In real freedom, it’s okay if people don’t like you. You’re free from caring about what others think. Being yourself shines brightly, making you more lively and open. This attracts others to you naturally.

True freedom isn’t just about being okay with people dislike you, it’s about fully accepting it. When you’re truly yourself and don’t worry about what others think, you naturally push away those who don’t connect with the real you. 

But here’s the thing: when you embrace even your quirkiest traits, you become more interesting. 

Some people might not get you, but others will be drawn to you like a magnet. 

Imagine the stronger the magnet, the more it pulls in what truly matches it, while also pushing away what doesn’t. So, being magnetic isn’t about trying to fit in but it’s about confidently being yourself.

Tasks and Recognition in Adlerian Psychology: What They Mean for You

A big lesson I’ve learned lately is from a book called “The Courage of Being Disliked,” which talks about Alfred Adlerian Psychology by Alfred Adler, a big name in psychology. 

The idea of tasks and separating them has really changed things for me. 

It connects well with what I teach about knowing yourself and growing as a person. We all have things we’re responsible for, like deciding who we are and how we treat others. 

These tasks shape how we see ourselves and how we relate to others.

You don’t have to worry about how others feel about you or solve their problems. But sometimes, if you set boundaries and someone feels upset, you might feel like you have to make them feel better. 

That’s not your job. In Adlerian psychology, it’s important to understand this. Wanting recognition from others means asking them to meet our needs.

The Burden of Seeking Validation and Approval

Imagine if instead of carrying around a little report card, we all had an invisible stamp of approval. We’d go around like kids, desperately hoping someone would give us a gold star of approval. 

“Do you like me? Will you say I’m good enough?” we’d ask, wanting to feel accepted. 

But in doing this, we give away our power. 

We rely on others to make us feel worthy, burdening them with the job of meeting our needs. 

We keep asking, “Can you make me feel important? Can you make me feel valued?” 

This puts a lot of pressure on them and takes away our own control.

Imagine life as a game we’ve played since we were little: “Am I okay?” It’s a question we often ask without even realizing it. As kids, if we didn’t get the love and care we needed, we settled for approval instead. 

But here’s the thing — approval is like a not-so-great version of love. So, we start thinking, “What do I need to do to be loved?” And just like that, we lose our freedom. 

We get tied to everyone we meet, always wondering, “Am I okay? How can I make them like me?” 

We might end up being the good kid, the quiet one, always trying to please. 

But in doing that, we forget who we really are. We give up our true selves just to make others happy.

Being True to Yourself: Accepting Your Dark Side and Ignoring What Others Think

To be free means understanding why you give up on yourself to please others. When you chase approval instead of real love, what scares you? What do you worry others will think? 

In my childhood, I learned to accept myself. 

I’m naturally intense and focused, even in my Instagram. But I used to hide this side of me. I felt ashamed because my ex was controlling and angry. I didn’t want to be like her, so I kept my intensity hidden.

I never want to act like that. Trying to be a good person felt fake because I was only being nice to please others or avoid fights. So, I accepted my darker side. 

Sometimes, I joke about fighting at the gym, but I’m just being myself. It’s fine if some people don’t see me as nice. 

Being real matters more than being seen as nice. 

True freedom is knowing I don’t need others’ approval or to fix them. Problems in relationships happen when we take on tasks that aren’t our own. According to Alfred Adlerian psychology, it’s about sticking to our own responsibilities.

Facing Discomfort, Being True to Yourself and Being Okay with Disapproval

Basically, you’re scared of feeling ashamed. Shame makes you think you’re not okay, so you hide who you really are. But when you show your true self, magic start to happens, people like you more. 

I remember when I started being honest about who I am, even the parts I used to hide. Sometimes, I had to tell certain people to back off to keep things fair. 

At first, I worried they’d think I was bad, but then I realized it wasn’t my job to make them happy. 

Being real earned me their respect. So, being yourself gets you both respect and acceptance.

I’m not saying it’s good to be disliked like a mean person. 

