Let’s talk about how narcissists wiggle their way into our lives. Wiggling is like something slowly sneaking into a system, a person, or a relationship over time. That’s precisely how they operate.

They invade people’s lives. The narcissist definitely found their way into your life for a while during that relationship. Maybe you’re still in it, or maybe you’re planning your way out.

Once you’ve figured out who the narcissist is whether it’s your roommate, romantic partner, parent, sibling, coworker, colleague, neighbor, or someone from a hobby group or community, you need to understand that these relationships don’t protect you.

Narcissists will try to dig deeper into your life. They’ll gather information about your dreams, past relationships, finances, and even your belongings like beach homes.

They’ll push the boundaries of your relationship. When you were with the narcissist, you probably didn’t realize how common narcissism is.

You had no way of knowing that some people aren’t looking out for your best interests, some actually want to harm you, cause you pain, manipulate you, and take control. Unfortunately, there are many people like that out there.

Understanding Narcissists’ Manipulative Tactics, Exploiting Vulnerability and Deception

There are many good people out there, and I’m sure you’re one of them. Every day, I try to be a good person, and I hope you do too. But narcissists operate differently, they aim to wiggle into every part of your life.

Think back to when you were in that relationship.

Maybe you were open and vulnerable when you met them, even though you didn’t need to be.

People often get into narcissistic relationships during tough times like moving, money problems, starting a new job, dealing with loss, or health issues.

Being vulnerable and not knowing about narcissism is risky, and that’s how many of us end up in those relationships.

Not everyone, but a lot of people. At some point, the narcissist got into your life. They might have said they were a single parent with a bad ex, and you believed them, thinking you could help raise their kids and build a life together.

Or maybe they said they were bullied their whole life and you wanted to help them. You got married, moved far away, started a family and then you realized they were a narcissist.

Maybe today’s the first time you’re reading an article like this, realizing it describes your marriage, your family, or someone close to you.

The narcissist learned all about you until something significant happened either the relationship ended or you chose to cut them off and block them, including their friends who sided with them. If not now, when? Taking action is crucial.

Waiting for someone to save you won’t help.

It’s unrealistic to expect others to understand your struggles after leaving a narcissistic relationship if they haven’t experienced it themselves.

Rising Stronger After Narcissistic Abuse

Those of us who have survived and come out stronger are like a Phoenix rising from the ashes. We’re forever changed and have become the strongest versions of ourselves. We’ve reached a state of indifference and resilience, sharing a common understanding that we didn’t learn before but from the daily abuse in a narcissistic relationship.

This understanding is our superpower, especially once we accept that the relationship was exactly what it was, not what we wanted it to be.

Healing involves radical acceptance, processing old wounds, seeking therapy, journaling, meditating, reading educational articles, and watching videos

By doing these things and slowing down, you realize you need to heal from that relationship.

You can’t just jump into another romantic relationship or new friendship because you have significant work to do. This work is important for two reasons: to heal from the specific relationship and because the narcissist likely drained you of all your resources like your time, money, energy, effort, love, empathy, health, and status.

They took everything they could, believing they were entitled to anything you had. Typically, narcissists spend other people’s money while saving their own.

These individuals are often extremely cheap, claiming they don’t have money when they do.

This is just one part of their nature, when a narcissist infiltrates your life they cause a lot of damage. You didn’t know what you were dealing with because every day in that relationship was filled with toxicity.

Living with a Narcissist, Facing Gaslighting, Blame-Shifting, and Loss of Control

You might have dealt with gaslighting, the silent treatment, rage fits, and stonewalling. The narcissist blamed you for everything, this is called blame-shifting. They can’t take responsibility or admit their mistakes, so they need others to be their scapegoats, emotional punching bags, unpaid helpers, and sounding boards to manage their own emotions.

If you’re living with a narcissist, you’ll notice the relationship gets worse much faster than you thought possible.

For example, if you got married and moved into a new place, as soon as the wedding was over, everything changed. The narcissist took control, not you.

You’ll see that your presence in your own home becomes small.

The narcissist takes over every space to make you uncomfortable. They might spread magazines all over the couch so you can’t sit, leave dirty dishes in the sink for you to clean, or not pay the bills, leaving you to handle it.

Understanding Narcissistic Abuse, Losing Yourself and Gaining Awareness

There are many examples of toxic narcissistic relationships. Living with a narcissist, you sensed something was wrong but couldn’t figure out what. One day, you might have taken notes about the relationship or searched online for terms like “silent treatment” or “gaslighting.” That’s when you had your first realization.

You discovered you were dealing with narcissism, even if you didn’t know what to call it.

This led you to learn more, you came across terms like the narcissistic abuse cycle, flying monkeys, trauma bond, and object constancy. These were new concepts, but they helped you understand narcissistic abuse.

The narcissist had infiltrated your life, creating a rift between you and everything that mattered like your friends, hobbies, job, and health. You lost yourself in the relationship, becoming a shell of who you once were, losing your identity to the narcissist.

