The turning point for the narcissist’s downfall is a critical moment. Thinking back on your time in a relationship with them, you might remember how they behaved strangely and said things that were completely new to you.
When you were in that relationship, you faced unexpected situations. These were early signs revealing the narcissist’s struggle to control themselves. Narcissists rely on others, manipulating and using them for their own gain because they can’t handle being alone.
They’re always busy, glued to their smartphones.
Think back to when you didn’t know about narcissism, rage fits, manipulation tactics like triangulation or gaslighting, or smear campaigns.
Learning terms like radical acceptance is crucial for healing after a narcissistic relationship. Remember, the problems you dealt with weren’t yours, they were the narcissist’s issues that they put on you.
Rebuilding After Leaving a Narcissistic Relationship
As narcissists grow older, their lives often take unexpected turns. If you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist that ended, whether you were left or had to leave, it’s been tough.
If you were left, I’m sorry you went through that. If you had to plan your way out, I’ll be discussing that in an article this week. Either way, you likely felt the burden of the relationship alone, while the narcissist did little to contribute.
They observed as your life unraveled, causing emotional, financial, and other forms of distress.
All those hurtful actions came from one person, the narcissist. They’re good at manipulating and know what they’re doing. If anyone doubts this, they’re wrong.
Narcissists live like everyone else but often choose what benefits them rather than what’s good.
After you left, the narcissist probably found someone new, thinking they’d find happiness elsewhere.
They sought someone to improve their life, often ending up with another narcissist or someone toxic. These new partners are rarely kind-hearted, they might be caught in a cycle of abuse, believing the narcissist’s lies.
Seeing Through the Narcissist’s Mask and Healing
We now know that narcissists often pretend to be someone they’re not to manipulate trusting and unsuspecting people into putting them first. They thrive on attention and use others’ sacrifices to boost themselves, even if it means you lose your true self in the process.
You become their constant apologizer, a listener, and an unpaid helper, meeting their every demand.
But in doing so, you lose sight of who you really are. It’s only after the relationship ends and you heal that you start to find yourself again.
As I’m explaining here, things change for narcissists over time. Their fake persona eventually crumbles, especially after the relationship with you ends.
They struggle to maintain the image they projected during the relationship.
When this false front collapses, it’s not a pleasant sight. The narcissist often can’t believe the fallout from their bad choices, like ending their relationship with you.
Throughout their life, they collect people’s love, dreams, and hopes, thinking their true self remains hidden and believing their ex-partners won’t recover.
But that’s not your story. You’ve seen through the narcissist’s facade and now, whether you’ve healed or are on your journey to healing, you’re moving towards feeling indifferent.
When things go wrong for the narcissist, their disbelief is clear.
They might miss out on job promotions, lose expected inheritance due to family dynamics, or struggle with aging despite cosmetic efforts. These realities remind them of their own mortality and the consequences of their actions.
Recognizing Patterns and Building Empathic Resilience
The narcissist always avoids facing their true self. They run away from people, their own identity, and even acknowledging their existence. This ongoing evasion shapes every narcissistic relationship, which eventually comes to an end.
Eventually, even the narcissist must confront the crumbling of their false front.
As time passes, society becomes more aware, educated, and empowered. People are less willing to tolerate the harmful behavior of narcissists.
This awareness spreads, emphasizing everyone’s value and self-worth.
For empaths specifically, many might not have understood empathy for a long time. Personally, I’ve known I was empathetic since I was a child, assuming others felt the same way.
But that’s not always true. When a narcissist meets an empath, they sense their empathetic nature. They check if the empath is willing to please, agree easily, set boundaries, or see through their facade. Can they manipulate and discard them when they’re no longer useful or find someone else?
These are the patterns narcissists follow, wanting control in every relationship they’re in or leave.
That’s why I often say that if a narcissist tries to reconnect, whether with a simple “hi,” a surprise visit, or any unexpected contact, they’re trying to regain power. They’re so desperate that they might disrupt your healing journey just to reaffirm their control over you.
The Narcissist’s Quest for Admiration and Control in Relationships
The narcissist can sense when people start to see through their fake personality. This often makes them look for someone new who will admire them.
But this plan can fail if the new person has strong boundaries or knows the narcissist’s games.
In those cases, the narcissist might end up being rejected instead. If the potential admirer feels something is wrong and pulls away, the narcissist is left without their new target.
Finding a new person to admire them might not be as quick as it used to be for the narcissist.
It could take much longer than they are used to. To keep control and get attention, they might make fake profiles on social media to keep an eye on old admirers or attract new ones.
As time passes, things start to fall apart for the narcissist.
They get older and their health and looks decline, just like for everyone else. They struggle to accept how they look now compared to when they were younger.
They might dye their hair or dress in younger styles to try to look like they used to and get new people to admire them.
It’s important to understand that while others also try to look good, narcissists do this to get approval from others, through how they dress and who they know, to feel good about themselves.
Healing from Narcissistic Parents
As kids of narcissistic parents grow up, many who haven’t turned into narcissists themselves get tired. They’ve given their parents many chances to change, but they get worn out and decide to stop talking to them.
Some even move away to get away from the bad situation.
The narcissistic parent tries to make their adult child feel guilty for not staying in touch, saying things like “I brought you into this world” but the adult child realizes they can’t keep going like this.
They’ve spent years supporting their parent, only to face more demands and guilt trips.
Things fall apart for narcissists eventually. But this isn’t about wanting bad things for anyone. We’ve all had big problems when we’ve ended relationships with narcissists.
