it.

You’ve processed much of what happened in the narcissistic relationship.

As you step back into the world, think about hobbies or exercise. Engaging in these activities now lets you easily see people who overshare or show toxicity.

You notice how empaths give their energy away, sometimes to narcissists, and you pick up on the subtle differences in people.

When you were in the relationship, this clarity wasn’t there.

You were stuck in the devaluation stage, deeply affected by the narcissistic fog. You gave a lot, worked hard for the relationship, but felt ignored.

Maybe your home felt taken over, they cluttered the kitchen or dining room tables with their stuff or occupied spaces like the TV room or exercise area.

Taking Back Control, Regaining Freedom After Narcissistic Relationships

In narcissistic relationships, these things happen a lot. You lose not just who you are, but everything that makes up your life like your time, money, energy, love, empathy, social standing, friends, and connections. The narcissist tries to take everything from you.

But one thing they can’t take away after the relationship ends is your ability to stay quiet.

Now that you know better, giving your energy to energy vampires, narcissists, or nosy people who pry into your life after the narcissistic relationship doesn’t help you.

What does help is doing what you want, when you want, and with whom you choose.

You no longer go out of your way for others just because they ask.

Remember those days in the narcissistic relationship? You did everything they wanted like running errands, paying bills, always being available, waiting around, chauffeuring them, even throwing extravagant welcomes at the airport as if they returned from a decade abroad, when really it was just a short trip across the state.

Finding Your Peace, Me Time and Setting Boundaries

Some of us have been through these experiences, and others are still going through them because they haven’t yet found the insight. But you have, you’ve discovered it and are now equipping yourself with all the necessary tools.

You now see the presence of energy vampires around you.

However, your silence and how it affects your energy allow you to reclaim yourself. It helps you move through life at your own pace after dealing with the narcissistic relationship.

During times of me time and setting boundaries, you might not feel like socializing or interacting with others.

People you confide in may struggle to fully understand what you’ve been through, the ups and downs of dealing with narcissism, changes in your weight, and shifts in your mental state since the relationship ended.

Ending that relationship was extremely difficult, and healing is a crucial journey.

In this period of setting boundaries and me time, as I discussed in an article before, silence with yourself marks the beginning of real healing.

There will be tough days and emotional evenings. Moments of clarity will come while watching videos, writing in your journal, or reading informative articles.

Triggers can include a familiar song you used to listen to or sing with them, a perfume they wore, a dish you cooked for them, a commercial, or a movie you watched together that brings back memories of the narcissistic relationship. These are all important steps toward healing, each of us must face these challenges to understand our strengths and weaknesses.

Setting Boundaries and Choosing Trustworthy Connections

We all have weaknesses that we need to address. For example, have you cut off contact and blocked the narcissist? If so, I hope you’ve stuck to that boundary without playing games of blocking and unblocking.

If you’re finding it difficult, that’s okay. Focus on getting stronger each day, keep distancing yourself from the pull of the narcissistic relationship or the narcissist.

Resist any attempts to draw you back in, and remember that staying silent about your personal life is crucial and don’t share details with the narcissist.

This applies to everyone in your life.

If you decide to share information, especially with family members who may not have your best interests at heart, be careful. Remember, people gossip, and not everyone is honest. Narcissists often spread lies about others, so be cautious about what you reveal.

I’m not suggesting you should isolate yourself. On the contrary, once you’ve healed, feel free to talk with trustworthy individuals who care about you.

Avoid narcissists and anyone connected to them or who drains your energy.

After recovering from the impact of the narcissistic relationship, though that’s a topic for another time. Focus on filling your life, with activities and interests that bring happiness and fulfillment.

It’s Time to Finding Strength and Empowerment After Narcissistic Abuse

Maybe now you’re in a cocoon of boundaries. It’s a time when you realize how tough that relationship was. You’re out of it now, growing stronger each day, even if it feels slow.

As you distance yourself from the narcissist and that relationship, clarity begins to come.

You start seeing things clearly. Eventually, you think, “I’m so glad to be out of that relationship. I wish I hadn’t gone through it, but there was no other way. It wasn’t random, it was a necessary journey that brought me here, approaching the best version of myself.”

All these experiences lead to one realization, you’re becoming aware, enlightened, and empowered.