When I say you lose your identity to the narcissist, I mean you reach a point where you have no voice in the relationship.

You’re doing exactly what the narcissist wants, spending your money, harming your health, and becoming isolated. You might find yourself in an unfamiliar city or town without friends, no longer enjoying your hobbies.

For example, if you loved playing guitar, the narcissist might belittle your interest, saying no one plays guitar or you’re not good enough. If you enjoyed gardening, they might dismiss it as a waste of time.

Eventually, you stop playing guitar and gardening, sitting on the couch, waiting for the narcissist to control your life and tell you what to do next. This process happens so slowly that you don’t notice until it’s too late. That’s how the narcissist infiltrates your life.

Understanding the Narcissist’s Tactics, Controlling Through Criticism and Manipulation

Imagine having a favorite chair or couch, or enjoying a specific TV show on Netflix. The narcissist quickly makes sure that chair disappears or criticizes the couch, asking why anyone would sit there.

They call your TV choices boring, hinting only dull people watch those shows.

They constantly put you down, making you feel worthless and keeping you under their control. If you don’t understand their behavior cycle, you won’t realize the danger until it’s too late, they’ve already taken over your life.

Maybe you married them, had kids, or now depend on them financially as they control all the money, using it to control and abuse you. Perhaps you started a business with them and now want out.

Whether it’s a roommate, coworker, or colleague, escaping their grip feels impossible. Narcissists find many ways into your life, and by the time you notice, it’s often too late and you missed the red flags before marriage, kids, or things got worse.

Now, let’s tackle a critical question: Do narcissists understand their actions? Despite what some think, they know exactly what they’re doing.

Like everyone else, they wake up each day with choices.

Instead of kindness and stability, they choose manipulation and seek validation from multiple sources at once. Through dating apps or social media, they target people worldwide, using the same tricks to control lives from afar.

Narcissistic Texting Tactics, Manipulation Through Routine Messages

Why do narcissists often send the same text message every morning? They might type “hi how are you” without capital letters or proper spelling and send it to many people 2, 3, even 10. They wait to see who replies, aiming to draw people back into their lives so they can manipulate them.

While doing this, they might already be living with you or have some connection, but they’re just waiting for the right time to discard you.

This isn’t to upset you, it’s just how narcissists behave.

This pattern isn’t new, it’s what they did before they met you, what they’re doing now with others, and what they’ll likely keep doing in the future.

They enter relationships pretending to be trustworthy and morally superior, even religious, but behind closed doors, they cheat, sext, play texting games, and do other dishonest things.

This type of narcissist is often seen as holier-than-thou in public, but they act very differently in private.

Narcissists are everywhere in your neighborhood, on buses, in schools, they’re all around you. The important thing to remember is that they infiltrate lives to benefit themselves, and knowing how they operate is essential.

Protecting Your Peace Against Their Hoover Attempts

And then you decided to stop all contact, remove yourself, or block them completely. Maybe you divorced the narcissist, dealing with dividing assets through a mediator or waiting for the money they owe you, which they slowly pay to hurt you more.

Narcissists often act like they’re above the rules, making their own until you’ve had enough and reach a breaking point. Now that you’re not in touch with them anymore, here’s why the narcissist can’t get back into your life:

• You don’t share personal information too freely.
• You’re more aware and understanding of people’s feelings.
• Hopefully, you’ve healed or are on your way to recovery.
• You can see signs of toxicity from far away.
• Maybe you’ve moved to a new place.
• You’ve looked back at past relationships and spotted toxic people.
• Now, you save your energy, kindness, love, and attention for people you trust. You don’t rush to help strangers anymore, unsure if they might be another narcissist pretending to be a victim.

Maybe it was a vulnerable narcissist who drew you in, acting like they had a tough childhood, unstable homes, and no love. You thought you could help and love them, leading to years of commitment, a mortgage, lost friendships because of their lies, and harm to your health.

Now, you might feel like a different person, alone in your home. This is just one part of how narcissists hurt people, with many more layers to uncover.

Wrap it up

Let me break it down for you: narcissists can wiggle into your life quietly, like a slow drip from a faucet. You turn it on, expecting just a drop, but it keeps coming, drop by drop, until it’s flowing steadily, and eventually, it’s pouring out like a waterfall.

That’s what it’s like when you get involved with a narcissist without realizing it by the time you figure it out, you’re already deeply involved, and stopping it isn’t easy.

Sometimes you don’t even know how to stop it.

That’s why it’s important to gain wisdom, take your time, and think things over. Healing is essential, whether you’re working on it now or you’ve already made progress.

The goal is to reach a point where their behavior doesn’t affect you anymore. Remember, take action sooner rather than later. Understand this: don’t let anyone invade your life again. Avoid sharing too much, set clear boundaries, resist trying to please everyone, and learn to say no it’s a powerful word.

Save your energy for yourself.

That’s what I want you to take away from this. This is Ryan. Sending a big hug to each of you, wherever you are in the world.

I hope you found my article informative and helpful.

Please let me know what you think, God bless you, Love you all, and take care!

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