While you were in it, there were many moments when you worked hard to make it better. They will say like “Hey, can we talk about our relationship? It seems like things have changed, and we need to discuss what’s next.”

Back then, you didn’t realize what kind of relationship you were in. Now you understand why you couldn’t fix it. I’ve mentioned often that these relationships will eventually end, which is hard to accept but true

While you were trying to work on things, the narcissist wasn’t interested in fixing anything. Lastly, the relationship wasn’t what you thought.

From the beginning, you were showing your weaknesses to the narcissist, especially when you tried to improve the relationship. You shared your wishes and worries, unknowingly giving them reasons to use against you later.

When you were focused on saving the relationship, think about these points. You sensed something was off, which is why you tried to fix and hold it together.

If you were engaged or married to the narcissist, or they were in your family or a close relationship, you were probably the one trying to keep everything steady. This applies whether it was a romantic relationship, a friendship, a business partnership, or even with a neighbor.

Knowing the Narcissist’s Manipulative Tactics

Back then, you didn’t understand the cycle of narcissistic abuse. You didn’t realize that when you shared details with them. Maybe even too much about what you wanted to fix in the relationship, you were giving them ammunition.

They listened carefully, maybe nodded or vaguely agreed, but their actions never matched their promises. They did whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted, often ignoring what was important to you.

When you tried to save the relationship, there were already issues.

It wasn’t what you thought, and the narcissist knew this all along. They saw you as someone they could use and take advantage of. Manipulating others, lying, and avoiding responsibility are things they are good at.

If you ever stood up to them or set boundaries, they probably pushed you away. Narcissists don’t like being exposed or challenged, they prefer people who don’t question them or set limits.

Dealing with False Promises and Manipulative Negotiations

When you were in the relationship, think back. I’m sure there were many times when you talked to the narcissist, saying, “Let’s talk about this and find a solution. It feels like I’m doing everything and you’re not putting in much effort, but this has to change.” That’s just one example of what you might have said.

And what did the narcissist do? They might have shrugged, told you to leave if you didn’t like it, bragged about how many people want them, or reluctantly agreed to do more, but only if you met their conditions.

Here’s another thing to remember, narcissists want to take more than they give.

They give you nothing but pain, sadness, manipulation, and similar things. But they’ll take as much as they can get. To them, everything is a negotiation, every interaction a deal.

There’s no love or empathy in how they act.

They see everything as something to be bargained for. They’ll say anything to get you to agree, but when it’s time to follow through, they often fall short.

I’m not saying this happens every time, but it happens often enough. And even once is too many. In any agreement whether in business or personal matters I hope both sides keep their promises.

I try to stick to my commitments every day, and I’m sure you do too.

But narcissists operate differently. They say one thing and do another, always thinking they’re smarter, that you won’t catch on, or that you won’t have the strength to leave and heal.

Struggling Against Manipulative Isolation

When you were trying to make things work in the relationship, remember this as I mentioned, there were already signs of trouble. You found yourself giving too much. You changed your daily routines like days, weeks, even months to fit what the narcissist wanted.

This is exactly what they wanted because they didn’t want you to have good, stable relationships with others. They tried to keep you away from your family, friends, hobbies, coworkers, and neighbors as much as they could.

The narcissist wanted you to be just like them. They wanted you to lose who you are to them, to be like a robot or a servant who would do anything they wanted. They wanted to make themselves look better at your expense.

That’s how they are: lazy, cowardly, bullies, and very good at making people do what they want.

Now you understand that every time you tried to talk to the narcissist about fixing or making the relationship better, they didn’t help.

They might have confused you with nonsense talk, ignored you, gave you the silent treatment, or even agreed with you for a moment. But any promises they made would be forgotten the next day, like the conversation never happened. Narcissists change their minds very easily.

The Self-Centered Path of Narcissistic Destruction

All they care about is themselves, they don’t care about anyone else except what others can give them. This includes anyone close to them. The narcissist collects things like broken hearts, relationships, money, assets, and ruined connections wherever they go whether with family, children, grandparents, parents, neighbors, colleagues, or businesses.

They create chaos and destruction, like a wrecking ball in a delicate room.

By now, you might have realized or are starting to see that narcissists won’t change. They won’t look inside themselves, take responsibility, or admit fault when relationships fall apart.

That’s why when you first met them perhaps in a romantic relationship they may have seemed vulnerable or played the victim, blaming others like their exes or upbringing for their problems.

This behavior shows exactly how narcissists operate.

They never admit they’re wrong. Instead, they think they can manipulate people, especially those who haven’t experienced their abusive patterns before. They also try to reconnect with past relationships with people who haven’t healed, grown, set boundaries, or cut them off.

Realizing the Truth, Awakening to Narcissistic Relationships

Not everyone discovers what you have, finding this understanding is like finding a needle in a haystack searching online or reading a medium article. Suddenly, it clicks: “This article describes exactly what I experienced in that relationship.” You feel shocked, confused, and unable to believe it.

Maybe you were recently discarded, and now you’ve realized that person was a narcissist or toxic.

