What if sitting in an empty chair could help you heal, let go of the past, leave behind unhealthy relationships, and break free from habits that stop you from having more good things in life?

What if this is the key to becoming a new you? For a while, I’d try to change, but I kept falling back into old habits or drawing in the same kinds of people. 

It felt like a pattern that wouldn’t end. 

Many people go through this, especially with narcissistic types. They wonder why they keep attracting them. 

Sometimes they set boundaries, which helps, but unless they deal with the real issues, the same problems come back. It’s like there’s a story repeating until we change it.

How an Empty Chair Helped Me Break Free from Old Patterns

Last night, I tried something new with this empty chair. I sat in it as part of a therapy practice I recently found. I’m not a therapist, but I want to share a powerful experience that really helped me. 

I’ve been studying Alfred Adler, an Austrian therapist from the early 1900s who focused on healing and childhood. Adler believed that the past doesn’t determine the future, unlike many psychoanalytic theories. 

While researching, I found a video about “gal therapy,” a German practice. 

The word “gal” means “to make whole.” This discovery led me to a major breakthrough, and I want to tell you about it.

What if the people and situations we attract are due to unresolved issues from our past? At some point, a block in our learning happened, and now these people and situations show up to help us learn and close that loop. 

It’s like avoiding an important conversation that keeps coming back in different ways. 

Until you face it and learn the lesson, you’ll keep attracting the same types of people and situations because the issue isn’t resolved. It’s like there’s a break in the cycle that needs fixing.

While watching an Alfred Adler video, I came across another video on adult therapy and felt the urge to watch it. 

It discussed psychology, and the empty chair technique caught my attention. Curious, I tried it last night. Let me tell you why it made a big difference for me.

How an empty chair exercise helps release past resentments and open new growth opportunities.

Last night, I did a powerful exercise with an empty chair. I arranged two chairs and imagined people from my past sitting in one of them. I imagined how they looked and what they might wear. 

Then, I talked to them, sharing the feelings and thoughts I’d kept inside. 

This exercise helped me let go of old grudges and release stored-up energy from my mind and body. But let me tell you, I felt really free after doing this. 

It’s a practice that helps you let go. 

Now, what if that old relationship is stopping you from trying something new? What if the beliefs about not having enough, stuck with you since you were little, are keeping you in old ways of thinking? 

What if you need to let go of the old to make room for new chances? And what if the empty chair exercise can help you break free from this cycle, so you can let go of what’s holding you back?

Understanding how we relate to our parents like mom, dad, and us, it can be really important. As we grow, our parents are who we first connect with, shaping how we understand connection. 

If we have issues or bad feelings towards our parents, it can cause problems in different parts of our lives. 

Trouble with mom might affect how we deal with relationships since she’s often our first connection and represents relational stuff. Likewise, our relationship with dad can affect how we see our purpose, how much we have, and how we set boundaries, shaping how we understand abundance.

Healing Past Wounds to Start Fresh

Understanding how your relationship with your parents affects you is important. Try putting family members in the empty chair to talk about childhood issues. 

This can help you let go of old emotions and feel lighter.

Think about what could happen if you let go of old problems and embrace new opportunities. But if you haven’t dealt with past issues, they might hold you back from trying new things. 

For example, if you never talked about your feelings with your parents, it could affect the type of partners you attract.

When my friend left home at 17, his dad divorced his controlling ex-stepmom. Strangely, he kept dating women with similar traits. One controlling ex-girlfriend left, then another showed up. 

Even his manager at work acted like his ex-stepmom. It wasn’t until his Spiritual Awakening in 2010 that he forgave her. After that, she disappeared from his life, and his manager got fired. Though he’s faced milder versions of this pattern since.

Breaking Patterns, Freeing Yourself from Past Influences by Recognizing Them.

The negativity has been fading, but to end the cycle, my friend had to confront and release it. Leaving home at 17, they never found closure with their controlling ex-stepmom. There was no reason to talk to her again. 

It felt like they had to have those difficult conversations to assert themselves, establish boundaries, and break free from that harmful pattern.

We often attract people who remind us of past experiences. 

For example, you might keep dating partners who are emotionally distant. It’s important to notice if you’ve gotten used to this because of your childhood. 

Maybe one of your parents wasn’t emotionally available, and that felt normal to you. Even though you want more emotional closeness, trying something new can be scary because it’s unfamiliar.

We need to realize that who we attract often shows parts of ourselves. 

If you keep getting partners who are not emotionally available, it could mean you’re also distant emotionally, which can be hard to admit. I’ve had to face this in myself, and it’s tough because it’s easy to blame others.

Expressing Unspoken Feelings, Using the Empty Chair Method to Release Unresolved Issues.

Think about how you relate to your parents. If one of them wasn’t there for you emotionally, you might see the same behavior in your relationships. It’s like replaying an unfinished story in new connections. 

When you don’t share your feelings, you carry emotional baggage that stops new opportunities from coming your way.

When we look back at past relationships, they often resemble how we interacted with our parents. 

Using the empty chair technique is a great way to deal with unresolved problems. Imagine the person you need to talk to, and say what you need to say. If you hold onto these feelings, you might find yourself repeating the same patterns in new relationships.

 This method helps let go of emotional baggage, so you can have better connections in the future.

