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How Narcissists Want to Drag You Down with Them

How Narcissists Want to Drag You Down with Them

They don’t want to help you, instead they want to trap you in their cycle of manipulation and harm. Like a sinking ship, they have a bunch of ways to cause trouble and hurt anyone close to them.

How Narcissists Want to Drag You Down with Them ©Article cover made by the author & Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

If you’ve ever been with a narcissist, you know how strange it feels. It’s like being in a crazy world where you forget who you are. You end up doing whatever the narcissist wants: saying sorry all the time, doing things for free, and always listening to them.

Narcissists love playing with your feelings, making you feel great one minute and terrible the next.

They want company, but you? You can handle things on your own, mostly. Do you have good relationships? Hopefully. But you don’t rely on others to stay balanced or to do bad stuff like lying or manipulating.

I. The Narcissist’s Endless Desire to Take and Manipulate

You don’t have to do mean things like spreading lies, messing with people’s heads, or making them feel bad, that’s what narcissists do. Narcissists saw all the good things about you like your love, kindness, intelligence, and more, and they wanted it all for themselves.

They always want more, even when they’ve taken everything from you.

They can’t be happy with a loving relationship like others can because they’re just not capable of it. Instead, they trick people into being with them, maybe even making them fall in love.

In every relationship with a narcissist, there’s a moment when things change.

Maybe you moved far away for them or made big sacrifices for their sake.

Whatever it was, it always helped them, even if it hurt you, and you didn’t see it at the time. You used to think most people cared about you, but now you know better. Narcissists are the ones who only care about themselves.

II. The Narcissist’s Endless Desire to Take and Manipulate

Imagine you’re stuck in the ocean with a life raft nearby, but only one person can fit. You and the narcissist are there, and guess who grabs the life preserver? Yep, the narcissist, not even thinking about you.

They wouldn’t share or work together to survive, they’re all about themselves.

It’s hard, but it shows how selfish they are.

Narcissists wanted to bring you down with them. Deep down, they’re anxious and use it against you.

They might say they’re anxious and need to talk, but can you trust them? You never really knew them because they wore a mask and trapped you.

That’s why they dump all their problems on unsuspecting people who don’t understand their cycle of abuse.

But once you realize this and prioritize yourself, you’ll see the narcissist doesn’t belong in your life.

Cut them off, block them, and stay away from anyone connected to them. When? Now. Every moment in a narcissistic relationship is wasted. Life’s too short for toxicity and games.

Rejecting the Narcissist’s Attempts to Reel You Back In

You were caught up in their game, and the narcissists knew it. That’s why they want to keep you stuck with them, trapped in their world. It’s no surprise that many people get pulled back in by their tactics, known as hoovers.

So, what’s a Hoover? It’s their sneaky way of trying to reel you back in, pretending to be nice and caring.

They know you’re valuable and don’t want to lose you.

Don’t fall for their games and reject the Hoover. It just shows the narcissist that you’re still under their control, not fully healed or aware of their schemes.

They won’t change because they’ll only get worse over time, thinking they deserve everything you have.

I keep reminding you of your worth because you deserve better than their abuse whether it’s verbal, mental, emotional, physical, or financial.

You went through it all in the relationship, not realizing the pattern of narcissistic behavior.

It’s not your fault, you were manipulated and trapped.

We fell for it because we didn’t know any better. But once we saw the truth whether our health suffered, our money disappeared, or we saw through their lies, the relationship dynamic changed for good.

Healing and Recovering from Narcissistic Relationships

Narcissists always look for new people to control, often going back to old ones who haven’t figured them out yet. Sometimes, they target people like you who are kind and stable but unaware of their games.

Believing their lies leads to a tough journey of manipulation and abuse, followed by healing that takes time.

There’s no instant healing, it’s all about the work you put in after leaving the narcissist.

Narcissists keep you under their thumb by devaluing your feelings and telling you how to act.

They make fun of you when you laugh and mock you when you cry, manipulating you to fit their needs.

For example, I used to greet strangers in Passau, but the narcissist made me feel embarrassed about it. They’d make me doubt myself, but now I see through their games and proudly stay true to myself.

The Narcissist’s Desire for Total Control

Narcissists don’t want you to be yourself. They want to control every aspect of your life like how you look, your daily routine, even who you talk to. They create a world where you’re always on edge, saying sorry for things you didn’t do, enduring their silence, and taking their abuse.

All these examples, and many more, show how narcissists keep you down.

The problems in the relationship come from them, not you. They need someone to support them while mistreating them behind closed doors.

It’s important to understand that narcissists aren’t just shallow, they’re also cowardly bullies. They manipulate and harm others knowingly, thriving on keeping their victims trapped in a toxic cycle of confusion.

I. The Path to Healing and Self-Discovery

In my conversations with the community, I often hear this: “All my exes come back to me. Most of them would take me back in a heartbeat.” Why do you think they say that?

Well, first, they might be arrogant. Second, they could be trapped in a spell, not realizing they’re being manipulated. And third, they know they have the power to mess with people’s lives.

But once you realize that cutting off contact is the best move, and that the narcissist wanted to keep you trapped, it’s a huge relief.

You see the toxic relationship for what it was and you’re glad to be free.

Healing isn’t easy, though. You need to take time to process, maybe see a therapist, write in a journal, meditate or pray, and deal with past hurts.

Your social life might change as you focus on yourself.

But every day, you’re getting stronger and more independent. You’ll reach a point where you don’t need the narcissist’s approval anymore. It’s all about discovering yourself and feeling empowered.

II. The Path to Healing and Self-Discovery

When the narcissist dumped you or when you decided to leave, that’s when your journey to self-discovery began. You had to lose yourself to find who you truly are.

Maybe you’re realizing this now, or maybe you already have.

If so, share your thoughts below. This experience will change you forever, but reaching a state of not caring will change you for the better.

Now, you’re in a place you never knew existed, seeing the world more clearly.

You’re not seeing things with a positive bias anymore, you see them for what they really are.

You’ve learned that not everyone has your best interests at heart, but you also see your own strength and resilience. You faced the challenges of a narcissistic relationship head-on, even if you didn’t know it then.

Despite the challenges, you made it through and came out stronger.

As you gain new wisdom, you’re no longer controlled by the narcissist. You’re taking back control of your life and sharing the lessons you’ve learned with others.

Wrap it up

That’s why we aim to be better than toxic behavior and to find positivity. The doors to better things will open once you heal properly.

The narcissist tried to keep you down, but here you are, shining bright.

If you’re here, it’s because you know you need to heal from past relationships. So, that’s the article. this is Ryan. Remember, you’re not alone.

I hope you found my article informative and helpful.

Please let me know what you think, God bless you, Love you all, and take care!

Check out our publication about Narcissism if you want to learn more or join us to write: Me and Narcissism

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