When a narcissist looks inside themselves, they don’t see a strong or confident person. They see someone who worked hard to build a fake image, but they are scared it will fall apart if people get too close. Deep inside, they feel empty, always afraid someone will find out the truth about them.
They think about the people they hurt and the relationships they broke, but they don’t try to fix anything. They hold onto their secrets, hoping no one will see what they’ve done. What they really want is not peace or truth, it’s power. They want to control everything and be the loudest so no one can see who they really are.
When a narcissist thinks about their own life, they don’t see honesty, growth, or anything real. What they see is a mess of lies and tricks they’ve created. Their life feels like it could break at any moment. They remember the people they hurt and know they need to pretend to be someone new to trick others into their games. Even though they act tough, inside they are scared. They know they are just a bully, someone afraid of being seen for what they really are.
A narcissist knows what they do to others. On the outside, they look like everyone else, they eat, sleep, and live their life like normal. But the big difference is how they treat people. They trap others in their games, using lies and control to keep them stuck. For a while, that was you. You were part of their trap.
They didn’t tell you, “This is who I am, and I will hurt you like I’ve hurt others.” No, they didn’t warn you. Instead, they watched you. They learned what you wanted, what you dreamed of, and what you cared about. Then, they showed you exactly what you wanted to see. It wasn’t real. They just acted like the person you wanted, so you would trust them. The person you thought you knew? They were never real, it was all fake, just a trick to pull you in.
How they broke you and how you started to heal.
They didn’t just walk into your life by accident, they were watching you closely from the start. They wanted to know everything about you like who you dated before, what your childhood was like, where you studied, and even what dreams you had for your future.
When they saw how much you had to give like your kindness, energy, and support, they decided you were worth their time. That’s when they started getting closer to you. They said all the things you wanted to hear, like how much they cared about you or how perfect you were. Maybe they talked about starting a family, building a life together, or making a home with you. Whatever promises they made, it wasn’t about love, it was about getting you into their world.
At the beginning, everything felt good and exciting, so you had no reason to think anything was wrong. No one taught you before that some people are not what they seem. You didn’t know that there are people who don’t care about your happiness, and narcissists are really good at hiding who they are. They saw how kind and caring you are, and they took it as a chance to get close.
They knew exactly how to act. They copied your dreams, liked the things you liked, and even acted like they understood your little habits. They made you believe they were perfect for you. They said things like “You’re amazing,” “We’re perfect together,” or “You complete me.” They might have pretended to enjoy your hobbies or praised your work, just to make you feel special, but none of it was real. Every word and action was fake, all part of their plan to take what they wanted from you.
Back then, you didn’t really know how important it was to have boundaries. Saying no wasn’t something you were good at. It’s such a small word, but it means a lot. It shows you’re putting yourself first, but at that time, you didn’t think like that. You trusted the narcissist and believed they cared about you. You didn’t know the truth, it was all fake.
The longer you stayed with them, the more stuck you felt. Their manipulation worked slowly, like a fog you couldn’t see at first. Over time, you started losing yourself little by little. They made you feel less confident, less like yourself, and they kept taking things from you like your time, energy, money, love, and even your identity. You gave them so much that it felt like there was nothing left of you. And when they had taken everything they wanted, they left without a second thought. Maybe they dumped you, or maybe you found the courage to leave, but either way, it hurt deeply.
After it was over, you probably realized something. No one was coming to save you. The people you thought would be there for you? Most of them disappeared. Some believed the lies the narcissist spread about you. Others just stood back and watched, like your pain was entertainment for them. Maybe a few people said something kind, but they didn’t really understand what you went through. True support? It was very rare, if it even existed at all.
In the end, it was up to you to pick yourself up and start over. It was hard, but you did it. You found strength in yourself, and you began to rebuild your life. You didn’t just make it through, you started becoming yourself again.
So, what did you do after? You had to fix yourself.
It was like trying to find a small needle in a big pile of hay, so hard and frustrating, but you had no choice but to keep trying. And then, you realized, you were in a bad toxic relationship with a narcissist. It was one of the hardest things anyone could go through.
That’s when you understood, you needed to heal. You couldn’t just ignore it. You had to slow down, take a break, and give yourself time to understand everything. You started writing in a journal, meditating, praying, seeing a therapist, maybe reading some articles, and thinking about your past to fix old wounds from when you were young.
But while doing all of this, what were you really doing? You were thinking about yourself. You were learning about who you are, and also about how people are in general. You were looking in the mirror, seeing the truth, and being honest with yourself about what happened.
The truth is, you couldn’t act like that relationship was nothing. You couldn’t say, “It wasn’t a big deal.” No, it was a big deal. That relationship almost ruined you. When you looked in the mirror, especially after everything ended and you couldn’t believe it, you saw yourself change. You saw different parts of you, broken, confused, hurt, but also slowly starting to heal, little by little.
When the mask falls, they’re left with nothing but their empty reflection.
