Denial is when someone refuses to accept the truth, and narcissists are experts at it. Right from when they first met you, they started hiding who they truly are.

They pretended to be someone else, tricking you into getting close to them. They’re sneaky, making you open up to them while they keep their true selves hidden.

Every time you talked to them, they were lying to you, making you trust them while they were being dishonest.

You ended up telling the narcissist everything about yourself like your dreams, where you’ve been, and where you want to go.

You shared your future plans, only to see most of them never happen.

And then there’s the narcissist’s denial game.

From the beginning, they weren’t being real with you because it’s just not how they operate. They wouldn’t even admit to their own past, especially past relationships. Instead, they’d blame those exes, even if they were long gone or not around anymore.

The Narcissist’s Pattern of Victimhood and Manipulation

They often blamed their past relationships for everything that went wrong, playing the victim to manipulate others, especially at the start of a relationship.

Narcissists are always moving around, looking for new people and places to improve their status and gather more stuff.

And at one time, you were their new focus, even if you didn’t realize it.

They hardly ever told the truth about their past relationships, leaving out details or pretending they didn’t exist.

Sometimes, they’d mention those exes, maybe to make you jealous or to make you feel bad. But who knows if those people were even real? It’s all part of the game narcissists play.

The Narcissist’s game of Denial and Manipulation

I’m telling you this because narcissists hide who they really are. They can’t love or show empathy, and everything they do is fake. They make you believe they care about you, but it’s all a lie.

At the start of a relationship, they rush things to trap you.

They keep you from seeing their true colors, keeping you under their control. Once they’ve got you hooked, they slowly pull away, cutting you off bit by bit.

To them, life is all about power and control.

They hurt people for their own gain, playing with hearts and ruining dreams. But your life is precious and should be enjoyed.

When you’re with a narcissist, they don’t want you to be yourself. You’re just a pawn in their game, stripped of your identity. They might act nice sometimes, but it’s only to keep you trapped.

I. The Narcissist’s Tactics of Denial and Control

Gaslighting is when someone makes you doubt your memories by denying what really happened. The narcissist was great at this during your relationship. You didn’t even know what gaslighting was back then, so you couldn’t see it happening.

For instance, if you remembered one thing, but they insisted it was something else, you either believed them or faced their anger if you disagreed.

You were stuck in their game, trying to make sense of the chaos without any guidance.

Think about how they kept you from seeing your kids, maybe even turning them against you.

This didn’t help the kids at all, it messed up their upbringing. Narcissists aren’t good parents and they’d rather mess up your role as a parent than do things right themselves.

If you tried to teach your kids things like trust and boundaries, they’d try to ruin it. It’s a pattern: they ruin relationships and control anyone they can.

The Narcissist’s Manipulative Tactics in Relationships

Let’s talk about something called triangulation. When you were with the narcissist, they would often involve other people like their coworkers or old friends in your relationship without you knowing.

But at that time, you probably didn’t understand what was happening. Now you know that it’s a way for them to control you, make you feel small, and question yourself.

Triangulation is a serious thing because it can make you feel really lost and powerless, especially if you were deeply in love and giving your all.

You didn’t realize what kind of relationship you were in because you didn’t have the knowledge or experience.

You just kept giving to the narcissist, like a mouse caught by a cat.

They used you until they were done with you, without any care for how you felt. I’m not telling you this to upset you, but to help you understand how the narcissist works.

Once they find someone new to use, they’ll toss you aside like yesterday’s news.

Don’t think the new person in the narcissist’s life is living in paradise. They might believe they’re in a perfect relationship, but we both know that’s not true.

The narcissist will change course whenever they feel like it, leaving behind a trail of broken hearts. That’s just how they are, and they’ll never admit they’re responsible for the pain they cause.

The Narcissist’s Cruel Denial of Closure

Let’s talk about closure. Did the narcissist ever give you closure? No way, especially after the relationship ended. When you were trying to understand what went wrong, you probably tried talking to them, their family, or friends for closure.

But they all turned their backs on you. They believed the narcissist’s lies and cut you off without a second thought. It’s really cruel.