But what if being disliked meant you’re being true to yourself? Instead of being scared of it, what if you were okay with it? 

We usually avoid rejection because it feels bad. But think about those people at the cosmetic store who got rejected every day. 

They didn’t take it personally. They just kept going. 

When you’re yourself, you might worry what others think, but you don’t have to let it bother you. It’s scary to face those feelings, but accepting them can make them go away. Then you realize you’re the one in charge.

Dealing with Feedback, Learning and How Not Worrying About What Others Think

I used to feel scared to talk about deep stuff in my articles. But when I did, something great happened. Even though I was scared, those articles did really well and people liked them. 

It’s like feeling scared means you’re about to learn and grow. 

Since I started writing, I’ve seen that as I reach more people, some like what I do and some don’t.

Imagine if I kept worrying about people who don’t like me. I’d feel trapped, letting their opinions decide who I am. 

But I’ve learned that as I grow, I’ll get both good and bad feedback. So, I don’t let either praise or criticism shape me.

When people recognize me from my articles, I don’t act all important. I don’t say, “Yes, I’m Ryan, the best writer. Aren’t I great?” That’s not me. 

Some people like being noticed, but I’m not like that. At first, I thought it would be cool to be recognized and feel special. 

But now I just see it as a nice nod. Even when I get nice comments on my articles, I don’t let them make me feel too good about myself. I know I’m not suddenly better just because I helped someone. 

And when I see a mean comment, I don’t take it personally. I know it’s not really about me, it’s more about the person writing it. They’re probably dealing with their own issues and taking it out on others.

Being Neutral, Not Needing Approval and Believing in Yourself

Nice comments on my articles usually come from people who feel better after reading. But I know they’re the ones making the changes in their lives. 

I just see myself like a mirror, so I don’t get too caught up in the good or bad feedback. It helps me feel free.

Here’s another way to think about, when someone likes you. It feels good and makes you feel worthy. But if they suddenly stop, it can make you feel powerless. 

On the other hand, some people brag about having only a few friends because they think they’re so likable. 

But the truth is, not everyone will like you. 

Once I met a girl who clearly didn’t like me. Maybe she didn’t like what I write about, or maybe there was just something about me she didn’t like. 

At first, I couldn’t understand why. We both write articles, so why the dislike? I kept asking myself. Doesn’t she know I mean well and just want to help? But eventually, I realized it doesn’t matter. 

Not everyone has to like me, and that’s perfectly fine.

It was an important lesson for me. Why should I expect everyone to like me? I learned that it’s okay if someone doesn’t like me because I like myself. 

It felt freeing, I asked myself why I cared so much about being liked. 

What if it’s fine if someone doesn’t like me? What if I accept that not everyone will, and that’s okay? This change in how I see things has been empowering. It’s okay if not everyone likes me.

Wrap it up

I won’t make them like or get me. Maybe some of my old articles didn’t click with them. Maybe some titles seemed cringy. But really, who cares? It feels great to be fine with people not liking me, even if they really don’t.

I won’t worry about why they don’t like me. It’s freeing to know not everyone will, and that’s totally okay.

Realizing I didn’t need others’ approval made me feel really free. I like myself, and if they don’t, it’s okay, I don’t have to please them. 

So, think about how you feel about yourself. That’s what’s important. 

Your job isn’t to make others like or approve of you. Don’t waste your energy on that. Instead, accept that not everyone will like you. It’s freeing when you can do that.

Many of us find this challenging because of habits we learned as kids, trying to make everyone happy. 

But feeling tension isn’t always bad. It’s okay to be disliked, it’s like feeling a bit tense. 

If you can handle that feeling and embrace it, you’ll become stronger. Sometimes, we think we need to control how others feel, but that’s not true.

Thanks for reading! Please take a moment to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Don’t forget to share if you found it informative ❤

---

You can support by buy me coffee on the link here or Image below!
your support means the world to me. Thank you for being a part of this journey, and I look forward to sharing more stories with you in the future!