For example, if you experience a home fire that destroys everything you own, you can’t forget it, and now you know the devastating impact fires can have on people’s lives.

In a narcissistic relationship, you face things you never expected. You endure behaviors that seem unreal, hear words of abuse that should never be said, and may even suffer physical harm. It doesn’t just hurt emotionally and spiritually, it can also affect your financial.

Unlike healthy relationships based on trust and respect, narcissistic relationships are fragile and unstable like a house of cards or shifting sands.

The narcissist first looks at you, seeing your kindness, stability, and maybe your empathy.

They see a chance: to control your feelings, use your money, or exploit your trust to benefit themselves. This manipulation is what the narcissistic relationship is built on, leaving you dealing with shattered hopes and deep emotional pain afterward.

Understanding Narcissists in Your New Environment

Imagine you’ve just moved to a new place maybe a city, town, or even a new country. Suddenly, you realize there’s a narcissist in your building or nearby, actively trying to connect with you until you learn how to protect yourself and set boundaries.

Narcissists have been around for a long time, but now with smartphones, the internet, and social media, they’re more noticeable than ever.

You might have found and started reading articles about narcissism on Medium, a platform known for its blend of learning and enjoyment. My goal is to empower you with the knowledge that you come first, always.

Social media is everywhere, and people are always on their phones. But let’s focus on understanding and moving past what you’ve experienced.

Think back to when you first met the narcissist.

Maybe you didn’t know about narcissism then. They seemed caring, sending heart emojis, cute pictures, and long, heartfelt messages. Now, it’s about seeing things clearly and moving forward.

The Cycle of Fake Promises and Emotional Manipulation

What happened next was predictable. You felt like you had to reply with the same amount of affection, maybe adding even more emojis and sweet messages. They played the texting game expertly, pretending to care deeply with fake love and empathy.

They started talking about moving in together, moving to new places, buying things for them, even marriage and starting a family.

This cycle kept repeating.

Before you knew it, you were living with the narcissist or they had moved in with you. Plans for marriage were made, but soon after, they started treating you poorly.

It was a side of them you didn’t know existed, but they knew it well because they had done it before and were doing it again, manipulating people through their phones every day.

This constant behavior is why narcissists can’t stay still, they’re always on their smartphones, seeking attention constantly. Considering all this, think about what you can’t forget: the narcissist wasn’t there when you were sick, in debt, or when your business was not going well. Think about it, were they really there? Probably not.

Reflections on Deceptive Wedding Vows

Let’s reflect about your wedding day. Did the narcissist have the same intentions as you? No, they didn’t. They were seeking validation from the ceremony, people, and the whole event.

If the narcissist married you, or you married them, their promises weren’t sincere.

They saw their vows as permission to mistreat you throughout the relationship, which only got worse over time.

You can’t forget this.

What about the photos and videos from that time with the narcissist? Were they images of happiness and togetherness? Or did they often stand apart from you in the photos, with someone new in between? Did they hide their wedding ring in the pictures?

Take a closer look and see for yourself.

What you see in them it stays with you. Now, you’re awakening, becoming aware, and gaining strength. You realize that narcissists are everywhere, and if you’ve left a narcissistic relationship, you’re fortunate, strong, and blessed.

Achieving Peace and Progress After Narcissistic Relationships

Now, you have the choice to cut off contact with the narcissist if you want. If that’s not possible, try using the Grey Rock method: fade away from their attention, be less interesting, and don’t respond much. I’ll skip this part in the article because I talk about it in almost every article.

By now, you should understand that being in a relationship with a narcissist never helped you in the past, isn’t helping now, and won’t in the future.

It’s important to realize that what you’ve seen in them remains with you, but you can heal. Take things slower, make progress, and aim for emotional detachment, feeling less affected by things by taking time for yourself.

Address old trauma from childhood, consider therapy, write in a journal, meditate, read or watch educational content, and think about the people around you.

As you learn more about narcissism and its effects, you’ll naturally think about your family, friends, old friends, neighbors, and coworkers.

Remember I don’t actively search for narcissism in life, it’s the last thing on my mind. Live your life at your own speed and in your own way, your life should be peaceful without drama or manipulation, filled with opportunities and chances for success after leaving a narcissistic relationship.

Healing and Moving Forward

Because you can’t forget what you’ve seen in them, you’ve been through the cycle of narcissistic abuse. You’ve faced challenges, come out stronger, and now you’re healing or well on your way. Whether this is your first time reading content like this or not, you’re in the right place.

You’ve found this article at the perfect time, there are no coincidences.

Just as I’m supposed to write this article now in the tropical rain, you’re meant to read or listening it wherever you are, whether getting ready for bed, waking up, in class, taking a break from work, or exercising.

If your relationship recently ended and you’re struggling with thoughts of going back to the narcissist, I understand. I’ve been there too.

But the truth is, the relationship has run its course, it’s over. If you ended it yourself, you’ve shown incredible strength, and I admire you for that. If you were discarded, I empathize with you. I know how tough it can be, but as you lift yourself up and process what happened with the narcissist and others involved, you’ll realize that going no contact is the best way forward.

Still, what you’ve seen in them it stays with you.

Remember the birthdays, holidays, and events disrupted by the narcissist. Think about the conversations where you tried to express yourself, only to be met with indifference or change. These memories stay with you, shaping your understanding and guiding your path ahead.

Know Your Self-Value, Moving Beyond Narcissistic Manipulation

Then the narcissist might say to you, “Stop being so sensitive. What’s wrong with you? Toughen up! You’re the one causing problems here. Your Family warned me not to marry you, I can see them from their eyes, they seems worry about me.” They use these words to unsettle you, avoiding the truth because narcissists struggle with facing reality. On the contrary, you value truth, which shines brightly within you.

