When you were a kid, maybe you just called it gossip. Someone talking bad about you, twisting your words, or making up stories so others don’t like you. It was annoying, but it didn’t really hurt much. But now, as an adult, you see it’s not just small talk anymore.
This is a real smear campaign, but what if it doesn’t work? What if people start to see the truth and don’t believe the lies? That’s when everything changes, and their plan starts to fall apart.
I wrote about this before, but let’s say it again. When you were a kid, everything was important, like your friends, what people think about you, and how they treat you. If someone said bad things about you, it hurt, but after some time, life moved on. But now, as an adult, it’s not the same. When people tell lies about you, it’s not just about feelings, it can ruin your name, your relationships, and even your peace of mind.
Narcissists know this, and that’s why they do it. They have been doing this their whole life. Maybe they were the same type of kids who lied about you before, trying to make others turn against you so they could have control. Maybe it’s not the same person, but it’s the same bad energy, the same toxic action, just with a different face.
The unfair treatment started when you were a kid, and the narcissist has been trying to dim your light ever since.
When you were a kid. There was always that one person, the narcissist or whatever you want to call them trying to make your life harder. They probably saw how kind, caring, and bright you were, and it made them upset. That feeling didn’t just stay in school, it followed you all through high school, college, and beyond. Then you met the narcissist as an adult, and here we are.
When the smear campaign starts to fall apart, you might be surprised. It happens more often than you think. The truth is, the smear campaign didn’t start recently. It started the moment you met the narcissist, even if you didn’t see it then.
If you grew up in a family with narcissistic behavior, you probably know what I mean. Maybe it was your mom, dad, or a sibling. Did they let you be yourself? Probably not. Instead of supporting who you really are, they tried to put out your shining light. They didn’t want you to see how strong and capable you actually are.
That’s why, if you grew up in this kind of family, you might have been called the black sheep or white sheep. You did everything they asked and more because they knew you could handle it. They took advantage of how much you wanted to please, but they never really saw or appreciated the true you.
If your sibling was the narcissist, they would have seen that you were the one who always did what was asked. You followed the rules, worked hard, and didn’t complain. So, you were the one who got all the responsibility. Your sibling, on the other hand, probably didn’t do much. They could do whatever they wanted, and nothing happened to them. That’s what happens when you grow up in a narcissistic family.
You were the “black sheep” or “white sheep,” the one who held everything together. But you were treated way different than your sibling. They had no rules or boundaries, they got everything they wanted without any consequences. Your parents probably just let them do whatever they felt like.
This is how narcissists are made, they learn to act this way. In a narcissistic family, the rules are never fair. Some people get special treatment, while others are the ones who have to do all the work.
The smear campaign was never just about you, it was their way of hiding who they really are while trying to dim your light
When they try to ruin your name but it doesn’t work, the truth comes out. You start to see that this has been going on much longer than you thought. There have always been people around you who were jealous or envious of you, but you didn’t realize it before.
Back then, you didn’t know about narcissism because no one really told you about it. It was hard to understand why someone would want to hurt you or tell lies about you, but that’s what narcissists do. They spread lies to make themselves feel better, to turn people against each other, and to ruin relationships. They make others feel confused and question what they know, so they can stay in control. This is how they create problems and manipulate everything around them.
Will they go to the event? Or will they not come? Will the smear campaign keep getting worse? Well, handling a smear campaign doesn’t have just one answer, but I can tell you this will help.
First, if you’re going through it now, I feel for you. Second, if you’ve been through it before, you know exactly what I mean. And third, if you’ve learned about narcissism, you probably understand who they are, how they work, and why they act like they do. The smear campaign is one of their games. They use it all the time in the relationship, especially when it’s ending, to change how others see you, making you look bad to fit their story.
Maybe they told others you had problems with drinking or drugs. Maybe they said you were not a good parent or that you were lazy. Maybe they spread stories saying you never worked or didn’t help at home. Whatever they said, it was all part of their plan to make you look bad.
When you were with the narcissist, you were always fixing problems they started on purpose. You probably tried to make everyone happy, always giving and caring. You were someone who wanted to help, kind and loving, and you worked hard to make the relationship work, even if it cost you a lot.
It could be anyone, a parent, brother or sister, partner, or coworker. Maybe it was a neighbor or someone from a community you joined. But no matter who they were, if the narcissist was around, they saw who you were and tried to separate you from the things you cared about.
