All marriages can be tiring, but being married to a narcissist is especially painful. It drains you in ways that are hard to describe. Narcissists often pretend to be incompetent, making you feel more like their caretaker than their partner.

You always have to chase after them, asking for the same things over and over, but they never listen. Imagine someone who exhausts you, drains your resources, and turns your life into a nightmare.

Some might say these problems exist in every relationship, but what makes it narcissistic is the lack of support. In healthy relationships, when you tell your partner, “This bothers me. Please change this habit” they compromise out of love and respect. 

But when you tell a narcissist you’re tired and need help with the children, work, and chores, they refuse to listen. 

Instead, they keep doing the same things to make your life harder.

Why? Because they enjoy seeing you in pain, which makes them sadistic. They like seeing how their actions affect you. 

We’re not talking about occasional mistakes made unintentionally by a partner. We’re talking about deliberate, repeated actions meant to exploit your kindness and make your life more difficult.

Living with a Narcissist’s Persistent Lack of Responsibility and Empathy

As I mentioned earlier, a narcissist sees marriage as a free pass to use you as a cleaner, cook, caregiver, and breadwinner, everything they can’t be. They don’t respect your boundaries or acknowledge that you have limits and can get tired. 

They don’t think you should ever be exhausted, but when it comes to their responsibilities, they’re suddenly too tired or just disappear.

What makes marriages with such toxic people so exhausting is the constant repetition. 

You have to keep reminding them of the same things, as if they were a child only interested in playing video games. They don’t care about the rest. “Please put that cup in the dishwasher.” “You should have flushed the toilet.” “These clothes go in the laundry bin.” You end up teaching them basic tasks.

The problem with this immature narcissist is that they don’t learn because they don’t want to. 

They feel entitled and think these tasks are beneath them, believing you should handle everything. To them, that’s what marriage is for. Why should they do any of it? They believe they’re above it all. 

This attitude and lack of empathy wear you down.

If these issues continue, not just for a week or a month, but for years, how could you not feel utterly exhausted? Imagine it like this if a dripping faucet annoys you once, it’s a minor inconvenience. 

But if the same faucet drips incessantly for years, how would you feel? Constantly on edge, hyper-aware of the sound, seeing the water damage accumulate. Of course, you would.

Manipulative Tactics and Emotional Neglect in Narcissistic Relationships

It’s the constant attacks that never stop. After years of juggling so many responsibilities at once, you become more and more irritated and agitated. 

You find yourself easily upset, which narcissists use against you. “He’s toxic. I can’t even talk to him. She’s always ready to argue. I don’t know what’s wrong with him or her.” 

Yet, no one acknowledges the deep lack of support.

You’re the one waking up early at 5:00 a.m., making breakfast, getting the kids ready for school, and rushing off to work. 

It’s a routine you know well, but no one talks about the years of neglect you endure. Instead, they focus on how much you complain or how easily you get upset.

This behavior is classic DARVO. 

They deny their absence and lack of support, blaming you instead. They reverse the roles of victim and offender: “They don’t want to be close with me. Whenever I try to connect, they avoid me.” 

How can intimacy thrive when they’ve emotionally left you behind? They see you as an object, not a person. They blame you, suggesting you need therapy.

Wrap it up

Do you understand how challenging this is? Being married to a narcissist feels like enduring constant suffering. Escaping takes a lot of time and effort. When you finally get out, you feel completely exhausted. You’re left feeling deeply hurt and scarred. 

I’m telling you this to stress the importance of accepting your situation.

Surviving a narcissist, especially in marriage, is like surviving a fierce battle or war zone. Congratulations on making it through. Now is your time to rest and recover. 

Being married to a narcissist isn’t just hard, it’s incredibly tough. 

It’s so difficult that it leaves you completely exhausted, mentally, physically, psychologically, and emotionally. 

You feel drained to the point where you might not even want to think about another relationship.

If you’re going through similar experiences, if you relate to what I’m saying, share your story in the comments below. With that, I’ll conclude this article. Keep moving forward on your healing journey until next time.

I hope you found this article interesting and useful.

Thanks for reading! Please take a moment to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Don’t forget to share if you found it informative ❤

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