You feel emotionally low and can’t see through the manipulation and mistreatment. It’s a confusing and disorienting experience where you might not even understand what’s happening.

You know you’re not being treated well. The abuse or manipulation happens more often now, almost every day. You’re getting used to this mistreatment like being made to doubt yourself, ignored, or facing sudden bursts of anger and conflicts with others.

Day by day, your life feels like it’s falling apart in this relationship.

Back then, when you were in it, things weren’t clear. But one thing was: you felt a strong need to be close to the narcissist.

You felt dependent on them, exactly as they wanted. It’s called a trauma bond. They trained, tricked, and manipulated you into feeling vulnerable a place no one should be in, yet there you were.

I’ve been there, and it’s tough. Being in a trauma bond means checking your phone all the time, feeling anxious with every alert, hoping it’s them. You’re always on edge, checking who’s trying to contact you a sure sign of a toxic relationship.

Setting Boundaries in Narcissistic Relationships

In a healthy, loving relationship, when your phone rings or you get a text, you finish what you’re doing first. You respond when it’s convenient, unless it’s urgent. That’s how good relationships work, you prioritize but don’t stop everything for anyone not even a narcissist.

But in a narcissistic relationship, you become like an extension of them.

You do whatever they ask, whenever they ask. If they request something, you’re supposed to do it without questioning. If they assign you a task, you do it, knowing there will be consequences if you say no.

And if you do say no and set a boundary, you’ll face consequences later. Inside the narcissist’s mind, they act like an immature child who never grew up properly, using their habit from childhood to control others.

Do narcissists know what they’re doing? Absolutely.

They go through daily routines just like everyone else, getting dressed, brushing teeth, going to work.

But unlike you, a kind and stable person, they constantly crave attention and manipulate relationships like a game. If you ended up in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s probably because you didn’t recognize the signs of narcissism at first.

Trapped in the Narcissist’s Web

You might have thought it was just someone taking a selfie on social media, but that’s just a small part of what a narcissist does. A narcissist is someone who attaches themselves to you like a parasite to drain all your resources.

They don’t genuinely care about you, instead they manipulate you into becoming attached to them.

They pretend to need you and want to be with you. Once they feel they’ve ensnared you, they start to pull away. By then, you’re already trapped in their web of manipulation, unable to see the truth, much like being caught in their game.

Notice how the selfie is carefully curated to show only what they want you to see? That’s where you were trapped for a while. The narcissist wanted to keep you there, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially captive. They aimed to take everything they could from you.

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Manipulation

They knew you couldn’t see it while you were caught up in it because they trapped you in that trauma bond and manipulated you. Many people eventually have a moment of realization, understanding they needed to break free and heal from that relationship.

Once people realize this and distance themselves from the narcissist like blocking them, going no contact, they find that their energy and clarity return.

There’s a lot of healing ahead, a lot of work to do, but it’s all about focusing on yourself.

It’s not about fixing a broken relationship or playing games like blocking and unblocking. It’s about recognizing that the narcissist never cared about your well-being, never did and never will.

Narcissists move from person to person, job to job, relationship to relationship, always looking to exploit unsuspecting people or sources of supply. They might even back to their old relationships, not just romantic ones but they could involve family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, or anyone they can manipulate.

Finding Hope and Healing

When you’re in the midst of it, it’s hard to see clearly because you didn’t know what narcissism was. All you felt was the constant back and forth, the emotional roller coaster, and the manipulation. You felt trapped, much like I mentioned with that confusion, you couldn’t see a way out.

The more you tried to fix things, the deeper you sank into confusion, losing yourself and seeing your life fall apart.

But this article isn’t about despair. It’s about hope, growth, and breaking free from this harmful cycle. It’s about living your best life, moving beyond the influence of narcissists, and learning valuable lessons without allowing them to dictate your future.

Because you’re a resilient person with a bright future ahead.

You deserve to live your life to the fullest, free from the grip of narcissistic manipulation. That’s where you belong, and you will reach that point. You’ll reach a place where the narcissists and their influence no longer hold sway over you or your life.

Now that you have wisdom and tools, you understand that healing from that relationship was necessary and you’re doing it.

Back then, you didn’t recognize gaslighting. You didn’t realize that whenever you shared something, they would twist or deny it on purpose. It wasn’t a mistake, it was a tactic meant to control and confuse you.

Undermining Your Reality

An innocent person might say, “No, I remember it differently.” They genuinely question if an event they shared with someone really happened as they remember it. But narcissists do something different, they listen carefully to your words and twist them strategically.

They change the story about what did or didn’t happen in the past, making you doubt your own experiences.

Whatever you went through, whatever you remember, that was your reality. But when a narcissist keeps denying your version of events, especially when you’re in a trauma bond or caught in their manipulative fog, you start doubting yourself.

You might think they remember things better, that their version is more accurate, This puts you in a tough spot.

Instead of trusting your own memories, you begin to believe their fake reality. They want to keep you trapped in this mindset, believing their lies and thinking they know your life better than you do. This constant manipulation makes every day in the relationship a struggle. You never know what you’ll face when you walk through that door.

Understanding Their Manipulative Scenarios

Will today be filled with smiles or anger? Will you endure days, weeks, or even months of silence? Will you find yourself caught in a web of manipulation when the door opens?

