Let’s talk about making the most of your perspective from distance. I’ve wanted to cover this for some time. It’s about those situations where you’re out of a narcissistic relationship, or maybe you were never in one, but you see someone else stuck in one and feel helpless to assist.

We can’t just come and say, “Hey, I think your relationship is not healthy. Maybe check out this article written by Ryan Hwa, it could help.” Most likely, they won’t listen. They’ll probably insist, “Everything’s fine, Our relationship is okay.” But deep down, you sense something isn’t right.

Reflect on when you were in a similar situation. Back then, you didn’t fully grasp what was happening. If someone had suggested your relationship was challenging and suggested you look into it, you might have considered it, or maybe not right?

But one thing was certain. During that time, you were probably stuck in a strong emotional bond, unable to see clearly. It was hard to accept that the person you loved might be trying to hurt you or take everything from you.

Now that you’re part of this community, sharing your experiences and learning, you’ve gained valuable insight. You understand firsthand the difficulties of dealing with narcissistic behavior and the struggle to rebuild your life.

When you see others, perhaps a sibling or a relative struggling in a similar situation, you view their relationship through the lens of your own experiences with narcissism.

Sometimes, you wish you could gently tell them, “This relationship doesn’t seem healthy. I realize your well-being declining. You’re not your usual self. You’ve lost your laughter and your smile, you seem exhausted.”

Supporting Someone in a Narcissistic Relationship

It’s important to understand that people in narcissistic relationships often can’t see the problems clearly. They might still believe their partner is the same person they fell in love with, even if that’s not true.

That’s why sometimes it’s best to watch from a distance and not interfere directly.

I’m not saying you should confront your sibling or friend if you think they’re in a narcissistic relationship.

But if they come to you feeling mistreated or unsure about their relationship, that’s when you can gently offer your support and advice, if they ask for it.

There’s no one right way to handle this.

You have the freedom to decide what feels right for you. I’m sharing these thoughts based on my own experiences, hoping they help you navigate this sensitive situation.

Consider the possible outcomes carefully. For example, if you confront a sibling about their spouse’s behavior, they might tell their spouse, and you could end up losing your connection with them unintentionally.

The key is to approach this situation with caution and empathy once you realize a friend or sibling might be in a difficult relationship with a narcissist.

Handling Complex Relationships Carefully

If you feel like having that tea and talking to them about it, go ahead. Do what feels right for you. Just know the risks, they might not understand and deny what you’re saying, or tell the narcissist about your conversation, which could cut you off completely.

This situation is similar to when grandparents are kept from seeing their grandchildren, often due to the narcissist causing problems.

They create divisions to isolate you just for being yourself. That’s why sometimes you have to keep your distance and observe.

So, how do you handle this Ryan? There are different ways, but one easy way is to stay aware.

If your grandchildren or great-grandchildren live far away and you can’t see them, this is a common issue happening around the world right now, as I write and you read.

Balancing Influence and Independence

If you or someone you know relates to this situation, remember that sometimes loving from distance is the only option. You can hope they’ll reach out one day, but life doesn’t promise anything. We can’t predict if these grown children or grandchildren will decide to reconnect.

What we do know is that the more they distance themselves from the narcissist’s control, the more they can think for themselves.

Whether that day comes or not, they’re still under the narcissist’s influence, which the narcissist uses to their advantage.

Imagine a young adult, if they rely on the narcissist for money and a place to live, the narcissist holds power over them.

These young adults might pursue college, comparing their upbringing to others’, or they might work to become independent. Not everyone can break free easily, many face unfamiliar challenges because of the narcissistic parent’s influence, making their life more complicated.

Guiding Through Lessons and Challenges

So, by keeping your distance and observing, you’ve spent time raising your kids or grandkids well. You’ve taught them values, shown them right from wrong, and been there consistently. You’ve given them life lessons, warned them about trusting others, and taught them to set boundaries.

Trusting your instincts and watching out for red flags have been really important.

If these young ones have taken the lessons to heart and managed to break free from a narcissistically abusive situation, whether it involved one parent or both, they’re now on their own path.

