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Can the New Supply Spot the Red Flags of Narcissistic Behavior?

Can the New Supply Spot the Red Flags of Narcissistic Behavior?

There are three possible types of new supply. The first type is someone like you used to be, someone who doesn’t know about narcissism and hasn’t experienced narcissistic abuse yet.

Can the New Supply Spot the Red Flags of Narcissistic Behavior? ©Article cover made by the author.

People who haven’t been with a toxic narcissist before are in the first type. They’re like a blank canvas to the narcissist, ready to be influenced. They enter the narcissist’s world without knowing the tricks the narcissist uses. They might be very caring, find it hard to say no, have weak boundaries, or be going through a tough time like a recent breakup.

Whether recovering from a past relationship or falling in love for the first time, they become the narcissist’s new project without realizing it.

Their lack of awareness makes them easy targets for the narcissist’s exploitation. They might give emotional support, agree with everything, or admire the fake image the narcissist shows.

It’s a path from ignorance to awareness, a process of learning about narcissism and how damaging it can be.

Understanding the Narcissistic Cycle of Charm and Deception

If a narcissist finds a new partner, they’ll mold them carefully. They’ll pretend to share interests and act like a perfect match. Because the new partner doesn’t know about narcissism and lacks clear boundaries, they won’t realize they’re being deceived.

Initially, the new partner might feel they’ve found something wonderful in the relationship, but it’s not genuine.

Once the narcissist has hooked them with intense affection, they begin to withdraw. This sudden change, orchestrated by the manipulative narcissist, confuses the unsuspecting new partner.

Narcissists are skilled at switching between being charming and hurtful to attract others. For those unaware of narcissism, this can lead to serious issues and completely disrupt their lives.

This cycle has trapped many people, including you and me, showing the destructive impact of manipulation when it’s not recognized.

The Devastating Impact of Narcissistic Manipulation on the New Partner

Once the narcissist gets a hold of the new partner, things change fast. The new partner loses themselves, becoming just a shadow of who they used to be. They feel the need to always be in touch with the narcissist, conditioned to be available all the time.

They worry about not getting replies to their messages once the initial stage of showering with love turns into criticism.

The new partner ends up doing everything for the narcissist like housing, cooking, cleaning, and managing money. As the relationship progresses, it becomes difficult.

They thought they found a perfect partner, but it turns out the narcissist is jealous and wants to harm them.

Before the narcissist tries to hurt them, they take everything away — time, money, energy, love, empathy, friends, and health.

The new partner goes from feeling safe to being in chaos. The narcissist often isolates them from family and friends, so they depend on the narcissist.

The Destructive Cycle of Narcissistic Exploitation and Control

This is why narcissists behave the way they do, it’s a repeating pattern. If the new partner doesn’t know about narcissism, isn’t toxic themselves, and hasn’t been in such relationships before, they’re in for a tough time. Eventually, their life falls apart.

I’ve been in that position and seen how everything crumbles: their health declines, finances suffer, and they lose their sense of who they are.

They become a shell of themselves, losing their identity to the narcissist.

Nothing they do is ever good enough for the narcissist. The narcissist might even brag about how quickly they’ve taken control, comparing them to past partners.

Once the narcissist feels fully in charge, it’s dangerous.

The new partner believes in the fake image the narcissist shows, thinking they’re loved and cared for, trusting their promises. But none of it is true, the narcissist only cares about themselves.

Moving on After Narcissistic Abuse, How to Find Strength and Recovery

That’s just one type of new partner, their path can be difficult. Usually, they’ll end up being discarded by the narcissist, though it doesn’t always happen that way. They might wise up and leave themselves, or they could stay stuck in the fog of the narcissistic relationship, thinking there’s nothing better for them.

They might feel like they’re fading away while in that relationship.

If they do get discarded and if that’s happened to you, my heart goes out to you. They’ll need to find inner strength, like we’ve had to.

They’ll need to be persistent, resilient, brave, and strong. After the relationship ends, they’ll have to come to terms with what they’ve been through.

If they don’t recognize narcissism as quickly as you did, they’ll face a difficult road ahead.

I hope they never find themselves in such a relationship, but if they do, I hope they realize it early on.