Some of those people might have been nice, but they were too close to the narcissist to see the truth. It’s hard, I know.

But if even one person supported you during that time, you were lucky.

Lots of people, including myself, don’t have anyone. The narcissist blocked you from talking to old friends, seeing your kids, or getting legal help, all because of their sneaky tactics.

Narcissists creep into your life like poison ivy, taking over until there’s nothing left. The difference is, you can spot poison ivy and avoid it. But with narcissists, you didn’t know what you were dealing with.

II. The Narcissist’s Tactics of Denial and Control

You gotta understand: the narcissist denied you a lot, and their games of denial never seemed to stop. Let’s talk about divorcing a narcissist. You might’ve thought things would be fair and simple, but nope.

They want to drag it out, drain your money, and keep you guessing. They don’t want a smooth divorce, they want to keep you stuck.

Same goes for custody battles.

The narcissist fights for custody not because they actually want it, but to control you and look good.

They want to come off as the perfect parent, even though they’re far from it. Their goal? To drive a wedge between you and your kids. Throughout the relationship, they play these denying games, taking away your basic rights and peace of mind.

The Narcissist’s Pattern of Denying Peace and Stability

Think about going to the store with your shopping list. You come back home, and the narcissist complains about what you bought, saying it’s all wrong. They might even say you missed their texts, even though there weren’t any.

It’s just mind games, making you feel uneasy.

Now, imagine a quiet weekend after a long week of work. You want to sleep in, but the narcissist has already been up for hours, restless.

When they come back from their bike ride, they’re surprised you’re still relaxing. They won’t let you enjoy a simple moment of peace.

That’s what dealing with narcissists is like, they’re always moving, never satisfied. They can’t just chill out and be happy. Instead, they criticize you and make it hard to feel secure in the relationship.

The Narcissist’s Campaign of Denial and Deprivation

Let’s talk about what makes a relationship stable. In a good relationship, both people support each other and understand each other well. They talk things out and make decisions together.

But in a narcissistic relationship, there’s no stability.

You’re always unsure and uneasy. The narcissist is never happy and always looking for something else.

They deny you a lot in that relationship.

They take away your hopes for a good future, your dreams, and even closure when things end. They won’t admit that they can’t love or understand others, and they lie about their past relationships.

Denying things is a big part of who they are.

Imagine reaching a big goal, like graduating or getting a promotion. Instead of being happy for you, the narcissist ignores it or makes it seem like it’s not important.

They don’t like seeing you succeed unless it helps them somehow. It’s all part of their plan to deny you the happiness and recognition you deserve.

The Narcissist’s Eternal Competition and the Power of Denial

Narcissists are always trying to compete, even with their own family and friends. They see everyone as either someone to use or someone to block.

After the relationship ends, what do you do? You heal.

You take it slow, think things over, and rebuild your support system. Most people from that time disappear, but if you’re lucky, you still have a few good friends.

You heal, you learn, and you realize how toxic the relationship was.

With that wisdom, you cut ties, block them, and move forward. You refuse to let them have any power over you.

Narcissists hope you’ll stay hurt so they can come back and play the hero. But you? You won’t give them that satisfaction.

You win by healing and cutting them out of your life completely. You keep toxic people away, turning things around for yourself.

Wrap it up

These people don’t deserve to know anything about you like where you are, who you’re with, or what you’re doing. They took away the best parts of you and left you with nothing.

Whether you were dumped or had to leave the relationship yourself, my heart goes out to you.

But here you are, figuring things out.

The best thing to do is to block them and cut off anyone who supports them. In almost every piece I write, I suggest not talking to them and shutting them out completely.

They won’t change, they only get worse. They want to control you and come back into your life whenever they want if you don’t cut them off.

So, remember: these are the mind games narcissists play.

This is Ryan. Remember, you’re not alone. The narcissist took a lot from you during that relationship. If you’re still caught up, think about cutting ties completely.

It’ll help you think clearly, find new opportunities, and feel better. Keep on avoiding them, because they don’t deserve any of your attention.

I hope you found my article informative and helpful.

Please let me know what you think, God bless you, Love you all, and take care!

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