They believed you wouldn’t see through their tricks and lies. I’ve discussed some of these topics before, but now I’d like to share new insights that reveal the truths they tried to keep hidden from you.

At first, the narcissist was surprised that you might find out who they really are. They never thought you would see behind their fake smile. They watched you closely and wrote down your weaknesses and what made you feel weak. They worked hard to trap you in their confusing games, using things like trauma bonding and devaluation. They were very determined.

During this time, they probably gave you a lot of love, making everything seem perfect. They said they had the same dreams and goals as you, which made it feel almost too good to be true. And you know what? It really was too good to be true.

In reality, this person was just an empty shell, like a vampire looking for someone to feed off. They wanted someone to make their life better, but they had no real depth or authenticity.

If the narcissist had told you the truth about their past of how they treated their ex-partners, their own kids, or even their so-called friends, you would have run away right away. But that’s not what happened.

Narcissists Target Kind People to Drain Their Energy and Kindness.

Narcissists are always looking for their next target, trying to find someone weak enough to fall for their tricks. They want someone who will give them a chance, and when they see you someone who doesn’t know what narcissism is because we don’t learn about it before, they think you are an easy target.

You might be in a tough situation because of your life, and without knowing about narcissism, you thought most people were good. But the narcissist got close, grabbed you, and changed everything.

They changed your life in many ways. Everything about you got hurt in that relationship like your time, money, energy, love, empathy, health, friendships, hobbies, and even your belief in people.

I don’t say this lightly, being with a narcissist is really hard and tiring. They never thought you would find a way to break free from the cycle of abuse, which includes emotional, financial, physical, and spiritual ties. They wanted you to feel stuck, tied to them no matter where you went or what you did.

Their goal was to always be in your head.

Some people might say, “Ryan, you’re being too harsh.” But I’m just being honest. These people are dark and know what they are doing. They dress like you, breathe the same air, and make choices every day to be either a good person or a bad one.

Sadly, they often choose to be bad because they don’t take responsibility. There’s no self-reflection, no apologies, and no desire to change. Instead, you get blame, anger, and manipulation, things I really dislike about them. You’ll face smear campaigns and the silent treatment, but never a real conversation.

Another thing you weren’t supposed to realize is that you were chosen. Yes, you were picked. Whether it was in a narcissistic family, a romantic relationship, or a friendship, the narcissist saw your bright light. They knew you were probably an empath, and they wanted to take away your kindness, empathy, and goodness, everything that makes you who you are.

Because all those good qualities I just mentioned? The narcissist has none of them. They are like vampires, looking for someone to drain. They want to manipulate a target, ready to take everything they can from people who don’t know about narcissistic abuse or haven’t broken free from the trauma bond.

You have the power to take control of your life and break free from narcissists.

You might not know it, but you have always had the power to take control of your life. It’s normal to doubt this, especially if you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, which can really drain you. The truth is, you had the power all along, you just didn’t see it because you were caught up in the narcissist’s lies. You believed their fake image and the stories they told.

Remember, what the narcissist says and what they do are often very different. They make big promises but give you nothing real. This is how they work, they are good at manipulating people. The control you had was hidden because of the trauma bond, which made it hard for you to see how they were influencing you.

Now that you are starting to understand this, you can see that getting away from these toxic people is the right choice. Will it be easy? No way. Will it be hard? Yes, it will be. But can you do it? I really hope you will. I did it myself, and if I can, you can too. It will take a lot of strength, courage, and commitment. You need to learn to ignore the narcissist’s empty words and lies.

The hard truth is that narcissists cannot love anyone.

Their only goal is to keep people trapped. As they get older, they often become more desperate to hold onto their fading charm and youth. They think they can still manipulate people like before, but that’s not true anymore.

These older narcissists can become bitter and lost because many people around them have seen through their act or are just as self-centered. They live in a world of confusion, drama, and chaos, with nothing good to offer. They are always competing with others, trying to put people down or compare themselves to those around them.