It’s often a painful journey that might make us feel very alone. You might have felt trapped, physically or emotionally, needing time to heal. Getting better isn’t fast or easy, it takes time and patience. But there are resources out there to help you heal.
Just remember, where you are now won’t be where you are in a few months or a year. You can heal if you use the tools and support available to you.
I. Reclaiming Your Energy and Setting Boundaries
Keep moving forward every day, knowing that the narcissist’s life may already be falling apart or will do so eventually. I want to emphasize again that wishing harm on anyone, including narcissists, isn’t helpful.
It’s best not to focus on them, their new relationships, or any drama.
Once you gain wisdom, use the tools, and go no contact, blocking, deleting, and cutting off all ties with their flying monkeys, you reclaim your energy for yourself.
Narcissists often face consequences because of their behavior.
They always go too far. They think they’re the smartest person in the room and that no one will see through their actions.
They believe they can easily move on to someone new and manipulate them into doing what they want.
But this plan usually fails. For example, in divorces involving narcissists, they might refuse to cooperate to drag things out and cause frustration, or because they think they’re above the rules.
Narcissists often think they won’t face consequences, a belief shaped by their upbringing where their bad behavior went unpunished.
This cycle continues because they didn’t learn that rules apply to everyone, taught by those who raised them. Change takes time to happen, even when the cycle is challenged.
II. Reclaiming Your Energy and Setting Boundaries
In the meantime, it’s important to distance yourself from these toxic relationships. Remember, your time, energy, and self-worth are precious. You were involved in that narcissistic relationship for a while, but as I mentioned earlier, such relationships always come to an end.
You’ve come out of that experience like finding a rare treasure in a haystack.
You’ve healed and rebuilt yourself. You’re learning, growing, and maybe even helping others learn. You’re gaining new perspectives on life.
Nowadays, you might be taking classes, teaching others, reading or writing books, or exploring new places.
Your health and finances have improved. You might have found love again or made new friends. Maybe you’ve moved and started fresh.
Meanwhile, what is the narcissist doing? They’re looking for their next victim, someone who doesn’t know about narcissism, someone who will believe their false image.
As narcissists get older, their mask starts to slip because they can’t maintain relationships like they used to.
These individuals can be bitter because they believe they deserve everything. If they’re still in contact with their family, they expect to be taken care of. They cling to past relationships, longing to still be able to manipulate others effortlessly.
How People Respond Differently to Challenges
Those days are long gone now. When things go wrong for the narcissist, it’s a big hit to their ego. I don’t usually use that term much here, maybe this is only the second or third time I’ve mentioned it.
But this is what happens to narcissists when their carefully made plans fall apart.
They struggle to understand that life doesn’t always go the way they’ve planned in their narrow view. But life surprises all of us.
If you’ve read this far, you’ve witnessed how things can go wrong in a narcissistic relationship.
But here’s what sets you apart from the narcissist: you’ve looked within yourself. You’ve taken responsibility. You’ve reflected on what happened, recognized the manipulation, and established boundaries.
When the narcissist sees their world crumble, they lack these abilities.
Instead, they strategize and plot to manipulate others or reconnect with people they haven’t spoken to in years.
Narcissists often try again with old relationships. They don’t just want approval from romantic partners, they want it from everything like pets, possessions, money, emails, or chance meetings.
They’ll get what they want from anything: ruining events, missing important times, or even coming unexpectedly to serious events like funerals. There are so many ways for narcissists to get approval.
Seeing Through Narcissistic Deception, Empowering Yourself
Remember, you’re no longer a pawn for them. As I’ve said in many articles, you’re a bright, beautiful person. You’re not like a product or a tool they used during your time together.
That’s not how I see you, and it’s not how you should see yourself.
We’re strong, lively individuals that narcissists tried to put down, but they couldn’t and never will, because now you’re healing and realizing your true value.
Before I finish, let’s talk about social media.
When you were with the narcissist, they probably filled their profiles with perfect images like cute pets, happy scenes, selfies showing an ideal life, trips they went on or didn’t.
They wanted to show everyone, maybe even themselves, that they were living their best life.
But we know now it was all fake, just a show to deceive. They weren’t happy then, they’re not happy now, and they won’t be in the future.
Narcissists are fake and empty. They’re like a filter on social media, pretending to be something they’re not. Behind that mask, there’s nothing real, just emptiness.
Wrap it up
This is how it goes for narcissists. Sooner or later, their fake persona falls apart. No matter how many filters they use on their photos, reality catches up with them.
People start to see through their lies and slowly pull away.
Eventually, the narcissist ends up alone, facing the consequences of their actions. If they haven’t faced these consequences yet, they will eventually.
Using and manipulating others always has a cost, even in the eyes of a higher power.
You might not see or hear about these consequences, and that’s a good thing. What matters is that you’ve freed yourself from the relationship, you’re healing or already healed, and you’ve become stronger.
Meanwhile, the narcissist stays the same.
They can’t change or grow, their only talent is manipulating people, moving from one target to the next. But eventually, their sources of support run dry, leaving them desperate and alone, seeking validation even late at night on their phone until the battery dies.
That’s the destiny for narcissists. Sooner or later, their carefully crafted world falls apart.
To everyone reading this, I hope this makes sense. It’s been enlightening to share these thoughts with you, This is Ryan signing off. Remember, you’re never alone.
Where you are today won’t be where you are in weeks, months, or years. Keep moving forward every day.
Believe in yourself because I believe in you more than you know. You’re a wonderful person who deserves a life free from narcissism, drama, chaos, abuse, and manipulation.
I appreciate each one of you 💙
I hope you found my article informative and helpful.
Please let me know what you think, God bless you, Love you all, and take care!
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