Today’s topic is about how and why you succeeded against narcissist. Let’s talk about winning, narcissists always want to win. They see every relationship and interaction as a competition, always trying to be better than everyone else.
When it comes to narcissists thinking they’re winning in a relationship with you, it’s because you didn’t know about narcissism. No one talk about it before, so you lacked the awareness to spot the signs.
For example, you might not have understood the silent treatment. You probably thought it was just someone having a bad time, not realizing it was a deliberate punishment to isolate you or ruin your day.
Experiencing it firsthand helped you see how this fits into the cycle of narcissistic abuse.
Gaslighting is another tactic where the narcissist twists reality to make you doubt your own memories. Even when you knew what really happened, they manipulated the truth to suit themselves. These tactics like smear campaigns, triangulation, and rage are all part of their playbook to control you.
Learning these terms and recognizing them in your own experiences gives you wisdom. It’s about understanding how these tactics were used against you and using that knowledge to protect yourself in the future.
Moving On, Healing and Rediscovery After a Narcissistic Relationship
Once you realize that you were once in a narcissistic relationship, it hits you: “Hey, I’m out of that now Ryan.” Whether I was dumped or ended it myself, I’ve moved forward. I’ve healed or I’m healing, aiming to reach a point where I feel indifferent.
This is when I can slow down and really understand myself.
Now, I know what behavior I accept, who I want to be around, and who I don’t. Blocking someone is important for my healing journey because it shows I don’t want to communicate anymore, it never helped me in the past.
That’s why in almost every article I write, I advise going no contact. Block them, delete them. Disconnect from anyone connected to them, If not now then when? If that’s not possible, try the gray rock method be boring and disappear from the narcissist’s attention.
Understanding these principles means I’ve either left the relationship or I’m planning how to leave.
I’m actively working on my plan to move on. After leaving, healing starts, a time to slow down and deeply think about myself and how narcissism affected me during that time in my life.
Getting Stronger and Free from Narcissistic Influence
As you keep moving forward each day, you become stronger. Every day, the narcissists become smaller and weaker. They shrink away, like tiny bits of dirt under your shoe. That’s where they belong, thriving in their own deceptive world. But they fooled you.
They made you think you couldn’t manage without them.
Remember, you never needed the narcissist. Not before, not now, and not in the future. It was the narcissist who needed you.
They were drawn to you like moths to a flame, wanting to take your positivity, love, and empathy for themselves. They tried to dim your bright light and fill you with their negativity, making you doubt yourself.
You ended up losing your identity, becoming an extension of them.
You were the one always apologizing, helping without pay, and listening to manage their emotions. I repeat these points often to make it clear, the more you learn from my articles, the more you’ll realize.
Eventually, it will click, and you’ll say, “Yes, Ryan is right. I should cut off contact, change my surroundings, or stop giving these people my energy, even if they’re family.” Because they don’t change, they only get worse with time, deteriorating further.
Thriving After Dealing with a Narcissist
Now you understand it, or you’ve come to. You truly see why and how you emerged victorious. You won because you stopped sacrificing yourself, you stopped trying to please everyone, you stopped always saying yes.
Instead, you’ve grown into someone who understands others deeply.
You are awake, aware, educated, and strong. You’ve been through something tough, and you’ve come out on top.
You’ve broken free from the cycle of abuse caused by the narcissist. You’re the one who didn’t give up. Despite being pushed down every day in that relationship, you persevered. Now, you’re thriving.
Opportunities are opening up for you.
You’re forming new relationships, learning, teaching, reading, writing, traveling, starting businesses, and rediscovering your passions. Your health and energy are improving.
You’re no longer exposed to the toxic behavior of the narcissist whether it’s verbal, mental, spiritual, financial, or anything else.
You’re taking the lessons from that relationship and applying them without trying to predict what comes next.
You’re living fully in the present moment, something the narcissist struggles with.
Both you and I live in the present moment, that’s our strength. The narcissist lives for the moment, which is why plans often changed when you were with them.
If a plan suited them, you had to follow or face consequences. If it was something you wanted, they often weren’t interested or would disrupt it, prioritizing their own needs.
The narcissist shifts with the wind, only focused on themselves, seeing others as tools or vulnerabilities. Remember, they needed you and it was never the other way around.
Moving Beyond Narcissistic Manipulation and Reclaiming Abundance
As you distance yourself from them and their allies, those flying monkeys and enablers, you’ll see clearly how everything I talk about truly happens. When you heal properly, abundance returns to your life.
You silence the narcissist’s voice by processing it all: therapy, healing old wounds, reading articles, watching videos, meditating or praying, journaling, slowing down, and reflecting on how you got into that relationship.
What triggered it? How did you fall for their false front? Why didn’t you recognize narcissism? Be kind to yourself, you couldn’t have known then what you know now.
I often emphasize in my articles, and I’ll say it again. if the narcissist had shown you a detailed report upfront like explaining who they are, their past actions, what they’d do to you, and their future intentions, you wouldn’t have chosen to be in that relationship.