You might not see it yet, but you have the power to rebuild your life. Yes, you really can! Whether the narcissist left you or you decided to end things, that part is over. The breakup was probably very hard, and while you were trying to heal, the narcissist just moved on to find someone else to control.

Now is your time to rise up, shake off the past, and become stronger, like a phoenix coming back to life. Healing and starting fresh is totally possible. I’ve been through this myself during one of the hardest times in my life, and I did it all by myself. The important thing is that you can do it too.

You just need to really want it and be ready to cut the ties that keep you connected to the narcissist.

That’s why I often say to cut off contact completely. If you can, block the narcissist, remove them from your life, and stay away from anyone who supports them. If you’re asking yourself when to take action, think: If not now, when? If going no contact feels too hard, try the Grey Rock method. If that doesn’t work, make a plan to leave. Choose a time when you feel strong and clear enough to break free from their control.

You can definitely do this.

Many people have successfully left similar situations, and many are on their way to freedom right now. Before many people don’t talk a lot about narcissism, narcissists had a big advantage, no matter where you lived. It was hard to find information, so it was tough for people to see and understand narcissistic behavior.

Now that you’re learning about narcissism, it’s really important to protect yourself. Ten years ago, we didn’t have the resources we have today. Yes, narcissists can find the same information. But think about this, the internet has helped us become aware and share positive stories. We are starting to see that we can break free from the chains that hold us back.

For a long time, narcissists kept empaths under their control, and many tried to hide the truth. But now, we are waking up to the fact that we are the most important people in our own lives. If you see that you’re in a narcissistic relationship or notice red flags in someone you’re thinking about dating, don’t feel like you have to explain or defend yourself. If you can, slowly distance yourself from that person. Remember, these people don’t usually change for the better, they often get worse. This is another important truth you weren’t meant to find out.

Narcissists can’t change, so it’s time to break free and focus on your own happiness.

When you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist especially if you’re married to one, they often come back and begging for another chance. They might say things like, “Just give me one more chance, I promise I’ll change.” But the reality is, this is just a broken record, playing the same tune over and over.

The narcissist is stuck in a cycle. They can’t change, they don’t want to reflect on themselves, and facing the truth is too painful for them.

This is why they create a false persona and try to keep you trapped in a low-energy state, dragging you down little by little. That’s not where you want to be. Instead, focus on breaking free from the narcissist, cutting those ties, and putting as much distance between you as possible. Protect yourself, start fresh, and build a new life. Take a class, share your knowledge, read a book, write your own story, do whatever it takes to leave the narcissist behind.

If you’ve chosen to go no contact and blocked them, stick to it. Each day you maintain that distance, you grow stronger while they grow weaker. The energy shifts back to you, and they become less significant, like a tiny droplet in a vast ocean. That’s where they belong, in that low-energy space where they feel comfortable.

It’s just that narcissists can’t rise to your level. They want to keep you from finding your happiness and achieving your true purpose. So, pay attention. You weren’t meant to uncover so many truths about the narcissist. You weren’t supposed to learn how to go no contact, that they can’t change, or that they never truly cared about you. You didn’t realize they were manipulating you all along or that they had multiple sources of supply while you were with them.

These sources of supply don’t have to be romantic. They can be anything like a favorite book, a vacation, a smartphone, a job, or even a hobby. That’s why it’s essential to distance yourself from these individuals and recognize that you weren’t meant to discover all these realities.

Here’s the key point. most people don’t really understand what narcissism is. I’ll say it again, most people don’t get it. They either can’t find the needle in the haystack or aren’t seeking the knowledge, often blaming themselves for their situation. But that’s not you. You’re here, part of this community, and you’re fortunate to have this understanding. You are resilient, unique, and powerful.

It’s time to break free from the chains of the narcissistic relationship.

If you’ve found that needle in the haystack, which is what understanding narcissism truly means, and you apply what you’ve learned to your current situation, the responsibility is on you. You must take action to protect yourself. There are countless people out there, even as I write this during heavy rain in Sukabumi, who don’t know what you know and wish they did. I was once in that position, and I’m sure you were too.

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I hope you found my article informative and helpful.

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