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Keeping the Narcissist Out of Your Life

Keeping the Narcissist Out of Your Life

It could be someone you used to date, a family member, a coworker, or just a friend. Sometimes, you might feel tempted to give them another chance.

Keeping the Narcissist Out of Your Life ©Article cover made by the author & Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

Dealing with a narcissist is extremly difficult. They flip between acting like a victim and acting superior, always trying to get their way. For example, think about a parent with a narcissistic adult child.

This child, whether they have a family or not, often asks for help like money, plane tickets, bills.

And the parent keeps giving, hoping things will improve. But the sad truth is, they don’t change.

They just get worse, feeling more entitled to what you have. It’s hard to accept, especially when it’s your own child, but recognizing their behavior is the first step to protecting yourself.

Identifying the Signs and Protecting Yourself

Imagine falling for someone who turned out to be a narcissist. You probably figured it out after a while, maybe even with help from resources like this one now you read.

Narcissists don’t care about anyone, not even their own kids.

They made you fall for them, then either dumped you or you ended it yourself. It’s hard if that happened, but every narcissistic relationship has to end eventually.

But then comes the healing phase, or maybe you’ve already healed, and suddenly, the narcissist pops back into your life.

They’ll say anything to get you back: “I’ve changed, I miss you.” and more promises.

But think for a moment: How many chances did you give them? How many signs did you ignore? You trusted them, thought they’d change, but it was all a lie. They just wanted to take everything from you like your time, money, love, and health.

Protecting Yourself from Narcissistic Manipulation

Once you’ve healed and moved on, you might still think about the narcissist. They might even try to contact you again, but don’t let them. During the relationship, you gave them many chances, but you can’t keep doing that.

That’s why it’s important to stay away from them completely like block them, delete them, and cut off anyone connected to them.

Sometimes, you might feel strong enough to deal with them, but unblocking them tells them you’re ready to talk. It’s like giving them permission to hurt you again.

They’ll see it as a challenge, a chance to take advantage of you once more.

Even if you’ve seen through their lies, unblocking them shows you’re still affected. It’s like inviting them back into your life. Blocking says, “I want nothing to do with you.” Unblocking says the opposite: “I’m open to talking.” Don’t give them that power. Stay strong. Don’t let them back in.

I. Recognizing Manipulative Behavior and Setting Boundaries

These people will try anything to get to you. Like your brother or sister, for example. They see you doing well, with your happy family, and suddenly they want to visit you for a whole month in the summer.

But you remember the last times they visited, how they caused problems with your kids and spouse, how they said strange things that confused you.

Back then, you didn’t know about narcissism, but now you do.

So you ask yourself, “What do I get out of letting them stay? Not much, probably. They might ask for money, help with a car loan, or expect me to pay for everything while they don’t contribute anything. They might even try to start trouble or say bad things about me.

After their visit, you’ll wonder why you agreed to it again.

Just because they’re family doesn’t mean you owe them everything. You’ve already done a lot for them, you don’t need to give them another free month of staying with you and causing drama.

That’s why it’s not a good idea.

Everyone deals with these situations differently. Some talk to the narcissist, some cut them off completely, and others try to avoid them. Whatever you decide, make sure it’s what’s best for you.

II. Recognizing Manipulative Behavior and Setting Boundaries

The main point of the article is simple: once you know someone is a narcissist, stay away from them completely. Don’t talk to their friends or anyone who talks to them. Don’t unblock them, even if you feel weak. Don’t believe their lies about being in trouble, going to therapy, or changing for the better.

Narcissists don’t really change, they just change their mask and the words they use to deceive you.

A narcissist will do anything to get back into your life. They will say whatever it takes to win you over. Think about how your relationship ended last time, I can tell it probably ended badly, with you getting blamed for everything.

They might have said you didn’t do enough in the relationship, but that’s not true.

You did your best, as you always do. But the narcissist kept taking from you, and when they were done, they left. Then they came back wanting more. This is what narcissists do.

Understanding the Narcissistic Cycle and Prioritizing Your Own Healing

Narcissists move from person to person, whether they’re family or not, taking whatever they can. After causing drama, confusion, chaos, and damage, they move on to someone else.

The person they left behind eventually feels better and thinks, “Maybe they weren’t so bad, I can handle them now.” But the truth is, you can’t.