With 8 billion people on this planet, you didn’t opt for a relationship filled with hate, toxicity, gaslighting, stonewalling, and blame-shifting.
The smear campaign and everything around you during that time fell apart. It all crumbled like your finances, health, time, and energy, all of which I discuss often.
It crumbled because the narcissist escalated their abusive behavior.
They dragged you into devaluation, leaving you in a fog where reality blurred. Lost and disoriented, you struggled to find your bearings. You knew you didn’t belong there, and change was necessary.
Yet, every attempt to have a serious conversation with the narcissist was brushed off or delayed with excuses like, “We’ll talk about it later. I don’t want to discuss that right now.”
Narcissists’ Predatory Nature, Searching for New Targets and Their Own Decline
Because they know exactly what they’re doing with you. Let me emphasize this, if anyone doubts whether narcissists understand their actions, think again. They dress like you, breathe the same air, and have access to everything you do like smartphones, cars, buses, trains, you name it.
I bring this up because narcissists are always searching for the next shiny thing.
They’re looking for the next person to manipulate, the next believer in their fake persona, and whoever becomes the new target, or even the next ones after that.
These people fit into three categories:
- They are toxic themselves.
- They’re recycled sources of attention who haven’t broken free from their trauma bond.
- They’re unaware of narcissism and fall for the facade, just as you and I once did.
But the new targets may not be faring any better than you did. In fact, they might be faring worse because as narcissists age, they enter what’s called the aging narcissist phase.
This is when their looks start to fade, wrinkles appear, gray hairs show up, and they can’t rely on the charm that once worked so well.
This decline marks a downfall for the narcissist, it’s just one way their fake image falls apart. On the other hand, you’ve emerged victorious because you’ve broken free from that cycle.
You’ve educated yourself about narcissism, you’ve learned extensively through reading, videos, journaling, and talking with others in the community. You’ve listened to their stories and shared your own, helping everyone to better understand the situation.
Healing and Feeling Indifference Together
Together, we’re all getting stronger as a community of people recovering from narcissistic relationships. We’re becoming a united voice, with many of us standing at the peak of indifference, ready to support others on their journey.
It’s been a tough road, but we’ve healed.
Every day, more people are healing. It’s rare and liberating to reach this place of indifference. Now, you see the world differently.
You’ve not only overcome, you’ve already won by breaking free from the cycle. You’re no longer yearning for the narcissist or wondering about their whereabouts.
No more late-night texts or calls that were likely sent to others too.
Remember those morning messages meant to keep you thinking about them? They were just tactics to keep you hooked, not genuine thoughts about you.
It’s all part of the strange dynamics in these relationships, they never really cared. Their goal was to keep you tangled up, making sure they stayed in control, and unfortunately, they often succeeded.
Reclaiming Power and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
The narcissist doesn’t care about anyone but themselves. You, me, and many others know this well. When you were with them, you gave everything, hoping to return to the initial happiness they once showed.
But you never quite got back there because the narcissist knew they had you under their control.
No matter how much you struggled or spoke up about your health and well-being, they ignored you, watching your life fall apart. They started conflicts, trying to ruin everything around you.
They almost broke you, but here you are, still standing.
You’ve found support, realized your victory, left the toxic relationship behind, and are healing or have healed. The narcissist will move on to others, which isn’t your concern anymore.
Now, focus on protecting yourself, setting boundaries, and learning to say no, the most powerful word there is. Saying no to others means saying yes to yourself, a new idea compared to your time with the narcissist.
You’ve processed what happened, reflected on your life and relationships, and reached a point where you feel indifferent, knowing how fortunate you are to have escaped that toxic situation.
You didn’t choose to endure it or fully understand it, and it almost brought you down.
The narcissist’s ability to manipulate is like that of the best actors, honed over a lifetime without limits or consequences. They deceived you, pulling you into a relationship you never expected.
Wrap it up
Once again, they only care about themselves. This article is here to remind you that you’ve already overcome or are well on your way to victory. The more you distance yourself from the narcissistic relationship, the stronger you become.
Strengthening yourself opens doors to thrive in this world, where countless opportunities await. Your future holds endless possibilities, but only if you cut ties and go no contact with these individuals.
It’s crucial to fully process the relationship and heal properly, which requires patience, calmness, focus, resilience, courage, and strength.
Accept that the relationship unfolded as it did, not as you wished.
Accept this reality and understand it’s now behind you, you’ve emerged victorious. Your best days lie ahead, definitely not with the narcissist.
If you ever doubt this, as I suggested before, grab pen and paper to list the good and bad of that narcissistic relationship. Write it down, it will enlighten you.
So that wraps up this article. I wrote this with joy, this is Ryan. Focus on yourself. Manage what you can control. Remove toxicity from your life.
Block these people and start your journey to heal and live fully.
And always remember, if your current situation isn’t what you want, make a plan to change it. Set goals, achieve them, knowing where you are now won’t be where you’ll be in months, or a year from now. May you find success.
I hope you found my article informative and helpful.
Please let me know what you think, God bless you, Love you all, and take care!
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