When a narcissist realizes they’ve lost the “Genuine one,” it means they’ve lost their main support. This person isn’t just anyone, they’re like a pillar for the narcissist, always there to help. They’re totally committed and willing to do anything to save the relationship.

Losing them is not something the narcissist can accept because they give an unmatched love and dedication. Let’s discuss how narcissists behave. I’m Ryan, an expert in narcissism and aiding abuse recovery. I share my insights on my website. 

If you haven’t bookmarked it yet, please consider doing so, it helps spread awareness about narcissistic abuse. Welcome aboard!

It might seem strange, but narcissists don’t see all sources of support as equally important. 

They prioritize them based on how much they think they need them. The most crucial one is the primary source of support, someone the narcissist can’t afford to lose. Why? 

Because they offer something special that can’t be replaced. I’ll explain this more and give lots of examples to help you understand.

Next, there are backup supports. These are like replacements, they can be changed, reused, or tossed away easily because there are many of them. But the main support, usually, is kept.

The Narcissist Stays in a Marriage to Maintain Image and Control Supply

Let’s look at a married female narcissist whose partner is fully committed to saving their relationship. He has a never-give-up attitude and doesn’t believe in divorce. 

This is exactly what the narcissist needs. 

Being married to him gives her admiration, acceptance, and validation in her society. She has to maintain an image, especially in a culture where being married is important. 

To keep this image intact, she needs to keep him in her life and will do anything to achieve that. 

This means she can sometimes be overly nice to him, give him just enough attention to keep him around, and do whatever it takes to protect her image.

However, she doesn’t treat her secondary sources of Supply the same way. 

She easily replaces them, treats them poorly, but keeps them hopeful by promising that one day she’ll leave her husband for them. 

This promise never comes true. Why does she do this? To take advantage of others, making them believe she’ll start a new family with them so they stay patient and keep giving her the attention and validation she needs to sustain her false image.

But when things get hard, she backs off, distances herself, ignores him and calls him crazy. 

If this narcissist loses her main source of support, her husband, we might call him the “Genuine one.” 

However, it’s important to understand that there is no genuine one for a narcissist because all sources of support are treated the same, just in different ways. It’s not about him being special but it’s about how he enhances her image. That’s why she wants to stay in the marriage.

Understanding Narcissistic Manipulation and False Promises

I want you to know it’s not about one person being more important than another. It’s all about the narcissist’s self-interest and selfish desires. They keep someone who meets their needs because finding a new person would be hard. 

That’s why they hold on to their main source of Supply.

When narcissists realize they’ve lost their main source of support, they might pretend to change. 

They might suddenly agree to couples therapy or talk about their cheating, which is rare for narcissists. They may act broken, saying they want to understand what’s wrong with them and promise to change and grow. 

They might say they want to fix the relationship for the family or the child. 

They don’t want to see their partner in pain or their children suffer, and they ask for one last chance. This is how narcissists act when they fear losing the one person who has put up with all their abuse.

As backup sources, witnessing all this can make you doubt yourselves. 

You wonder, “Are we not worth it?” You’ve begged and pleaded for a chance, but only got nightmares in return. You’ve always wanted to be together, but they never tried. 

They lied about your relationship status, saying you were single or divorced when you weren’t. Now that they’re about to lose their main support, they suddenly show the changes you’ve wanted. What’s going on?

What Happens When Their Main Support Leaves

That’s just them pretending, how they see the risk. The risk is losing their reputation. To make the genuine one think they’ve changed, they might admit to being narcissistic. 

I’ve seen it myself, heard it too, so it’s strange. Saw it just a few days ago. 

They might also talk to religious leaders, using religion to convince themselves and others that they’ve changed and that God wants them to be given another chance. 

That’s what happens when they realize they’ve lost the genuine one or are about to lose them.

When someone finally leaves, they stop falling for the narcissist’s tricks, and that’s when the narcissist falls apart. Yes, collapse can happen. 

It occurs when the main support of a narcissist leaves them, especially if there’s no one else to take their place right away. 

For example, in a friend’s case, they were the main support for their secretly narcissistic mother. 

When they left, she had a temporary breakdown. It would have been permanent if their sister hadn’t been there for her. 

The sister took on the friend’s role and responsibilities. Before that, she was the father’s favorite, but now she’s favored by both parents, preventing her collapse.

A friend saw her falling apart, which happens often. It shows that narcissists depend heavily on their true person, their soulmate, which causes them a lot of pain. 

You might notice them getting depressed, withdrawing, neglecting things, or not eating. 

This might make you think they’re not narcissists, that they’ve realized they need to change, and that they feel sorry for what they’ve done. You might even feel like giving them another chance. But be careful, making that mistake could ruin you.

Wrap it up

I saw something similar in a deep talk between two sisters. One was acting like a narcissist, and the other was an empath. It seemed like their final try to fix things. 

The narcissistic sister admitted she was a narcissist and promised to change. 

But the empath sister said firmly, “This is your last shot. If you don’t change, we’re over. I’m changing too, and that’s it.”

In their conversation, the narcissistic sister cried, admitted her mistakes, and promised to improve. She asked for guidance. 

I told her to focus on change and let go of distractions. 

Later, she scheduled another meeting online with me, giving hope for progress. But only the shattered sister showed up. 

She confessed she faked change last time to keep her sister’s support, without any real intention to change. 

Now that her sister has cut ties, she asked me, “What now?”

I couldn’t answer her questions because the narcissist was falling apart, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. 

I had to let her deal with it on her own. She admitted to using me for support, seeing me just as a distraction. So, I told her, 

“I’ve done what I can. You have to face this alone and deal with that emptiness. I know it’s scary. It feels like everything is breaking down, but it’s important for you to understand yourself and how you affect others.”

So, when a narcissist realizes they’ve lost their genuine one, it’s a big deal. It’s not the same as losing other support. But it doesn’t mean you, as a secondary support, are less important. That’s it for today. 

I hope you found this article interesting and useful.

Thanks for reading! Please take a moment to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Don’t forget to share if you found it informative ❤

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