They’ve taken the steps needed to get where they are today.

But if they’re still under the control of the narcissist, there’s not much you can do right now.

As I mentioned earlier, it’s about focusing on what you can control.

After dealing with a narcissistic relationship, this means deciding carefully who you spend time with, making intentional choices about what you do, and taking time to heal and think things through.

Writing a journal, pray or meditating, and recognizing your own strength are all part of this process. You’ve come through a difficult relationship that almost broke you, but now you’re stronger and living a vibrant, fulfilling life.

Guiding Relationships with Young Adults

I hope you’re moving towards a place where the narcissist and anyone from that time no longer bother you. If there were supportive people who checked in on you and I hope there were. Maybe you have supportive people in your life now.

When it comes to what you can control like communication think about this. If the narcissist is using parental alienation with your kids or grandkids (they’re the same here), and they’re legal adults, like 18 or something, you can reach out to them.

But whether they respond is totally up to them.

Let these young adults figure things out on their own. Don’t label the parent as a narcissist or blame them.

What’s important is letting the kids decide for themselves whether to reconnect with you. That’s the path I suggest, I hope this makes sense to you.

Recognizing Signs of Struggle

If you notice someone like a sibling, neighbor, coworker or who seems to be struggling in a difficult relationship (we don’t have to call it narcissism), take notice. Maybe they look tired, can’t sleep well, or their weight is changing.

When you ask how they’re doing and they admit things aren’t right at home, that’s a big sign something’s wrong.

Everyone faces hard times, and dealing with a relationship that feels abusive, like we’ve been through, is really hard. But the person might not even realize how bad things are.

They might not know they’re in a bad situation rather than choosing to stay in it.

Wisdom is crucial here, often learned after surviving a tough relationship. Some of you might still be living with a difficult person because of children, planning your way out as they get older. It’s important to have a plan ready and take action when it’s the right time.

Planning Ahead for Change

Maybe today isn’t the day for big changes. It might be a year from now, or even three years, but having a plan is key. I’ve been emphasizing how important it is to have an exit plan lately.

Toxic relationships really wear you down, physically and financially.

You avoid going home, spending extra time at the gym or library like me, hoping they’re asleep when you finally get back. But peace is short-lived, they wake up and blame you for something.

If you’re in this situation, consider leaving if you can, unless you’re staying for the kids.

Now, about that coworker I mentioned earlier. They might not realize how bad their relationship is. Whether you share articles or videos with them is your call, especially if you’re not that close.

Remember, when you’re deeply stuck, would you have listened to advice? It’s tough to say, but chances are, no one offered you help when you needed it, keep that in mind.

Recognizing Narcissism in Daily Life

It’s a profound truth that understanding narcissism often comes when you’re ready to learn. You might have seen narcissistic traits around you for years, but it’s only when you grasp what narcissistic abuse means that it truly hits home.

Not everyone gets this insight or knows how to use the advice they receive.

Taking actions like cutting off contact, blocking the narcissist, and distancing from their supporters isn’t always easy.

Each relationship involving a narcissist is unique and complicated. For example, you might rely on a financially supportive but narcissistic parent or live next to someone who just married a narcissist without knowing their true nature.

Spotting a narcissist can happen quickly, seen in their charming behavior, manipulative tactics, or how they interact.

They’re everywhere, so it’s vital to use what you’ve learned by setting boundaries, not always trying to please others, and knowing when to speak up or step back.

People often don’t realize they’re in a narcissistic relationship until it’s too late like me, or they’re deeply hurt, struggling to reconcile the loving image they had with the painful reality. Narcissists only care about themselves, disregarding others’ feelings to fulfill their own desires.

Witnessing Post-Narcissistic Relationships

Now that we know this, it’s clear that narcissists can’t love or understand others’ feelings. They’re only focused on using people or using them again. But when you’re watching a relationship from distance, it’s hard.

Imagine a big holiday gathering after surviving a relationship with a narcissist. You’re wiser now, living your best life. As you mingle, you notice behaviors like one partner mistreating the other, flirting with others, or ignoring their spouse, It’s sad to see.

