You take on other people’s feelings because you think you’re responsible for them. This habit probably started in your childhood when you had to be in tune with your parents’ emotions.

It felt like a link, like how people who are good at understanding others feel. They have strong gut feelings and can easily sense how others are feeling.

This ability to tune in is like a natural survival tool. 

It helps us figure out if we’re safe and how to act to feel comfortable. 

Empathic people, who have trouble setting limits and feeling steady, might find it hard because they pay a lot of attention to basic instincts, like the root, sacral, and solar plexus.

If you didn’t feel safe when you were young, you might have focused more on understanding your parents and family. 

This change, where you pay attention to others’ feelings to stay safe, might have helped you survive back then, and it could still help some people now.

Learning about Empathy and Setting Boundaries, Exploring How Empaths and Narcissists Interact

Many of us can feel how others are feeling, but some can do this better than others. Narcissists, for example, usually aren’t good at understanding or caring about how others feel. 

However, they might still notice these feelings, not because they care, but because they want to control situations. 

It’s not that they can’t feel these things, but they just don’t think it’s important to care about others’ feelings.

It’s crucial to understand that what kept you safe as a child might now be stopping you from moving forward and bringing certain people into your life to teach you something. 

Empaths often draw narcissists because there’s a lesson to be learned from these relationships. 

Dealing with these situations constantly challenges your limits because the other person doesn’t have any. 

By focusing more on others than your own instincts, you’ve broadened your responsibility to include everyone, making boundaries less clear.

People who test your limits often enter your life, making you rethink your boundaries. 

You might feel tempted to please others, but I’ve learned to let them handle their own problems. 

If you set boundaries and someone disagrees, that’s their issue, not yours. Others may use guilt to control you because they’re used to you always accommodating them and relieving their stress.

Understanding Manipulation in Relationships, Recognizing Guilt and Setting Boundaries

When you stop calming them down, they might use guilt to pull you back. They’ll say stuff like, “Haven’t you always helped me? Why are you acting different now? I’m family, I’m your friend, we’ve known each other forever.” 

It’s usual for people to resist when you set limits and look after yourself. 

The big lesson is to stick to your boundaries and not take on their problems again. Be ready for some tough times ahead.

I’ve seen this happen with friends, even recently. 

They’ve lived together for ages, but one of them is forcing the other to stay, even though it’s a bad situation. It’s like the other friend doesn’t know they can leave. 

They keep saying, “I can’t,” when asked why. They feel obligated because of a promise they made to stick together and move to a new place.

The other person is being difficult and has many problems that haven’t been solved yet. 

This is causing trouble for everyone. Guilt is being used to make them stay in this bad situation. 

They need to learn to take control and focus on what’s best for them. When they say, “I can’t,” they really mean, “I think I’m responsible for everything — his feelings, his issues, and more.”

Dealing with Family to Setting Limits and Letting Go of Guilt

It’s interesting to look at the dynamics in my family. As the most successful member, I often feel like I need to help certain family members who are struggling. But I’ve realized I don’t have to fix everything. Guilt often makes me feel like I should do more. 

Some family members had tough childhoods without proper parental support, so I’ve taken on the role of looking after them.

I’ve noticed that helping certain family members too much is holding them back. It’s tough for me, and I’ve had to set clear limits to stop feeling guilty. 

People expect me to solve all their problems because I have money, which seems unfair. What’s funny is, I see others in my family facing similar challenges. 

It’s like we’re all trying to change old habits in our family.

We’re often attracted to certain family members for a purpose. Maybe deep down, we pick them to teach us important lessons. But it’s important not to let guilt push us into doing everything others want. 

Real love sometimes means giving them what they need, even if it’s not what they ask for. That could mean taking a step back and saving our energy instead of always saying yes.

Empowering Others Through Boundaries tp Teaching Lessons and Encouraging Self-Responsibility

I used to think I was doing good by always helping my family and others financially. But now I see it stops them from learning important lessons. It’s like teaching someone to fish instead of just giving them fish. 

If you keep giving, they never learn to stand on their own. 

Even if they push back, it’s important for them to learn to take care of themselves and be responsible.

Sometimes, the best way to teach someone is to show them how their actions affect others. When you feel empathy and take on responsibility for others’ problems, remember that those problems are theirs, not yours. 

You’re not responsible for controlling their feelings.

When you tell someone your limits and they get upset, pay attention to how you react. 

If you blame yourself and feel connected to their anger, you’ll absorb their negativity. But if you just watch and realize it’s their problem, you won’t feel as upset about it.

Dealing with Feelings, Staying Calm and Avoiding Overreacting

In my family, there are times when drama comes up again and again. I notice when I start feeling like it’s all my responsibility, I get stressed out and really involved. 

But when I take a step back and just watch, I see I can actually help out better that way.

When I got certified in breathwork, I learned how to help people release energy through breathing. 

One key thing I learned was to stay calm. When people are breathing and letting out emotions, it’s best not to get emotional yourself. Instead of rushing to comfort someone who’s upset, it’s better to be there for them without getting too involved. 

This helps them feel safe and heard. It’s all about making their feelings seem normal, without letting them overwhelm you.

It’s like using a metaphor to understand this idea. You can recognize the problems someone else has while staying calm yourself. 

If they feel resistant, they might project that onto you, but you’ll handle it calmly.

Let me tell you about something that happened with my friend. They used to go to therapy sessions. Whenever my friend got there first, my friend’s gf would arrive later, yelling and making a scene. 

It made my friend feel embarrassed, and he’d wonder if he was doing something wrong. He’d try to fix things, but it kept getting worse, leaving him feeling really embarrassed. This all happened a long time ago.