Okay, imagine the relationship is over, and you find yourself somewhere maybe in your car, looking in the rearview mirror, or standing in the bathroom looking at yourself. Maybe you’re even taking a selfie with your phone to see how you look to others, but what you see isn’t good.
Your hair is all messy, your eyes are puffy from crying, and you feel lost. You don’t look your best, but you can’t stop looking. Not because you want to admire yourself, but because you have to face the truth, how bad things really are.
This is what many of us went through. We had to accept that when everything fell apart, we were not where we thought we would be. It was tough to admit, but we were broken. But we didn’t give up. We had to find a way to get back up, even if it felt impossible.
We had to pick ourselves up, heal, and slowly put ourselves back together. Little by little, we did it. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, we got stronger, more focused, and ready to face the new version of ourselves, the one that was brave, strong, and different from before.
While you were trying to understand everything that happened, like learning about things like gaslighting, smear campaigns, triangulation, and rage fits, the narcissist was not thinking about the harm they caused. They were probably just looking at themselves in the mirror or taking selfies on their phone, feeling proud of what they did.
They might have thought, “I really messed with them. I broke them down. They are just a shell of themselves now. It doesn’t matter if they stay that way or not. I’ve moved on, and I don’t care about giving them closure. They mean nothing to me.”
Meanwhile, they were telling lies about you, making sure others think they are the victim, and keeping up their fake story. They couldn’t let the lies fall apart, so they worked hard to keep the story going. Soon, they’d find another person to manipulate and use for their benefit. They’d take everything from them, just like they did with you, and then move on to the next person.
The narcissist doesn’t see what you see.
When the narcissist looks inside themselves, they don’t feel remorse or regret. Instead, they feel disgust, both for themselves and for others. What they see when they look inside is not the same as what you or I would see. It’s a twisted and hollow image, a reflection of someone who isn’t real, someone who doesn’t align with the version they think they are.
They aren’t genuine people, they’re like energy vampires, constantly taking from others, adapting to fit whatever role they need. And when they lash out, you can see it in their eyes, a cold, lifeless stare like a predator waiting to pounce. It’s the unsettling look of something dangerous, like a shark circling before it strikes.
This is how the narcissist behaves, and if you’ve seen it, you understand exactly what I mean. Beneath their bravado and lies, there’s nothing real, no truth, no heart, no honesty. For them, it’s all about manipulating others, finding their next target, taking whatever they can without anyone noticing. And once they’ve drained someone dry, they move on, leaving destruction in their wake.
So, when the narcissist looks inside themselves, it’s a wake-up call.
All the people who once worshipped them, the ones who believed the lies, are gone. Even their own children have shut them out, they don’t want anything to do with them anymore. And their partners? They’re either gone or have blocked them and moved on with their lives. The business deals, friendships, long-term relationships, they’ve all fallen apart. The mask they wore is no longer there. This is when they can no longer avoid the truth.
It’s like a game of musical chairs, the music keeps playing, but the chairs keep disappearing. In the end, only one chair is left and it’s not for the narcissist. The people they tried to control have all moved on. This is the moment they fear most. They know it’s coming, and when it does, there won’t be any space left for them.
The narcissist is always chasing the next thing, never living in the moment like you or I do. For them, it’s all about what’s next, the next person, the next opportunity, the next thrill. When something new arrives, they discard anyone who no longer serves their needs, quickly moving on to the next excitement. It’s all about control and manipulation.
This is how they operate over and over again. From the moment they met you to everyone else they’ve met, it’s the same pattern. It’s happening now, and it will continue until it all falls apart. When the applause fades and no one believes the lies anymore, that’s when the truth will surface. And as they age, the cracks in their facade will become more obvious.
But this isn’t just about the narcissist growing older. It’s about what happens when their world crumbles, faster than they ever imagined. That’s when they’ll find themselves with nowhere to go, stuck in the mess they’ve created.
They’ll end up at a cheap motel, with no money and no way out. The room is dirty, cockroaches scatter on the floor, and the sheets are stained. The broken reflection they see inside themselves isn’t just a symbol of misfortune, it shows the hollow life they’ve built and all the damage they’ve caused along the way.
When the show ends, they’re left alone with the truth they can’t escape.
The narcissist has always seen themselves in a broken way, never really knowing who they are. So, what happens when they’re alone? Maybe they lock the door, maybe not, who knows? A series is playing on the laptop in the corner, one that’s been there for years.
The internet keeps cutting out, and the laptop screen flickers with things no one cares about. The lights are off, and the room feels dark and heavy. They lie on a mattress that’s old and dirty, full of stains. It’s far from comfortable, but sometimes, this is all they have.
They just sit there, thinking about all the bad things they’ve done.
For once, they can’t escape themselves. They have to think about all the people they’ve hurt, all the lies they’ve told. The pain they caused will come back to them. They don’t need a mirror to see it. They feel it in their mind, like a fire that won’t go away. They remember every bad choice, every betrayal, every lie, and they can’t escape it.