The narcissist has only gotten better at manipulating and will come back to repeat the cycle.

In the cycle of narcissistic abuse, the only constant is the narcissist, not you. No matter how many chances you’ve given them, whether from birth, if they’re a sibling, or during any relationship, you’ve given them enough opportunities.

It’s time to say no, the most powerful word. Remember, saying no to them means saying yes to yourself.

It’s time to set boundaries and stop feeling sorry for the narcissist. Focus on doing what’s right for yourself: heal, learn, grow, teach, and become more aware and empowered. Reject their lies, sob stories, and claims of being a victim.

Recognizing the Differences Between You and the Narcissist to Protect Yourself

Everyone’s life goes off track at some point, sometimes even multiple times. Narcissists are no different, but there is one big difference: narcissists want to destroy other people’s lives.

Unlike you, they try to ruin relationships and create conflicts. They want to take others’ time, money, energy, and effort. That’s not what you do.

Narcissists can’t self-reflect, apologize, or take responsibility.

They never think they are wrong. That’s not you, the differences between you and the narcissist are clear. You are like day and they are like night.

They exploit your compassion and persistence, whether they are a parent, sibling, partner, or friend.

They use your empathy and determination to try to come back into your life.

They hope you’ll let them back in during a moment of weakness when you feel strong and think, “I’ve recovered, I can handle it this time.”

But they haven’t changed. They’ve just gotten better at manipulating, causing destruction, and creating chaos. They’ve perfected their smear campaigns, become experts at gaslighting, and are skilled at creating conflict.

Keeping Away, Shielding Yourself from Narcissistic Influence

Now that you know how harmful they can be, don’t let them back into your life, no matter what. You can still care about them from a distance, through prayers, meditation, or other ways, but keep them out of your life.

Don’t let them see you, talk to you, or email you.

Remember the hard times you went through with them. You’ve come out stronger than before, like a Phoenix rising from the ashes.

You’ve rebuilt yourself, but they haven’t changed. They’ve just moved on to someone new, without a care for you. When they left you, they didn’t think twice, they just found someone else to focus on.

Learning from Experience, Strengthening Yourself Against Narcissistic Manipulation

Narcissists can’t stay in one place, they’re always moving, switching relationships like changing shoes. They simply don’t care about people. But what they want, and have done before, is to get another chance to harm you, taking whatever they missed the first time.

But that’s not what you should do. You should realize how lucky you are to be out of that relationship, no matter who it was with.

You should be thankful for healing and for understanding what narcissism is.

Now you know signs and terms like gaslighting, stonewalling, and the silent treatment. You didn’t know this before, but you do now.

That’s why you shouldn’t let them back in. The responsibility is on you now. When you were in the relationship, you didn’t know what narcissism was, so you couldn’t be blamed. You were taken advantage of and manipulated.

Taking Control of Your Life After Narcissistic Abuse

Once the relationship ended, you had a light bulb moment and realized the cycle of narcissistic abuse. You learned about it and became aware. Now that you know, it’s like having a superpower.

It’s your job to keep away from them.

You need to set boundaries, say no, and live without drama, manipulation, and bad relationships. This is your new path, and you’re following it. You’re in charge of your life now, not anyone else.

You can sleep in or stay up late, read or write, learn or teach, travel — do whatever you want, but without the narcissist.

They don’t care about you, they just want to come back and hurt you. That’s how bad they are. They are like sinking ships, getting worse over time.

Wrap it up

So, don’t let them back in. Understand the message and keep the door locked on the narcissist. If not now, then when? Leave them in the past, focus on healing, learning, and making new connections.

Deal with old wounds, write, meditate, seek therapy, and put yourself first.

No more wasting time on the narcissist. They had their chances, but they always mess things up. It’s time to move forward without them, living our best lives. We’ve reached a point where their influence doesn’t matter. They’re blocked, and we don’t care.

We’ve learned from the past, live in the present, and don’t worry about the future. That’s the main idea.

This is Ryan signing off. Remember, you’re not alone. Stay strong, and keep the narcissist away.

I’ll say it once more: Stay away, no matter what. Letting them back in will only cause trouble.

I hope you found my article informative and helpful.

Please let me know what you think, God bless you, Love you all, and take care!

Check out our publication about Narcissism if you want to learn more or join us to write: Me and Narcissism

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