You can’t forget what you’ve seen.

That’s why many people, after leaving a narcissistic relationship and gaining wisdom, prioritize themselves completely.

They put themselves first. They no longer stretch themselves too thin, excessively please others, or hesitate to say “no,” which is a powerful word.

This transformation takes time quite a bit, but as you progress you’ll find a calm indifference.

You’ll realize that life is a journey meant to be lived your way with peace, abundance, and the freedom to start anew with those who truly care about you.

You no longer have to bend over backward or meet every demand. In the past, these actions didn’t serve your well-being, but now you’re forging a path that honors your well-being and dreams.

Understanding the Aftermath, Reflecting on Narcissistic Relationships

We met a narcissist who took advantage of our kindness, drive, passion, love, and energy, deeply affecting us. Now, we’re healing. We’ve faced some of the worst behaviors imaginable but have come out stronger. We’ve gone through tough times but are now on a healing journey.

Most people don’t go through what we did with a narcissist.

Many don’t understand the true colors of such relationships or how damaging they can be. Some never heal because they don’t realize they were dealing with a narcissist, it’s hard to see the truth sometimes. Others ignore it and move on, pretending the relationship was different.

People react in different ways to these situations.

Some like us, dig deep and realize how tough our experience was. We’ve seen things and dealt with behaviors we never expected.

We noticed the narcissist’s mask slipping long before we fully understood who they were. We saw their immaturity, how they reacted to being told no, and how different they were in private compared to in public.

Lessons Learned, Reshaping Life After Narcissistic Relationships

You’ve seen firsthand how bad narcissists can be. You’ve noticed their shallowness and emptiness, but you’ve also discovered your own strength. That’s something important to focus on. Getting through their cycles, rising strong from tough times, has shown how tough you are.

It’s changed your life forever.

Before meeting a narcissist, perhaps you had plans for your future. Now, after the relationship, you realize those plans no longer fit. Instead, these paths feel right for you now.

The lessons from dealing with narcissism have reshaped your life’s path, just as they have for me. Once you’ve seen what you’ve seen, you can’t forget it.

When it comes to focus, I often say the past is done, and we can’t change it.

We must learn from it, especially from dealing with narcissists, and use those lessons today. Also, don’t try to guess the future. It didn’t help before, and it won’t now or later because no one knows what will happen tomorrow. Focus on now, it’s all we really have. Stay present and live in this moment.

Recognizing Narcissistic Tactics, From Ignorance to Empowerment

That’s the journey. It’s something you couldn’t do when you were in the narcissistic relationship. Back then, you were on an emotional roller coaster, living minute by minute, knowing the narcissist could manipulate you, ignore you, get angry, blame you, play mind games, blame you, copy you, or disappear.

The narcissist has a toolbox of tactics, too many to mention here but these actions were all new to you back then.

Now, they’re familiar because you can’t forget what you’ve seen.

Today, after the narcissistic relationship, you can quickly recognize manipulation, understand mind games, and see through the silent treatment.

You know how narcissists act, they all use the same methods. But during the relationship, you didn’t know what you were dealing with because you didn’t know about narcissism.

Now, you understand and are taking things slower.

You can see these signs now, it’s like having a superpower. Let me ask you something, if you knew then what you know now. Would you have started that relationship with a narcissist? I don’t think so. With your current wisdom, you wouldn’t have taken that chance. It wouldn’t help you, it would only try to bring you down again.

Finding Your Strength, Moving Forward After Dealing with Narcissistic Abuse

With the wisdom you have now, you should use these tools and understand that coming out of that experience was a hidden blessing. Did you choose to go through it? No. Would I want to go through it? No. But once you’ve healed properly, you see the world with a new perspective a best version of yourself, with clear boundaries.

You see things differently because of what you’ve been through.

You can’t forget what you’ve been through. When you try to explain the toxic behaviors you endured to others, they might think you’re exaggerating or imagining things.

But those things really happened.

Why did you write down the narcissist’s behaviors? Why did you doubt yourself when you experienced gaslighting, feeling like you were in a dream? You knew the truth, but during the devaluation phase, you doubted yourself and believed the narcissist’s lies.

Now, after the narcissistic relationship, what’s changed? You believe in yourself.

You know your strength and the narcissist’s weaknesses. Yes, they’re master manipulators who once controlled you. Can they do it again? No. Do you have boundaries now? Yes. Do you understand that you can’t erase what you’ve seen? Absolutely.

You know the truth about what happened.

No one can change your past experiences. Remember, your truth is your truth. You don’t erase it like the narcissist does. You don’t manipulate others. You stand by what you know.

Wrap it up

It’s understanding that once you’ve seen something, you can’t just forget it. What you see in them it stays with you, this message is powerful. But it takes time to fully understand. Imagine how most people might witness a home fire, think, ‘I hope everyone’s okay,’ and then move on, forgetting about it by the next day or week.

But after leaving a narcissistic relationship, the things you witnessed kept accumulating, needing careful processing.

That’s why healing from this relationship is crucial. Many people may not understand what you’ve gone through.

That’s why it’s important to slow down, rebuild, and accept that some things can’t be unseen. Everyone, that’s the article. This is Ryan, true change begins with a spark.

I hope you found my article informative and helpful.

Please let me know what you think, God bless you, Love you all, and take care!

Check out our publication about Narcissism if you want to learn more or join us to write: Me and Narcissism

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