It took me about three years to fully understand, but once I did, I focused completely on understanding and moving past it. It might seem like a lot, but remember, if I could do it, so can you. If you’ve been through it, you know exactly what I mean.

The Complex Dynamics of Recycled Sources in Narcissistic Relationships

The second type of potential new supply is someone who has been involved with the narcissist before. This could be family members, colleagues, past romantic partners, parents, siblings, basically anyone. These individuals were hurt by the narcissist in the past but haven’t cut ties completely.

They might not fully understand narcissism or feel unable to break away entirely, choosing instead to keep some distance from the narcissist.

The narcissist often goes back to these recycled people, acting like the victim or promising to change: “Just give me one more chance” “I’ve changed” or “Come spend the free time with me, things will be better this time.

Many of these recycled sources get caught in a repeating cycle.

They could be family or friends of the narcissist, repeatedly pulled back into their circle until they see the pattern, similar to the first type of new supply.

Recycled sources of supply believe in the narcissist’s false image and hope they can change.

They may fall for repeated attempts at reconciliation, known as Hoovers, where the narcissist tries to lure them back into the relationship. It’s crucial not to accept a Hoover, a tactic used to test if you’re still vulnerable or willing to engage with them.

Dealing with Difficulties After Leaving a Narcissistic Relationship

However, these individuals have fallen for Hoovers, thinking they could handle the narcissistic abuse cycle. They might have believed, “I’m strong enough to handle this. I know what to do.” Sadly, this approach never works because narcissists can’t change, they only care about themselves.

Giving them another chance, hoping they’ll change, or believing you can protect yourself from them always ends badly if you haven’t gained wisdom and used the right strategies.

Thinking you can outsmart or endure the narcissist’s behavior isn’t sustainable.

While you might put up with it for a while, every narcissistic relationship eventually hits a breaking point they all come to an end.

For those who kept going back to the narcissist, my hope is they find the clarity to go no contact, to block and remove the narcissist from their life and cut ties with anyone connected to them. If not now, then when?

I understand not everyone can go no contact right away.

In such situations, using the Grey Rock method being uninteresting and staying off the narcissist’s radar can help.

Each of us has unique circumstances influenced by our age, gender, language, location, and life experiences. Our fingerprints are our own unique identifiers, making each of us who we are.

Understanding Different Types of Potential Narcissistic Supply

The narcissist is skilled at changing their persona constantly, hiding their true self behind masks. They’re always adapting their tactics. Now, let’s focus on those who’ve been involved with the narcissist before, they still believe in the false image the narcissist portrays.

They haven’t been able to break free by cutting off contact.

Eventually, reality hits them hard: their finances suffer again, their health declines, and they’re bombarded with calls and texts at all hours, disrupting their peace.

When these signs show up, it’s crucial to sever ties and block the narcissist.

The third type of potential new supply for the narcissist is someone the narcissist themselves wouldn’t want to encounter, this person could be just as manipulative or worse.

While I’m not using technical terms, having gone through the cycle myself, I understand the challenge of escaping a situation you didn’t realize you were in.

This third type poses a big threat to the narcissist because they’re highly skilled in manipulation, deceit, and causing harm. They can manipulate anyone, even other narcissists. They’re extremely toxic individuals to avoid like the narcissist, you should steer clear of them too.

After discarding you or when your relationship ends, narcissists often move on to new targets who haven’t been involved with them before.

These could be people from the first or third type, as the narcissist takes a chance, thinking the grass is greener elsewhere a saying that often proves false.

When the narcissist discards someone and believes they’ve found a better source of supply, they often realize that person is toxic too, leading to abuse, manipulation, financial loss, and more.

Understanding How Narcissists Portray Perfect Lives on Social Media

Often, and I’ve said “often” quite a bit, remember that narcissists aren’t perfect. It’s easy to think they’ve moved on to a perfect life of happiness and sunshine, especially when their new partner looks flawless on social media.

First, avoid spending too much time on social media.
Second, the truth is far from perfect.

Whether it’s type one, two, or three, narcissists will manipulate their image on social platforms to show a perfect life. They post photos from places they’ve never been and use filters, while their confused new partner wonders why they’re taking selfies in places they visit together.

Over time, the new partner realizes they’re just going along for the ride, regardless of who they are.

They pay for vacations, endure the narcissist’s bad behavior, and bear every emotional, mental, spiritual, and financial burden. When the narcissist vacations, they take selfies to portray their “best life.”