The person you were with won’t give you closure, they want to keep you stuck, not moving forward, healing, or understanding. But you’re fortunate because you’re part of this community.

You know not everyone has learned what you have.

Many are still trapped, unsure of their relationship with a narcissist. Some are still trying to save these relationships, unknowingly giving the narcissist what they crave, attention. The narcissist prolongs this painful experience because that’s how they operate.

Understanding the Narcissist’s Manipulative Cycle

The narcissist never tries to fix relationships unless it benefits them. Once you realize you’re dealing with a narcissist, they keep you around to use as a sounding board for their problems, to verbally abuse, and more.

They don’t see people as caring individuals or sensitive souls, they view them as tools to manipulate and targets to mistreat financially, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically.

That’s their pattern, their cycle.

You might have been stuck in it for a while, but hopefully, you’ve broken free and now understand that narcissists rarely change, they often get worse.

When you were trying to salvage that relationship, you probably didn’t fully grasp what you were dealing with. It’s understandable because you’re used to giving your best effort in life in relationships, work, hobbies just like you did with the narcissist.

I’m sure you did give it your all.

Now you’re realizing that the relationship had a limited lifespan, and every day, the narcissist fed off your unhappiness and your attempts to fix things.

It’s a twisted way of thinking, but that’s their mentality. Your suffering brings them satisfaction, your discomfort excites them. The narcissist thrives on keeping you confused, manipulated, and in chaos to maintain their control.

The Unpredictability of Narcissistic Relationships

Yeah, those are strong words, but if you’ve been in a narcissistic relationship, you know what I mean. These aren’t kind, loving, stable, or healthy relationships. You see at least two sides of them: one at home and another in public.

But even then, the mask might stay on for a few minutes at the store, a few hours during travel, or longer at a barbecue.

It might come off completely on vacations, holidays, or birthdays.

That’s how narcissists work, there’s no consistency or peace. They can lift you up one moment and bring you crashing down the next. You never know which version of them you’ll face.

Will it be the nice person or someone unpredictable?

Will you keep feeling on edge?

Will you try to save the relationship again, knowing they haven’t changed or tried to fix things?

Narcissists move around, looking for new victims or returning to old ones. That’s why they might try to reconnect, even years after a breakup. They might send emails or texts because they miss the attention and what they had with you, they’re testing to see if they can start things again.

Understanding the Deceptive Cycle of Narcissistic Desires

Never entertain the Hoover, block the narcissist as needed. When you were in that relationship, you gave your all. You tried to fix things, worked on yourself and the relationship, but felt broken repeatedly.

You gave too much, and each day, week, and month, things got worse.

The narcissist became more absent, glued to their phone, staying late at work, or avoiding you.

In a narcissistic relationship, their desires change constantly.

They lose interest when they have what they want, but suddenly want it again when they don’t. It’s a strange cycle where everything feels upside down, controlled by the narcissist.

Initially, they wore a mask, making promises they never kept. They promised one thing but delivered something entirely different. They’re empty inside, hollow, and they know it. And now, so do you.

The Narcissist’s Game of Manipulation

When you were trying hard to save your relationship with the narcissist, you gave it everything you had. If it could have been fixed, it would have been. But the truth is, the person you were with didn’t want to fix things.

They wanted to hurt you and see the relationship fall apart.

They didn’t want peace, they wanted chaos. They enjoyed seeing you struggle and deplete your resources. They liked it when you gave so much that you couldn’t see what was really going on. That’s why narcissists often smirk or give you a side-eye in these situations, it shows they’re pleased to see your life in turmoil.

The thing is, they never wanted you to figure this out.

To them, the relationship was just a game. You were like a pawn to them, and they acted like they were in control, moving you around as they pleased, until you stopped playing along. That’s when you win, by blocking them, cutting off contact, and taking charge of your own life. That’s the path forward.

Wrap it up

Once you realize you’re in a relationship with a toxic person, every moment counts. You deserve peace, calm, and a fulfilling life. No more drama, manipulation, or abuse of any kind. Those difficult times are behind you now, you’re using your tools and understanding that you are the priority.

You come first.

When you were trying to save that relationship, you showed strength and bravery. I did the same, but it never worked. I used to call “Mature Conversation” just sitting down as two adults trying to fix things without drama.

But it never lasted.

The next day, we were back to where we started. I was manipulated for years until I finally saw through it. When did that happen? Yes, until I did.

So everyone, that’s the article. This is Ryan, true change begins with a spark. And remember, when you were trying on saving the relationship, that’s what you thought was right. But in a healthier relationship, you shouldn’t have to struggle so much because your partner should be equally committed.

But with someone intent on destroying the relationship, it’s a different story. They’ve taken everything from you. It’s beyond fixing. There’s nothing more you can do, and that’s how it is with narcissistic relationships.

Remember, the cycle will go on endlessly, but it has to go on without you. That’s just how it works. That’s why setting boundaries and saying “no” are crucial.

I hope you found my article informative and helpful.

Please let me know what you think, God bless you, Love you all, and take care!

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