Why? Because they feel jealous. They don’t want to see anyone do well or be happy with themselves. Deep down, narcissists are just scared and act like bullies. They feel empty inside, always nervous, and they always compare themselves to others. That’s why they spend so much time on their phones, looking for new things to distract them, finding ways to control others, and comparing what they have to what other people have, always trying to get more.
When you’re with a narcissist, there is no peace. There’s no real connection or teamwork, only distance. All you get is manipulation, lies, confusion, and disrespect.
All those bad things I mentioned? That’s who the narcissist really is. But you? You’re full of light and goodness, the narcissist saw that and took advantage of it. They drained your energy, trying to make you feel small. They filled you with their negativity, hoping it would dim your brightness so you wouldn’t shine, now or in the future.
The smear campaign might feel big now, but one day, the truth will come out, and the lies won’t matter anymore.
Narcissists always look for good people who don’t know their own worth. They like to target people who feel unsure, like someone new at work, in a community, or on social media. They take advantage of people who are still trying to figure things out.
That’s why you see them everywhere, on dating apps, using fake accounts, and sneaking around online. They keep their flying monkeys close, telling them lies to spread. Even if you don’t realize, these people stay around you, watching, getting in your way, and keeping you stuck in their trap.
This is just how narcissists work. They always do this, and they won’t stop because they love drama. They need attention to feel good about themselves. They want people to believe their fake stories, trust their lies, and take their side when they talk bad about you.
The truth is, trying to ruin your name won’t work forever. The people who believe them so easily? They were never really on your side. If they cared, they would ask you, “Hey, I heard something about you. Is it true?” But they didn’t. They just believed the lies, that tells you everything you need to know.
Nobody asked questions because they were too busy believing the lies from the narcissist. They just accepted everything, not thinking at all, trusting the fake image the narcissist made. And when someone is spreading lies about you behind your back, how can you even defend yourself?
You didn’t expect it because, in your heart, you were thinking, “Why would anyone make stories about me? Why would they try to ruin my name?” But now you understand, the narcissist always does this. They did it before you met them, they did it when you were with them, and they’re still doing it now.
When the narcissist gets exposed or when someone finally understands that the smear campaign was a lie, they usually do one of two things.
First, they might try to apologize and say, “Sorry, I didn’t understand the situation. It wasn’t you, it was your ex or whoever said bad things about you. They’re the problem.” But let’s be real, this won’t happen anytime soon, so don’t wait for it.
Second, the person who believed the smear campaign might start to see the narcissist for who they really are. They’ll realize things are off, but instead of saying something, they’ll stay quiet. They don’t want the narcissist to turn on them or to know they figured it out. And honestly, that’s probably what will happen most of the time.
Another way could be that someone who starts to see the truth about the narcissist might try to say something. But if that happens, watch out, their life is about to get really complicated. They’ll become the next target of the narcissist’s games.
The truth is, the smear campaign has always been happening, and it won’t stop. The only way to get away from it is to completely walk away, stop talking to them, go no contact, block the narcissist and anyone connected to them, every flying monkey, and anyone involved in their lies.
As for the people who believed the lies but never asked you what’s really going on? Well, now you know. They’ve shown their true colors, and now it’s time for them to go.
I know this may be hard for you to accept, but it’s the truth. It’s not what you want to hear, but it’s how things are. If you keep trying to fight the lies about you, you’re just making it worse. By getting involved, you’re giving more fuel to the fire, and that’s exactly what the narcissist wants.
They want to bring you down to their level, to get you stuck in their bad energy. They want you to argue with them and keep the drama going. That’s why they spread rumors, lie, and play mind games. They ignore you, blame you for everything, and make trouble. They just want to get some kind of reaction from you.
The narcissist is waiting for you to finally lose your patience, this is called reactive abuse. It happens after they keep pushing and testing you in the relationship for so long until one day, you just can’t take it anymore. Maybe you shouted or said something you didn’t mean. That’s exactly what they were hoping for, reactive abuse happens more than you might think.
If you feel like you’re about to react like that, don’t. It won’t help you, it’s what the narcissist wants. They’ve been pushing you to do this on purpose, trying to get you to their level. They’ve been playing with your emotions to make you react.
When the smear campaign starts, especially after the relationship is over (or even if you’re still in it), your first thought might be to defend yourself or explain what’s happening. But please don’t do it. It’s better to stay calm, stay strong, and understand that anyone who believes the smear probably has their own issues or just doesn’t care about you.
