Many people often wonder why narcissists delay breaking up. There are various reasons for this behavior. Understanding these reasons can help you better grasp the nature of such relationships.

The first reason is that the narcissist had drained you completely. They took your time, energy, love, and empathy, everything you had. They left you with nothing more to give.

Another reason they might have delayed ending the relationship is that they had a new source of supply lined up.

They had someone ready to take your place. Before you, someone else was their new supply. So, they waited until this new person was ready to step into the relationship.

A third reason is that your health probably suffered. You may have developed medical issues that you didn’t have before, and these got worse.

Understanding How Narcissists Damage Your Health and Well-Being

When you’re with a narcissist, your health often gets worse. This is because of the constant stress. Every day, you wake up unsure of what to expect. You’re being lied to, ignored, and compared to others — some of the worst things they do.

You also deal with rumors spread about you.

Everything suffers such as your resources, reputation, money, time, social life, job, and hobbies. The narcissist keeps increasing their abuse. They throw you into chaos, making you confused.

This is new to you, but the narcissist is used to it. They’ve done it to others before.

Narcissists need many sources of attention, not just romantic partners. To them, every person is a chance to manipulate. Everyone starts as a new target, unaware of the narcissist’s tactics, making them easy to deceive.

The Narcissist’s Shifting Faces, Adapting to Manipulate and Deceive

The narcissist wears different faces. The one they showed you was made just for you. They behave differently around different people, in various situations, and in different places.

For example, they might treat their parents differently than they treat you, and they might treat the new person in their life differently than they treated you initially.

Their interests might not match yours.

Maybe the new person prefers staying home more, watching movies, reading books, and cooking, activities that weren’t your favorites. But the narcissist adapts to anyone, especially the new person, to make them feel comfortable and to take advantage of them, just like they did with you.

Now, why did the narcissist wait so long? If you were married (or in any serious relationship), what did they do? They sold you a dream. They made you believe you’d grow old together, that they were just like you, and that they deeply cared about you.

They made you think you were the one working hard to make the relationship better, keeping it steady and built on trust.

But a narcissist doesn’t understand trust. They only know how to manipulate and harm, trapping people in their lies.

Imagine you were married to a narcissist. They played a long game, not interested in a short relationship. They checked your income, your health, what you could give them like fancy trips, properties, vacations, expensive gifts.

They closely observed you, assessing your position in the relationship. They tested whether you believed their facade, whether you saw their true nature, and whether there was more they could exploit from you.

Realizing Narcissists’ Lack of Genuine Care and Manipulative Tactics in Relationships

When you’re in a relationship, let’s use engagement or marriage as an example, but it could be with family, friends, coworkers, or anyone around you, you might have cared deeply for the narcissist.

But here’s the hard truth: the narcissist never truly cared about you.

The narcissist understood who you were long before you understood yourself fully. Through my observation, study, or conversations with the community, many people have moments where they realize how special and valuable they are, like a bright shining light.

People often get into narcissistic relationships because the narcissist saw qualities like kindness, love, determination, loyalty, and strength in them.

The narcissist also sought out people who wouldn’t set limits, always stayed kind, and agreed with everything the narcissist wanted.

Imagine being married to a narcissist who always demanded home improvements. You put all your effort into these projects whether it was adding a new section, converting a room into an office, or remodeling the kitchen, not just to make your home better but to please the narcissist.

They observed as you worked tirelessly, controlling you like a puppeteer pulling strings.

The reason narcissists delay their actions becomes evident when they drain your resources, deplete your finances, damage your health, and isolate you from friends and colleagues.

They systematically cut you off from anyone and anything important to you.

Meanwhile, behind the scenes, they groomed a new admirer or replaced you entirely, leaving you in a desperate situation.

Adding to the pain is the realization that you didn’t understand narcissism and never suspected your partner didn’t care about you. They actively undermined your relationships and well-being, offering no support while aiming to cause you maximum harm.

Healing and Accountability

Facing the difficult realities I’m sharing in this article can be challenging, I know but it’s important. Narcissistic relationships are some of the hardest to recover from, that’s why healing is crucial. You can’t just move on like nothing happened because the damage runs deep.

Take your time to slow down, process, heal old wounds from childhood, write in a journal or something, get therapy, read helpful articles, and focus on self-care. Understand that this experience almost knocked you down, but here you are, either sharing your journey or taking care of yourself, strengthening your boundaries.

The narcissist played a long game in your relationship.

They aimed to slowly drain your resources without giving anything back. Imagine if the narcissist was your parent or even your adult child, now in their 40s, or 50s.