You’re forever changed, now you know your silence is powerful. Overcoming narcissistic abuse shows your strength, it’s not easy to measure but you’ve achieved something you didn’t know you could.

You’ve faced challenges you never imagined.

So now, after healing, your silence speaks loudly. It empowers and refreshes you. It lets you be yourself, live your way, and choose who to be with.

These were things you couldn’t do in the narcissistic relationship.

Remember the gaslighting, walking on eggshells, and giving too much. You were controlled and manipulated, always meeting demands. Even when you gave your all, it was never enough because the narcissist never recognized your efforts.

Engaging in Social Interactions, Observing Without Over-Sharing

The narcissist saw you as someone who always apologized, an unpaid helper, someone they could talk to, and a target for their temper tantrums. They seek people who believe their lies, who they can control, use, and make believe in them.

You might have been in that role once, but that’s not who you are now.

Now, you can observe. Imagine you’re at a cafe this weekend, having healed from that relationship.

As you watch people interact, you can see how they communicate. You might notice someone who seems difficult or who understands what you’ve been through.

If you talk to them, you might see if they’ve faced similar challenges by looking at their eyes.

They might also notice that you understand them, seeing how calm you are and how you watch things.

I’m not saying you should avoid people. Instead, I’m saying you shouldn’t share too much. Remember, not everyone you meet wants what’s best for you, some might be jealous.

And most people might not understand how much you’ve been through, so there’s no point in explaining it. Knowing this is important, but it’s better for another article series.

Finding Strength in Silence, Taking back Yourself After Narcissistic Relationships

Before I conclude this article, I want to highlight how your silence can recharge your energy and help you find yourself again after ending a relationship with a narcissist.

Trying to explain or defend yourself to a narcissist during the relationship often felt pointless.

It’s only after realizing that the narcissist never truly cared about our well-being, only about themselves, that we understand how we were manipulated and used. We were open and vulnerable, giving everything to keep the relationship going.

In contrast, a healthy and stable person might reciprocate this openness, though I can’t say for sure.

What’s clear is that a healthy person doesn’t use shared information against you, spread lies, or try to harm your relationships with loved ones, colleagues, or friends.

Narcissists, driven by envy and jealousy, move from person to person, leaving chaos in their wake. They believe they are beyond understanding, but you’ve proven them wrong, you stand strong today.

Choosing Silence, Preserving Energy and Personal Boundaries

Now, your silence is not just a strength but also helps you stay energized. It lets you preserve your energy and choose carefully when sharing information about your past, current situation, or future plans.

This journey belongs to you, as it does to me.

Many of us had to spend a long time discovering ourselves, losing our way before finding our true selves.

Most people don’t go through this, they simply go about their lives in a daily routine. That’s where I found myself for a long time, and perhaps you did too.

Then, a narcissistic relationship came into your life, throwing you into a whirlwind of emotions.

Suddenly, you were sharing too much, only to be silenced once the narcissist knew enough about you. You were manipulated, deceived, and trapped. Eventually, the relationship ended, and you had to rebuild yourself and start a journey of healing.

Wrap it up

The narcissist has vanished into the night, seeking new targets to manipulate without regard for others. They leave a trail of broken hearts, shattered relationships, and turmoil within families, including their own children’s lives.

But now, we’ve become wise to their tactics.

We understand their methods, the predictable patterns they follow, and how to shield ourselves from their harm. Choosing silence now speaks volumes not only to the narcissist but also to everyone we encounter in the future.

There’s a significant difference between being silenced by the narcissist during the relationship and harnessing our silence as a source of strength afterward.

Your silence revitalizes your energy, restores your sense of wholeness, and supports your path to healing. It may take time, but once you discover inner peace, your life transforms permanently.

You’ll no longer fall into traps, tolerate mistreatment, or keep toxic individuals in your life. You’ve taken proactive steps like cutting off contact and establishing boundaries.

Now, you can discern people’s true intentions clearly because you’re no longer in the dark. You’ve gained insight into the narcissistic cycle, something many people never comprehend.

It’s been a pleasure writing this for you. This is Ryan, and remember, you’re not alone.

I hope you found my article informative and helpful.

Please let me know what you think, God bless you, Love you all, and take care!

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