Setting Strong Boundaries, Being Present and Mirroring Energy

I remember telling him, “Try this: don’t react emotionally.” A week later, he called me excitedly. “Guess what?” he said. “What?” I asked. “I went to the session, she came in, yelling and making a scene, and I just sat there, ignoring her.” 

Because he didn’t react, she kept going for a bit, then left because he didn’t respond.

It’s important to respond to the energy, but not by ignoring what’s happening. Instead, be aware and observe without reacting right away. This helps their energy bounce back to them, showing that it’s their problem to deal with, not yours. 

They might not like it, but they need to handle their own emotions.

Healing and staying true to yourself is about feeling secure within by knowing the difference between you and others. 

This is super important for empaths because they tend to think of everyone else as part of themselves. They need to learn to separate themselves from others instead of seeing everyone as part of them.

Discovering Your Strength, Knowing Who You Are and Setting Limits

You should spend more time getting to know yourself. Who are you? What do you stand for? Where do you draw the line? What’s yours, and what’s not? As a kid, you probably thought everything around you was part of you, feeling responsible for it all and not seeing beyond yourself.

As time goes on, if you tell someone something and they get tense, you might start feeling tense too. 

You think you have to deal with their tension. But a good thing about this journey is realizing the difference between you and them.

Remember, their problems are theirs, not yours. 

“Keep this in mind, it’s their stuff, not mine.” When you understand this boundary and feel the difference between yourself and others, you have more control over your life. 

Interestingly, the more you stay true to yourself and focused on your own body, the more appealing you become. 

When you try to control or fix others, you waste your energy and lose your strength. But when you invest that energy in yourself, you become more attractive and powerful.

Regaining Your Energy, Learning About Self-Abandonment and Building Inner Confidence

Remember, as a way to survive, you might have started caring more about others than yourself, using up all your energy. It’s important to take it back and feel safe in your own world by knowing the difference between you and others. 

Without this, you’ll keep ignoring your own needs to help others.

The main thing is to stop ignoring your own needs. But it’s tough to suggest that if you see everyone else as yourself. 

Does that make sense? If you think others are just like you, it’s hard to see how you’re not paying attention to them. 

But the reality is, by shouldering everyone else’s burdens, you’ve already ignored your own happiness to make them happy.

The key to this process is getting your energy back and feeling safe within yourself. 

The main thing is getting back your energy and feeling safe inside yourself. One thing that really helps me is doing Islamic prayers. It’s about finding comfort and guidance from Allah. 

This connection with faith can heal emotional hurts from the past, like not getting enough love as a baby. 

But it’s also good to try other things, like meditation or anything else that feels right to you. The important thing is finding what helps you heal best.

Healing Past Hurts, Accepting Shame and Finding Self-Value

Understanding that healing our bond with our mother and accepting her love is essential for personal growth. This helps us avoid neglecting ourselves to satisfy others.

As you explore further, you’ll also tap into your inner child’s feelings. 

Imagine a part of yourself as a child who thinks they’re responsible for others but doesn’t get the attention, comfort, listening, or care they need. 

So, this inner child puts aside their own needs to calm things at home. This leaves you feeling ashamed, broken, and thinking there’s something wrong with you.

When you try to avoid feeling ashamed, you end up ignoring your own needs to please others, thinking it’s the only way to hide your flaws. 

But if you accept that shame, it loses its hold over you. 

Then you’ll realize you can be yourself and feel safe in your own world, knowing the difference between yourself and others.

Understanding Responsibility and Overcoming Shame, Embracing Vulnerability for Healing

A big part of this journey is figuring out what’s your job and what’s not. Feeling flawed or broken can make you neglect yourself to make others happy. But you don’t have to carry their problems.

As adults, we get it now. When we were kids, if Mom or Dad weren’t around for us emotionally or physically, it wasn’t necessarily our fault. 

They could’ve been stressed about work or had problems in their relationship, but we used to think it was about us. 

We took on their stress as if it were our own.

We often blame ourselves, believing everything is our fault. But healing requires us to stop taking everything personally and be brave enough to let go of that shame. 

Being vulnerable means sharing our real feelings and thoughts. 

If others don’t like it, that’s their problem. But this release helps us feel lighter. Being open and honest takes courage, but it’s important. The more open we are, the more we express ourselves without hiding. This openness helps our energy flow freely.

Understanding Samskaras and Emotional Repression, The Impact on Empaths and Self-Perception

In “The Untethered Soul,” they talk about samskaras, which are emotional marks from past experiences that stick with us until we deal with them. It’s like carrying around emotional baggage, trying to ignore the tension instead of letting it go. 

This tension not only affects how we feel but also how we see and deal with others.

In a way, we let others create more problems because we feel like we have to solve them. Empaths, who can feel what others are feeling, often feel good when they help others. 

They don’t want to deal with their own negative feelings and would rather keep being seen as helpful, avoiding any conflicts.

It’s intriguing when you accept that aspect of yourself. 

I had to learn this because of my friend, who had an ex-girlfriend who liked to be controlling and manipulative with negative energy. I constantly tiptoed around her to prevent problems.

I used to believe anything causing tension was wrong because she thrived on it, gaining power. But then I buried the part of me that had its own power, the part that could occasionally shake things up.

Wrap it up

As someone managing a business and Medium publication, I’ve learned to handle tension. This might make others uncomfortable, but it’s not my job to fix that. Empaths might worry about seeming selfish when setting boundaries, but it’s just about taking care of yourself.

Empaths, who can feel other people’s energy, have a special ability, almost like a superpower.

Thanks for reading! Please take a moment to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Don’t forget to share if you found it informative ❤

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