You think to yourself, “It’s hard to watch.” You see one person alone in a corner while the other laughs with friends.

Disrespectful actions are everywhere.

Coming through that tough relationship is like gaining a special strength, not taught in anywhere. It comes from surviving the narcissistic cycle, accepting things as they are, and knowing this journey was inevitable.

It wasn’t easy, but it shaped your life’s path.

I hope you didn’t have to go through this, but if you did, remember true change begins with a spark. I hope now you’re finding a new kind of strength, showing how strong and resilient you truly are.

Understanding Relationships at Social Gatherings

At gatherings like that, you quickly see who’s respected, who’s made fun of, who gets blamed for everything, who’s taken advantage of, who’s always saying sorry, and who’s always running errands.

These roles are crystal clear.

Sometimes, you might want to talk to someone privately and say, “Hey, I don’t think your relationship is healthy.” But I’d suggest holding off.

When someone is ready to understand their situation, they’ll seek advice on their own, usually after facing more challenges.

Jumping in could cause more problems and upset their life, which wouldn’t be helpful.

If that person from the holiday event, clearly struggling in their relationship, ever came to you for advice, it would be unusual. But if they did, it would be a chance to gently offer some perspective on what they’re going through.

Understanding Post-Relationship Realizations

Everyone goes through life on their own, forming different kinds of relationships, some strong, some not so good, and sometimes even ones with narcissistic traits.

The key thing is, often you don’t realize what’s happening until after the relationship has fallen apart.

It leaves you feeling hurt, maybe even abandoned, with your support system shattered and nowhere to turn.

Many of us, when we hit our lowest point, searching online for things like “when my partner won’t talk to me” or “dealing with anger issues.” That’s where we start learning about narcissistic abuse.

It was my journey, and maybe yours too. It’s how we figured out what was going wrong.

So, when you’re watching such relationships from a distance, whether it’s your ex and their parents keeping you from your kids or you feeling pushed away as a grandparent.

Remember, you can still keep love in your heart for your family. You can pray for them and hope they come back to you someday. Whether they do or not, that’s their choice to make.

Guiding Supportive Roles After Narcissistic Relationships

Think about another situation, maybe it’s a neighbor, sibling, or coworker. You know they’re in a tough relationship, but they don’t realize it. If they come to you for advice, which might not happen. You can choose to share what you know, but it’s okay if you decide not to.

After getting out of a narcissistic relationship, life slows down a lot.

All the drama, chaos, and emotional stress like gaslighting and silent treatments are behind you.

Now, you have the chance to think carefully about whether to get involved in someone else’s relationship issues. If they ask for your help, it’s different, they think you might have some answers. If you do, and you want to help, then go ahead.

Throughout our discussion, I’ve focused on what happens after narcissistic relationships. We know how much damage these relationships can cause like kids, grandkids, and other family members often get caught up in it.

But once you’ve found peace and healed in your own life, it’s about being positive and kind in how you deal with others.

If someone comes to you whether it’s family, a neighbor, or a friend in a similar situation. You can share what you’ve learned. Just remember, it’s best not to give advice unless they ask for it, that’s my take on it.

Wrap it up

Feel free to share your thoughts below if you’ve noticed a coworker or friends in a tough relationship. Perhaps you’ve seen them being treated badly at the company year after year.

If it’s visible at events like Bajram or Christmas gatherings, it might reflect what goes on behind closed doors, they might just not realize it yet.

That wraps up this article. This is Ryan, signing off. Remember, true change begins with a spark. I care for each and every one of you.

It’s important to note that after surviving a narcissistic relationship, many of us become our strongest selves.

There’s who you were before you met the narcissist, then dealing with toxicity and feeling devalued, and finally, the healed version of yourself who has learned from it all.

If this sounds familiar, know that you’re strong and capable. This article reminds us that overcoming trauma and healing from narcissistic abuse is achievable.

It’s a journey of growth and learning.

Embrace your newfound strength and wisdom as a superpower. Use it wisely to help others when you can, while also taking care of yourself and thriving.

I hope you found my article informative and helpful.

Please let me know what you think, God bless you, Love you all, and take care!

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