In this dirty room, the narcissist has to face themselves in a way they usually avoid. Maybe they stay there for hours, maybe a day, or more. No one knows. But what matters is the noise in their mind won’t stop. They can’t ignore it.
They’ll be frustrated, even scream in silence, but no one is there to hear them. All the bad things they’ve done just stay inside. They try to push it away, but it always comes back, making them look for the next distraction, the next thrill. It’s a never-ending cycle.
Now, the narcissist has nothing left to control or hurt.
It’s just them and the broken pieces of their mind, a shattered ego that used to control everything. That fake feeling of being better than everyone is gone now. The truth is, no one cares about them anymore. All the chances they had, given by their family, friends, and coworkers are gone. People trusted them when they wore their perfect mask, pretending to be someone else.
But now, that mask is falling off. They can’t keep pretending. They’re falling apart, losing touch with what’s real. They’re in the same place you were when you were with them, not in a dirty motel, but stuck in confusion and self-doubt. You kept asking yourself who you really were, lost in their lies, losing your confidence and purpose, all while trying to fix a relationship they were secretly ruining.
But now, you’re different. You’ve found your way out. You’re healing, or you’ve already healed. You went no contact, blocked them, and cut them out of your life. That’s your strength, your power. You’re strong, determined, and rising above everything they left behind.
They tried to crush your spirit, tried to make you disappear, but look at you now. You’re shining brighter than ever, stronger than before, because your inner strength is unbreakable. You’ve become someone they could never destroy, and now, you stand tall and powerful.
As I write this article and you read it, maybe you are getting ready to sleep, or maybe you just woke up. You could be drinking your coffee, having lunch, enjoying the beach, or maybe you are on a plane. Maybe you are sitting right next to the narcissist, reading these words and thinking, “I really need to leave this relationship.”
Wherever you are, it’s where you are supposed to be. But here is the hard truth, the narcissist cannot change. They cannot grow or improve. All they want is to keep people stuck, living in the false image they show, trapped in the toxic world they create. That’s why they try so hard to control and manipulate others.
As time passes, you start to realize that you had to think deeply, heal, and deal with everything. Maybe you already did this, or maybe you are still working on it. But the truth is, the narcissist cannot do any of these things. They do not know how to reflect on themselves or heal.
All they can do is stay stuck in their misery, always changing the story in their head, never facing the truth about what they did. They try to change the past in their mind, never admitting to the harm they caused. They will never admit how they hurt people, how they broke relationships, or how they drained others mentally, emotionally, and financially.
Here’s why the narcissist is nothing but a coward and a bully. Imagine them alone in a cheap hotel, the lights are off, and the TV is making noise with old commercials at 4 AM. Their mind is so loud, they can’t stand it. This is the price they pay for hurting others and breaking relationships.
This is the time when they must face themselves, even if they don’t want to. There’s no way to run. They’ll have to think about the damage they’ve caused, but it will only be for a few minutes at a time, like when their phone dies or when they can’t distract themselves anymore. But sooner or later, they will face it. The older they get, the harder it becomes to ignore the truth. Still, they’ll try to pretend nothing happened and cover it up.
Now, here’s the reality. The narcissist had everything they could ever want from you, but instead of loving it, they tried to destroy it. They tried to break you, take everything that mattered to you. They did some damage, yes, but not everything.
Why? Because they couldn’t break you.
You stayed strong, stronger than they ever thought. And what happened next? You healed, or you are healing. Now, the narcissist can’t control you anymore. You don’t care about them or anything from that time. You’ve won.
But for them, this is a big loss. Why? Because they are trapped in their own head, always trying to escape their own mind. All they can do is try to change the past, hoping people will believe their lies. They want to convince themselves and others that they are the victim, lying and twisting things to keep their fake story going.
Imagine the narcissist finally realizes that no one cares about their act anymore. The mask they’ve been wearing doesn’t work anymore, and everyone knows the truth. Time goes on, and they grow old, just like all of us.
But unlike others, they are stuck in their own mess. imagine them in a cheap broken motel room, surrounded by shattered mirrors, with loud chaos all around them. No one is left to impress, and they are trapped in their own mind.
What they never wanted you to understand is that they have to face themselves too. Every time they see a reflection, whether in a car window, a mirror, or even in water, it reminds them of how messed up they are. Those reflections aren’t pretty.
They remind the narcissist of everything they’ve tried to hide, the anxiety, the mess they’ve made, the lies they told, and how empty they feel. When they look at themselves, they don’t see someone amazing. They see someone who is trying to believe they are something they’re not.
They hide the mess, the confusion, and the damage they’ve caused, hoping others will believe their fake story. They depend on others’ attention and praise to fix their fragile ego, so they can get through the next day, the next week, the next month.
But eventually, the audience leaves. No one is buying tickets for their show anymore. No matter where they go or how hard they try to run away, they can’t escape the truth. In the end, the narcissist is left with nothing. No one watching them, no one cheering for them, just the hard truth of what they’ve done.