You might have spent years supporting them financially, providing a home, and meeting their needs. Have they improved their own situation? Probably not. Instead, they likely manipulated you into continuing to support them like money, housing, cars, using your kindness and guilt.

Narcissists rarely want to contribute, they prefer to take endlessly.

If you’ve had to stop supporting them, maybe you’ve seen them struggle to take care of themselves, a step towards holding them accountable. If not, you may have realized that constantly helping them only keeps them dependent, leaving both of you in financial trouble while they continue to use you.

Understanding Narcissistic Manipulation

I want to share many examples with you because understanding why narcissists delay so long is crucial. They see you as a host, a way to improve their lives, whether your relationship lasted a few months, years, or decades.

During this time, they kept you under their control, making you do things for them like apologize, listen to them, manage their emotions, cook, clean, and fulfill their every demand.

Narcissists want someone beneath them to control and make themselves feel more important.

This makes them feel entitled, thinking they’re smarter, stronger, more attractive, and better than you. They believe you’ll never see through their false image. Sometimes, they might give you a little hope or fake love to keep you hooked, hoping you won’t uncover their true colors.

People often struggle to understand why narcissists delay so long maybe until their children are grown, their investments pay off, or they find someone richer to exploit.

They don’t just disappear, instead they vanish while planning to harm those around them like partners, children, family, and colleagues.

Whether you were discarded or ended the relationship, it was draining and painful.

When narcissists discard you, they aim to crush you, leaving you without support and hoping you won’t recover. They want your suffering to propel them to their next victim.

If you’re stuck and didn’t know about narcissism when discarded, you’re vulnerable.

They’ve done this before and now highlight your vulnerability to their new target, portraying you as weak and needy. This supports their claim that they had to leave you because they thought you couldn’t manage without them.

Breaking Free from the Narcissistic Trap

The truth is, you were stuck in a trauma bond. You were confused and lost, exactly as the narcissist wanted. They trapped you in this bond. And for the new person they’re targeting, they likely saw your messages and calls, setting the same trap for them.

Now, focus on yourself on healing, understanding narcissism, and taking things slowly.

Realizing you were in a relationship with a narcissist is like finding a needle in a haystack. a big discovery especially here in this community. Learn from this experience, understand narcissistic abuse, and live in the present without trying to predict the future.

Discovering this truth was the key you needed: realizing you were with a narcissist.

They never wanted you to figure it out. They played a long game, waiting until they could replace you with someone new. They watched as your health declined, your money ran out, and your energy faded away.

In these relationships, they seek energy from others, and you gave them your time, empathy, and reasoning.

This is what they wanted and still crave because without it, they often make terrible choices. Many can’t even handle basic tasks like paying bills or picking a smartphone, they relied on you for that.

Their entitlement comes from thinking others exist to serve them, refusing to help anyone else. Narcissists don’t reflect on their actions, apologize sincerely, or take responsibility. They just move on to someone new, leaving you without closure.

Untangling the Delay Tactics of Narcissists

So, why did the narcissist delay for so long? There are several reasons: Your health declined, the kids finished school, your money ran out, they found someone new with resources. They had their own ventures now, all narcissistic relationships have a limit and you changed over time, perhaps becoming more aware and setting boundaries.

Initially, you might have been eager to please, unable to say no, easily influenced by the narcissist.

As time passed, you started to catch on, maybe began setting limits. That’s when they decided to move on to a new person and blamed you, spreading rumors against you.

By the time you realized what was happening, it was too late, the narcissist was ahead in their game.

When you finally understood how harmful these relationships are, it was like finding a needle in a haystack. You realized they tear you down instead of lifting you up, and once you recognize them, it’s crucial to break away. These relationships often end badly, untangling in a messy and painful way.

Wrap it up

So dear everyone, that’s the article. This is Ryan, true change begins with a spark. Now, to answer the question one last time: Why did the narcissist delay so long? It’s because of everything I mentioned.

When you were new, naive, without boundaries, with money, good health, and could provide a lavish lifestyle, you were attractive to the narcissist.

But over time, these things lost their appeal.

As your health declined, narcissists avoided being around. Once they’d taken all they could from you, they might leave you or make it look like you ended things to make themselves look like victims. Or they’d just move on, acting like you never existed, to use someone new.

That’s how the narcissistic abuse cycle works, it keeps going. Sadly, it continues without you. Remember, if you can, cut off contact. Block, delete, and avoid anyone connected to them.

I strongly suggest this. If you can’t do it now, plan for when you can.

If you’re thinking about leaving a relationship like this, make a plan to get out. Remember, these relationships only get worse and they never get better. I care about all of you.

I hope you found my article informative and helpful.

Please let me know what you think, God bless you, Love you all, and take care!

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