Initially, there might be pictures of the new partner during the love bombing phase, but once trapped in the narcissistic web, they’re usually absent from such posts.

If the narcissist marries the new partner, closely examine those pictures.

You’ll notice the narcissist often hides their wedding ring or stands apart from their spouse, surrounded by potential new partners or strangers.

The confused spouse wonders why they’re not standing next to their partner. It’s a sign of rejection and devaluation, a stark realization that they’ve misunderstood their situation too late. This cycle continues as the narcissist always tries to appear single, regardless of who they’re currently with.

Understanding the Narcissist’s Cycle of Discard and Replacement

That’s why narcissists often prefer taking selfies instead of holding your hand or sitting next to you on the couch. They avoid intimacy and make you pay a price for something that should be natural in a healthy relationship.

Everything becomes a weapon to them.

They might slowly start disappearing, even if you live with them or are engaged or married to them. They stay late at work, claim unexpected visitors, or suddenly need weekends away with people you’ve never heard of.

They’ll make your hobbies vanish, belittle you, and punish you just for being yourself.

This is how they treat the new supply, whoever it may be. Remember, you were once the new supply too. Before you, there was someone else, either discarded or left behind by the narcissist.

When they found you, you might have thought it was a perfect relationship, but it wasn’t and neither will it be for the new supply.

If the narcissist moves on from you to someone new, it’s to hurt you, making you wonder, “What does the new supply have that I didn’t Ryan?”

When the narcissist discarded you or you ended it, they lost the best thing they could have had, and that’s you.

But don’t pine for them or stay stuck. Instead, focus on healing from childhood wounds, seek therapy, journal, meditate, read helpful articles, write, do whatever helps you heal.

Know that the more you distance yourself from the narcissistic relationship, the stronger you’ll become.

As you grow stronger, the narcissist will weaken.

They won’t ride off into the sunset with a new supply, they’ll fade into darkness, briefly grappling with their actions before convincing themselves it’s okay to move on and harm someone else, straining relationships, health, finances, and everything else they touch.

Recognizing the Cycle of Narcissistic Manipulation and Consequences

That’s what narcissists are about. They’re fundamentally cowardly and bullies at heart, empty, shallow, lacking real substance. They copy others, repeating back people’s ideas and dreams as their own.

If you tried to have a meaningful conversation with a narcissist when you were with them, you probably found it impossible.

There’s just nothing meaningful there.

At first, during the love-bombing phase, the narcissist seemed full of charm, but you were caught up in their facade. You didn’t have the wisdom or tools to see through it then.

Now that you know better, you can’t ignore what you’ve learned.

That’s why it’s so important to cut off contact. Block them, delete them, and disconnect from anyone associated with them. If not now, then when? It’s crucial to understand this clearly.

Now, who becomes the new target? It might be someone like you, unaware of narcissism, about to face manipulation and chaos. Or it could be someone who’s been with the narcissist before, hoping things will be different this time, even though history shows they won’t change.

Eventually, they’ll see the truth.

Or it could be another toxic person, maybe even worse than the narcissist. In that case, the narcissist meets their match.

They thought they could keep manipulating, but everyone faces someone they can’t control, even if that person is better at manipulation. It’s ironic the narcissist gets manipulated too, but they’ll never admit it. They hold onto the idea that they’re always right, but deep down, they’re scared and mean.

Wrap it up

So there you have it, everyone. I hope you enjoyed the article, I loved writing it for you. This is Ryan signing off. Remember, true change begins with a spark. I care for each and every one of you

If you’re on a healing journey, keep going strong. Drop your comments below, I’d love to hear from you.

And if you’re wondering if the new person in your ex’s life has it better than you, trust me, that’s not true.

They might think so, or they could be toxic themselves, caught up in your ex’s games. But their path ahead is likely just as challenging as yours was.

The key difference is finding the strength to heal and move forward.

I hope anyone who becomes the new person for your ex, once they’re discarded or end things themselves, finds the same healing path that you and I have.

Not everyone does, so be grateful that you have. Break free from these toxic cycles, embrace your healing journey, and start living your best life.

I hope you found my article informative and helpful.

Please let me know what you think, God bless you, Love you all, and take care!

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