The smear campaign? It’s all lies with no real reason. There’s no truth in it, no proof to show it’s real. That’s why the narcissist moves on fast, looking for their next person to use. They want someone new to deceive and make believe in their fake story. After they get what they want, they will just leave that person like they did with you, and move on to someone else.
The narcissist will keep hurting people, moving from one person to another, always doing the same things. It’s what they know, what they’ve always done, and what they will always do.
You might think, “But I know this narcissist. They’ve been with someone for many years, they don’t act like that.” But the truth is, you don’t see what happens when the door is closed. You don’t see them when they go to bed, or when they wake up. What happens behind closed doors, you will never really know.
I know it might look like everything is okay on the outside but trust me, if one of those people is a toxic narcissist, there is abuse every day. Sadly, for the person with them, it has been happening for many years. By now, they might not see the truth. I’m not saying it’s impossible for them to realize, but they are so stuck in the narcissist’s control that they either become toxic too or feel trapped and don’t know how to escape.
But listen, the smear campaign will fall apart in the end. You might think, “It didn’t fail for me. So many people believed those lies about me, thinking I was this or that.” I get it, I understand how you feel.
But the truth is, all of that is fake. If any of it were true, you could say, “Yeah, I made some mistakes, and I wasn’t perfect.” But that’s not who you are. You gave everything you had, and you did your best.
One day, the people who believed the lies will see the truth, but by then, it might be too late for them.
This is just another thing they do, and it has been happening for a long time. You probably didn’t notice it until the relationship ended. Then, someone might have said, “So and so is telling lies about you” and you were probably shocked, thinking, “That’s not true!” While you’re reacting, they’re watching you, trying to see if you’re lying. They might start to wonder if the rumors are fake, but you never really know what people will think.
What’s really important is once you realize who the narcissist or toxic person is, it’s time to protect yourself. That means cutting them off completely, no talking, blocking them, deleting everything, and staying away from anyone who is still part of their drama.
This is the way to go, it’s what we need to do. So don’t make the smear campaign worse, don’t believe all the lies the narcissist is saying. People will believe what they want to believe.
What the people who believe the smear campaign don’t understand and I’ve written this a lot before, and I’ll mention it again, is that their life will also fall apart. And when that happens, they better hope they are even a little bit as strong as you. Because most people aren’t.
They should also hope they don’t become the next target of the narcissist. Anyone, I mean anyone close to the narcissist can get pulled into their drama. This could be their kids, parents, partners, friends, co-workers, or even their neighbors. Anyone near them can become a target too.
If you’re listening to the lies or believing what the narcissist says without checking for yourself, then you’re just following what they want you to believe. You’re not looking at the facts or making your own decision. You’re not taking time to see what’s really going on, and that’s your fault. You have to open your eyes and see the truth. If you don’t, you missed it. Honestly, maybe it’s too late now because the narcissist already got you.
They manipulated you, they made you believe all their lies. Maybe a lot of time has passed, maybe even years, and now you see that you were fooled too. Or maybe you’ve started acting like them, maybe you’ve become toxic too.
If you didn’t check on someone after they were left or after the relationship ended, especially if you said you were their friend or supporter but didn’t do anything to help, didn’t even try, then it’s on you. You know who you are. And you’re out there, all over the world.
Trust me, one day, you will face the consequences. I’m not wishing bad things on anyone, that’s not my way, and I won’t start now. But listen up, if you keep playing with fire, you will get burned.
Back when we were in that narcissistic relationship, we didn’t even know what narcissism was. But now we know, we learned, we set boundaries, we learned how to say no, that’s a powerful word. And most importantly, we realized that we must come first, our well-being matters.
We’ve been through a lot and got stronger, something that people who support the narcissist could never handle, no matter how much time goes by. We fixed our lives, stood up, and kept going by ourselves, with almost no help. But here we are now.
Now, we’ve reached a point where we just don’t care anymore. We are so disconnected, you probably wouldn’t even understand. You’re too busy believing the lies and the stories the narcissist is spreading. And I bet now there’s not just one lie about you, but many. The funny part? They’re talking about you too, you just don’t know it yet. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re the one causing the drama.
The truth is, everyone’s life changes eventually. Everyone’s. It happened to me, it’s happening to you, and it will happen to others too.