Using the empty chair, I talked to my mom, dad, and others from my past, telling them things I’d kept inside because I didn’t want to hurt them. I explained how certain situations affected me. It felt like my inner child was finally listened to and understood.

Healing the Inner Child, Meeting Needs and Sharing Feelings.

Many of us have a younger version of ourselves that didn’t get enough care and attention when we were kids. This part of us still wants to feel loved and safe, so we might be drawn to people who treat us the way we were treated back then. 

Even though we want understanding and support, we might end up with people who act like those from our past.

I sat down and imagined the person in the chair, whether it was my mom, dad, or someone else. Then, I’d talk to them, saying things like, “Hi Mom, hi Dad, hi [person’s name].” 

I’d tell them how certain things made me feel and what I wished had been different. Finally, I’d also mention the good times and thank them for everything, as if their better selves were there.

At the end, I’d also think about the good things. 

I’d say, “Thank you for that, and I remember the good times.” I’d remember happy memories and the connections we had. When I finished, it felt like thanking their better side.

Finding Freedom, Expressing Unspoken Emotions to Let Go.

In the end, I’d say, “I’m letting go of this habit now. It doesn’t mean I’m cutting ties with my mom, dad, or anyone else. But I’m letting go of the attachment and unconscious feelings.” 

Then, I’d push in the chair, feeling closure, and move on to the next person.

Yesterday, I talked to some people, even though they weren’t there. Speaking to the empty chair made me feel free in a new way. The dreams I had afterward showed me it was powerful. Dreams often show what we’re dealing with in life. 

If you keep having the same dream, it means something’s not sorted out yet.

I’ll talk about another part of gestalt therapy soon. Last night, my dreams kept showing unfair situations. In one, I was in a grocery line when someone cut ahead, causing a problem.

Understanding Childhood Beliefs and Dream Patterns About Fairness.

I used to just let the recurring dream happen without doing anything. But a few months ago, I began standing up for myself in the dream, confronting the unfairness. This reflects my belief from teenage that life isn’t fair, especially during the years from 15 to 21 when I didn’t have a proper time.

Many years later, I worked at a café with its own set of politics. 

The boss’s rude behavior went unaddressed. It reminded me of the unfairness I experienced in my teenage and young adult years. These recurring dreams echoed this feeling. 

Last night’s dream was different. I noticed someone not in line but occupied elsewhere. It felt unfair, but I chose not to wait and moved to the front.

Normally, I’d wait, but in this dream, I wondered why and moved to the front. As I joined the line, the person ahead moved forward, making me realize something. Sometimes, we feel the need to speak up when things aren’t fair.

Dream Reflections, Understanding Growth and Breakthroughs.

Last night, in my dream, I didn’t react passively when someone cut in front of me, I just shrugged it off. It felt like I was accepting things rather than feeling small. 

This dream marked progress, especially in setting boundaries with people from my past, where guilt or responsibility used to make it hard.

In a dream last night, I established boundaries with someone, which was new. 

This progress, seen through the chair exercise, shows improvement in my dream reflections. 

Instead of feeling life is unfair, I’m learning to relax and let things happen without worry, changing how I feel energetically.

Attachments and aversions are important. 

If you strongly believe something shouldn’t happen, you might attract it. In gestalt therapy, there’s a cycle involving feeling, recognizing, taking action, feeling satisfied, stepping back, and reaching a point of potential growth.

Healing Past Blocks, Understanding the Cycle of Fulfillment.

Imagine it as getting a glass of water, a common example to describe this process. First, you feel thirsty and realize you want water. Then, you move to the cupboard, get a cup, and fill it with water. 

This involves physical contact too.

After drinking, you’re content and no longer thirsty, so you stop. This leaves room for new desires or needs to arise.

Certain past experiences can create obstacles in our lives, especially in our relationships. 

If we don’t recognize and deal with these obstacles by expressing our real feelings, we’ll keep encountering similar situations and people. It’s like we’re trying to solve these problems without even realizing it by bringing them into our lives over and over again until we fix them.

Using Imagination for Healing, Talking and Connecting.

One important part of the empty chair technique is talking to different sides of yourself and others. Think about different parts of who you are. For example, imagine your inner critic in the empty chair and tell it how you really feel. 

You can also have a kind conversation with your inner child. And you can ask questions to get feedback, like “How does my inner child feel?”

Next, make sure to listen well to your inner child. You can also listen to others to understand their point of view. This uses your imagination because we’re all connected, so the information is there. 

You’re connected to the higher selves of others, which helps a lot with healing through the empty chair.

Trying this exercise last night really affected how I felt, I felt better and closer to others after, which showed in my dreams. Remember, you don’t have to wait to feel better; you can also talk directly to the people involved.

Wrap it up

I’ve spoken to some family members before, but sometimes there are things you hold back from saying. Maybe you think they’re not ready to hear it, or you want to protect them. 

Expressing yourself could lead to a breakthrough, but it’s also okay to accept where people are. 

This exercise could be helpful because you don’t have to directly talk to certain people from your past.

I’m not going to talk to some narcissistic people. It’s not likely to help and might just lead to an argument. 

If you want to heal from inside, it’s important to deal with shame and believe in your own worth. This means connecting with the energy of the Divine mother and father to complete the parent-child cycle.

Thanks for reading! Please take a moment to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Don’t forget to share if you found it informative ❤

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