Let’s take an example, your partner going with someone of the opposite sex, claiming it’s just a coworker for dinner. They casually ask you to handle grocery shopping and cooking while they talk and flirt with this person, pretending it’s all business.

You rush to the store, buy groceries, and cook dinner while trying to keep calm.

It’s confusing, you’re unsure how to react or what’s really going on. When you were in that situation, everything felt unclear. You likely did as they asked, preparing dinner and enduring their flirtatious behavior and games while they were away from you.

Let’s imagine another scenario, you try to set a boundary, saying, “We agreed to spend more time together, but lately, you’re disappearing without telling me where.” Instead of explaining, the narcissist gets angry, saying it’s none of your business and threatening divorce or break up.

They claim you won’t find anyone better and criticize you for being too sensitive, suggesting you need therapy. I bet you’ve heard this often whenever it happens or when they get angry. That’s what I experienced too.

They insist they’re perfect to everyone else but you.

In such relationships, setting boundaries doesn’t work, they’re either ignored or attacked. When you distance yourself from this situation, your mind clears, you become stronger, and your health, finances, and other relationships can improve.

Embracing Freedom and Growth In You

You can find love again if you choose. You’ll enjoy old hobbies or find new ones. You’ll meet new people, take classes, teach, read, write, travel, move, whatever you want because you’re free from the past.

Recognizing narcissistic behavior and truly understanding it are different. Before, you knew something was wrong but didn’t understand the terms for it.

Now, you’re wise with real-life experience.

You set boundaries and no longer feel the need to please everyone, you can say no. Before, you couldn’t because you were deeply involved.

Narcissists take advantage of important moments like engagement, marriage, moving, having children, health problems, losing loved ones, job changes, or sudden money to control you. They carefully create relationships to trap others emotionally.

Once a narcissist targets you, often when you’re vulnerable and lacking wisdom, you become their prey. We’ve all been vulnerable when we fell into their trap whether from childhood in a vulnerable family, as a naive youngster, or in a romantic relationship.

We didn’t realize narcissists were seeking relationships, they can’t love.

They valued what you offered such a place to stay, money, resources, or in friendships, access to your club, wealth, or influential friends.

They befriended you not out of love but to reach your social circle, manipulating others for their benefit. After using you to get close to your friends, they discarded you, ruined your reputation, and exploited their real target, someone with wealth or vulnerability.

How is it Trapped in the Narcissist’s Web

The main problem in a narcissistic relationship is that it always benefits the narcissist, never you. It never did, won’t ever, and can’t in the future. That’s why, when you’re in it, you can’t see the truth. You need to be kind to yourself, this wasn’t your fault.

You were manipulated, taken advantage of, and trapped, like being stuck in that mindset. You didn’t know how you got there or how to get out safely.

All you saw was the relationship falling apart, facing verbal, financial, maybe physical, and definitely mental abuse. Maybe there was parental alienation too. The narcissist kept increasing the abuse because they knew the relationship would end eventually.

You thought it was a loving, stable relationship, but it was actually harming you.

The longer you stayed, the more you boosted them up, neglecting your own well-being. They unloaded their problems on you, draining your positive energy and keeping you in a low, stuck place.

Finding Clarity and Your Freedom

Finally, you’ve gained wisdom. You’ve found that clear understanding. You’ve realized, “I can’t believe I was in that relationship. I’m glad to be out of it. I have healing to do, but one thing is certain I need to stay away from these people as much as possible.” They only get worse over time.

Yes, the smear campaigns are hurtful, incredibly tough to endure. But taking the high road and removing yourself from them is the way forward.

If you can, make a plan to leave and follow through with it. It’s one of the best ways to get out of these relationships. Or, if you’ve been pushed aside, you know I’m with you. And if you’re still stuck in that low, confusing place the narcissistic fog you need to find a way out, though we’ll talk about that another time.

Remember, when you’re with them, clarity is hard to find.

Imagine standing on a hill with a clear view all around you, where the landscape stretches out before you in perfect clarity, showing exactly where you are and how to move forward.

That’s what life offers you: opportunities, the freedom to pursue your passions, and to be with whomever you choose, now that you’re liberated from narcissistic control.

Wrap it up

But when you’re in a narcissistic relationship, it’s like being lost in a dense forest without a map. It’s dark, and you can’t see where the path leads. You’re deep in it, unsure which way to turn, left, right, up, or down.

That’s why clarity eludes you in that moment.

But when you gain insight and use the right tools, everything becomes crystal clear. You start seeing the world with a fresh perspective, a newfound superpower that can’t be taught in any classroom or found in books.

You have to experience the narcissistic abuse cycle to gain this superpower.

You’ve lived through it, I’ve lived through it. Now, we’re leaving it behind in the past. We’re taking the lessons learned and applying them to our lives today. We’ve moved beyond it. At least, that’s my hope.

That concludes the article. This is Ryan, true change begins with a spark.

Remember, when you’re in the thick of it, clarity is hard to find. It’s not your fault once again, you were placed there by someone intent on taking as much as possible from you.

If you’ve managed to break free, share your thoughts below because you’re resilient, courageous, and strong.

You’ve accomplished what many cannot: breaking free from the trauma bond and seeing a whole new world (By the way, it’s one of my favorite Disney songs by Alan Menken).

I hope you found my article informative and helpful.

Please let me know what you think, God bless you, Love you all, and take care!

Check out our publication about Narcissism if you want to learn more or join us to write: Me and Narcissism

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